The line density could stand to be adjusted here, but I think the biggest issue is the fabric chosen. The color isn't right, but that aside, those wrinkles you're seeing on the original film collar are because of the cotton chosen. With wool, the entire coat is going to retain too clean a finish. As it wears, it should look worn in.
The raglan lines along the shoulders also look like they're...floating? I'm not sure what the correct term is here. They seem to be more flush with the surface on the film coat and on the mangoli. I don't know whether that's because of the fabric chosen, or how they attach. Again, I'm not an expert on this coat--I'm just stating what my eyes see in these photos based on the fabric used.