Ford W Maverick
Well-Known Member
So at this point I think we're all aware of this movie. Is ANYONE looking forward to seeing it?
I've never had a bigger case of WTF over just the CONCEPT of basing a movie on the Battleship game, but then I saw the first trailer: Battleship - Official Trailer [HD] - YouTube
I seriously facepalmed at this. I mean, someone spent MONEY on making this. Someone got Liam Neeson to be in this! I'm assuming it was the same people that kidnapped his daughter in the movie Taken and this is what he had to do to get her back.
And then in the second trailer they tried to make it all serious and dramatic and in many ways that's actually FUNNIER: Battleship - Official Trailer #2 (HD) - YouTube
I think if Battleship didn't claim to be based on the board game I'd look at it a lot more favorably though. I mean, there COULD be a fun plot in there, in that 'so stupid it's fun' kinda way, but the claims that it's based on the game are ridiculous.
It's like when Pirates of the Caribbean claimed to be based on the Disney ride. Really? Yeah, there's a ride at Disney with that name and it has an animated skeleton or two, but that's a pretty big leap to the movie being BASED on it.
If anything, Battleship has even LESS to do with the board game than Pirates has with the ride. The Battleship game has no characters, no plot to speak of, in essence it's kind of an advanced form of hide and seek (Hide and Seek the movie is MY idea, I'm writing it, back off) so how is it based on the game?
Yeah, there's a Battleship in it (which there shouldn't be, but by some convoluted plot-twistery they'll have one in there) and they'll be in some space-bubble so it'll be like the little arena from the game and they'll be shooting at other ships, but the other ships are ALIEN TRANSFORMERS. And please, don't tell me those aren't transformers because, well, LOOK AT THEM. They might not transform, but it's obvious what they're ripping off.
So yeah, alien transformers from the deep put up a big bubble and they're using it to shield themselves from retaliation as they fire building-destroying death-balls into the nearest cities. The only ones that can stop them are the ships from some naval exercise using antiquated ships that got stuck inside the bubble. Oh, and there's a romantic subplot, because Hollywood DEMANDS a romantic subplot.
So all that is a setup for one line. Yes, ONE LINE. Everyone gets to pay $9 to wait a whole movie for someone (please let it be Neeson) to say "You sank my Battleship!" After which a little bit of all of us DIES.
I really don't want to knee-jerkingly say that this is going to suck, but seriously, how can it NOT?
Bottom line is, if I saw that trailer and it was called "Invaders From the Deep" or something I might not watch it, but I wouldn't be spending time talking about how stupid it is.
Actually, I WOULD see it, just not in the theater. I'd wait and watch it on Netflix. Then afterward, yeah, I'd probably talk about how it sucked.
I've never had a bigger case of WTF over just the CONCEPT of basing a movie on the Battleship game, but then I saw the first trailer: Battleship - Official Trailer [HD] - YouTube
I seriously facepalmed at this. I mean, someone spent MONEY on making this. Someone got Liam Neeson to be in this! I'm assuming it was the same people that kidnapped his daughter in the movie Taken and this is what he had to do to get her back.
And then in the second trailer they tried to make it all serious and dramatic and in many ways that's actually FUNNIER: Battleship - Official Trailer #2 (HD) - YouTube
I think if Battleship didn't claim to be based on the board game I'd look at it a lot more favorably though. I mean, there COULD be a fun plot in there, in that 'so stupid it's fun' kinda way, but the claims that it's based on the game are ridiculous.
It's like when Pirates of the Caribbean claimed to be based on the Disney ride. Really? Yeah, there's a ride at Disney with that name and it has an animated skeleton or two, but that's a pretty big leap to the movie being BASED on it.
If anything, Battleship has even LESS to do with the board game than Pirates has with the ride. The Battleship game has no characters, no plot to speak of, in essence it's kind of an advanced form of hide and seek (Hide and Seek the movie is MY idea, I'm writing it, back off) so how is it based on the game?
Yeah, there's a Battleship in it (which there shouldn't be, but by some convoluted plot-twistery they'll have one in there) and they'll be in some space-bubble so it'll be like the little arena from the game and they'll be shooting at other ships, but the other ships are ALIEN TRANSFORMERS. And please, don't tell me those aren't transformers because, well, LOOK AT THEM. They might not transform, but it's obvious what they're ripping off.
So yeah, alien transformers from the deep put up a big bubble and they're using it to shield themselves from retaliation as they fire building-destroying death-balls into the nearest cities. The only ones that can stop them are the ships from some naval exercise using antiquated ships that got stuck inside the bubble. Oh, and there's a romantic subplot, because Hollywood DEMANDS a romantic subplot.
So all that is a setup for one line. Yes, ONE LINE. Everyone gets to pay $9 to wait a whole movie for someone (please let it be Neeson) to say "You sank my Battleship!" After which a little bit of all of us DIES.
I really don't want to knee-jerkingly say that this is going to suck, but seriously, how can it NOT?
Bottom line is, if I saw that trailer and it was called "Invaders From the Deep" or something I might not watch it, but I wouldn't be spending time talking about how stupid it is.
Actually, I WOULD see it, just not in the theater. I'd wait and watch it on Netflix. Then afterward, yeah, I'd probably talk about how it sucked.