There's a lot here, so let me split it up a bit to address your points as well as I can. I'm just getting home after 11 hours at work and it's time for a drink. Here we go!
You see her as a sympathetic. I see that she wasn't and she could have been more.
I haven't actually said that I see her as sympathetic, but it didn't take much to see where she was coming from for me though. Something happened to her that was beyond her control and it changes everything about her life. Like most superheroes, amazing powers, lots of real-life complications.
Ironically, I
feel more sympathy for Bruce. He's basically an elder statesman of the Avengers at this point, three of his dearest friends and comrades are gone, and he's left to help keep the world spinning in their absence. Then, suddenly he sees an opportunity to pass down everything he's learned about how to deal with his particular set of powers to a brand new Hulk, but it turns out most of what he knows isn't that useful to her because she doesn't have the same lived experience that he had. Instead of getting to be a mentor, he has to take a backseat and let this new Hulk figure herself out. Most superhero origins involving a mentor figure have some version of this, where the mentor is ignored at first, sometimes at the peril of the new hero.
Are you the kind of guy who would tell their cousin to get over losing a leg in a car accident, telling them to get up and go for a walk and then pull the wheelchair from underneath them, all because you lost a toe in a car accident?
I don't think that is at all the situation we're looking at here, to be frank. Bruce has had a great deal of trauma, to be sure, but at the point that we see him in this show he has basically come to terms with his inner turmoil and fused his warring personalities, or at least set up a treaty of some kind between them. His wounds are old, and the ones that didn't heal all the way are at least scarred over. He knows them inside and out, they're part of him now.
Jennifer's are fresh. She doesn't know what to do with them, or how to rebuild her life around them. Without a second personality warring for control of her body, she clearly doesn't have as difficult a row to hoe as Bruce did, but she has something to contend with that he didn't. Bruce came into his powers in a world that only knew how to be frightened of him, and spent a lot of time on the run before he knew how to control them. The problem Jenn faces is totally different. Going on the run isn't an option for her. She has to integrate her new powers into her life in some way, and isn't ready to give up her old life. It's a battle of her choosing, certainly Bruce wasn't given the choice, but it's her battle nonetheless.
To borrow from your analogy, it's more like Bruce broke a leg and tried use his broken leg experience to help Jenn, when she has a hyperextended knee. His situation just doesn't apply as much to hers as he thought it did, and her frustration at that is understandable. Any time where you put two competent, smart people in slight opposition to each other you're going to get a little friction.
He felt justified in trying to use his experience as the Hulk to show her how to deal with her emotions, after all why wouldn't he? From his perspective learning to control his anger has been the lynchpin of his whole world as the Hulk. She already knows how to keep her emotions in check when necessary, as a matter of physical and emotional survival, because from her POV it's necessary for her to do so as a woman.
I didn't see anyone being cruel, I saw a heated disagreement brought on by two very different perspectives, with neither one being wrong, just adapted to suit their own experiences. Then they punch each other a little bit and everything is OK again because comics.