Star Trek: Strange New Worlds



So, in this Bizzaroverse, the Federation is a matriarchy, Vulcan women propose to the men, slapping and punching men is fine and dandy, and Christine Chapel is a proponent of casual, relationship-free sex AND bisexual (because everyone in STAR TREK is now “baseline bisexual”)?

As with most “adaptations”, these days, they just slap familiar names on total strangers. You simply cannot connect the dots. Looking forward to seeing Memory Alpha try, as things get more and more ridiculous.

I almost can’t wait for them to bring Kirk in. Just go for it, so we can ruthlessly mock it. The vandalism will be complete, then.
 
the Federation is a matriarchy
what?

Vulcan women propose to the men
So? And fans have assumed Vulcan was a Matriarchy since Amok Time.

slapping and punching men is fine and dandy,
She bopped him on the head, that was not a slap. And I fail to see why it's not possible that someone with the legal authority to apprehend a criminal wouldn't be allowed to use force.

Christine Chapel is a proponent of casual, relationship-free sex
You can't do character growth if your character starts at the same spot they end at.
 


So, in this Bizzaroverse, the Federation is a matriarchy, Vulcan women propose to the men, slapping and punching men is fine and dandy, and Christine Chapel is a proponent of casual, relationship-free sex AND bisexual (because everyone in STAR TREK is now “baseline bisexual”)?

As with most “adaptations”, these days, they just slap familiar names on total strangers. You simply cannot connect the dots. Looking forward to seeing Memory Alpha try, as things get more and more ridiculous.

I almost can’t wait for them to bring Kirk in. Just go for it, so we can ruthlessly mock it. The vandalism will be complete, then.
They won’t bring Kirk on unless they can tear him down. Which will be a funny choice, given that right now, Paramount’s most successful property is about a masculine, courageous, noble American hero. $156M first weekend, $86M second weekend, headed north of $300M domestic in less than a month. Will Paramount learn anything from that, or will they just assume it’s the jets?

At least they can’t deny Tom Cruise can still open a picture like no one else, and we’ll get more great movies from him.

Meanwhile, I’ll let today’s drop from the Celtic Kegger make the case about the cancer now afflicting the SW universe:


And as a footnote, to add insult to injury, the fan films are better SW than what the mouse is turning out now…

 
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They won’t bring Kirk on unless they can tear him down. Which will be a funny choice, given that right now, Paramount’s most successful property is about a masculine, courageous, noble American hero. $156M first weekend, $86M second weekend, headed north of $300M domestic in less than a month. Will Paramount learn anything from that, or will they just assume it’s the jets?

At least they can’t deny Tom Cruise can still open a picture like no one else, and we’ll get more great movies from him.

Meanwhile, I’ll let today’s drop from the Celtic Kegger make the case about the cancer now afflicting the SW universe:


And as a footnote, to add insult to injury, the fan films are better SW than what the mouse is turning out now…



Yep.

I want to see Kirk literally get kicked in the nuts on SNW, just for the deluge of “fans” bending over backwards to say that it’s somehow not disrespectful and that it all makes sense.

And, yes, STAR WARS has been bad fanfiction (…though arguably not FANfiction, since these people are clearly not respectful of or properly familiar with the source material) since Lucas signed it over. I would literally watch the HOLIDAY SPECIAL over the Disney Trilogy or any of the shows now being thrown at the wall.
 
Yep.

I want to see Kirk literally get kicked in the nuts on SNW, just for the deluge of “fans” bending over backwards to say that it’s somehow not disrespectful and that it all makes sense.

And, yes, STAR WARS has been bad fanfiction (…though arguably not FANfiction, since these people are clearly not respectful of or properly familiar with the source material) since Lucas signed it over. I would literally watch the HOLIDAY SPECIAL over the Disney Trilogy or any of the shows now being thrown at the wall.
Yep. We won’t get Balance of Terror Kirk, or Arena Kirk, or even Trouble with Tribbles Kirk. We’ll get Turnabout Intruder Kirk. Played by Eliot Page.
 
He just dripped an "Empire Strikes Back" level sequel.
Bigger. Though admittedly I haven’t run the numbers and adjusted for inflation. Studios never do that (because they want everyone to focus on absolute numbers), and I can’t be bothered—but I’d be very surprised if it made this level of green in just two weekends.

Okay, I lied. I got curious. So in 1980, Empire opened at $4,910,483 in its first weekend. Adjusting to 2022 dollars, that comes to a paltry $17,228,942.11. So Tom Cruise just did ten times Empire’s business, adjusted for inflation. If you’re curious, that was against a budget of $18M, which in today’s dollars comes to just over $62M. Adjusted for inflation, movies are vastly more expensive today than they were then.
 
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Just saw I have to adjust the above numbers, but this is a lucky comparison—turns out Empire also opened on Memorial Day weekend of that year. The figure for the entire (May 23-26) weekend is $6,415,804, which adjusted for inflation comes to $22,510,517.94. So at $156M for this past Memorial Day Weekend, that’s closer to 7 times Empire’s business. Empire’s original cumulative box office (not counting re-releases, which complicate the calculation without adding much) was about $209M, which is $733M today. TG:M is at around $549M right now, worldwide.

I should add, in case it’s lost on anyone, that stars of Cruise’s stature are first-dollar gross participants. So whatever he got up front (at least $20M, but likely more), he’s now getting quite a bump…

8033013D-28EF-47D4-8F1D-7AACF1E2C92A.jpeg


SKIMMED—RIGHT OFF THE TOP!!!!
 
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Setting aside the fact that they can’t even keep their own continuity straight (as seen in the video, the section of the saucer with the “oldest hull plate” was totally blown away in STD), this got me thinking.

Part of the elegant simplicity of TOS was the simplicity of the storytelling, in that the sole focus of each episode was the plot of the week. The mission of the Enterprise was the focus of the show, and so the runtime of a given episode was solely devoted to, say, the crew encountering Balok or Apollo or Khan. There were no subplots to speak of, and the characters were developed within the context of the episodic stories being told. This added to the verisimilitude of the show, because it was all about the mission or adventure of the week, without non-essential detours or filler. People nowadays love to bitch about how the characters’ personal lives were never developed in detail (particularly the secondary players, who were, after all, secondary players in a plot-driven show with three lead characters). TOS was plot-driven, rather than character-driven, and the characters served as our guides through the science-fiction concepts and themes of each episode. “These are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise”, not “Let’s get to know these people as they joyride around space”.

Flash-forward to the TNG era, and television storytelling had changed. While TNG retained the episodic format, albeit with some running plotlines that spanned episodes (or even seasons) on occasion, the show became more focused on the now-ensemble cast, and episodes often included an “A” story and a “B” story (or even a “C” story). To cite a random example, the “A” story in “The Icarus Factor” is Riker’s conflict with this father, and the “B” story is Worf celebrating the anniversary of his Rite of Ascension. Sometimes, the “B” stories served to flesh out the characters or provide a break from the “A” story, and other times they were just padding.

The subsequent spin-off shows followed the same format, even as television became more and more character-driven and arc-driven, as with the brilliant, long-form character studies of top-tier modern shows like THE SOPRANOS and BREAKING BAD. STAR TREK only began to dabble with season-long arcs in the late 90s and early 00s.

Flash-forward again to now, and we have what is ostensibly a return to form, with the Not-Enterprise having episodic adventures…and yet also with pointless padding subplots like “Enterprise Bingo”, as well as characters like Not-Chapel talking about how she prefers slutting around to having committed relationships.


In 1966, “Shore Leave” placed the Enterprise crew in mortal danger on a planet that at first seemed idyllic. Even when our heroes tried to get a break, there was still a compelling adventure to be had. If “Shore Leave” was made today, it would be an hour of the characters talking about their feelings and their sex lives.
 
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