Movies that should never be re-made

Don't mean to nitpick, but you do know this was remade a couple of times? Just, you know, not with Samurai.

And Yojimbo was reimagined into Eastwood's The Man With No Name films wasn't it?

Yes, but those re-makes weren't strict 1:1 re-makes. I have no problem with Magnificent Seven, Samurai Seven, or a Bug's Life. Even King's Wolves of the Calla. They're not remakes in the sense that they do the exact same thing on newer film stock.

Regarding Mag. Seven/Seven Samurai and Yojimbo/Fistfull of Dollars: There's a line between re-make and homage, and the give and take between the American and Spaghetti Western and the Japanese Samurai film is a fruitful one, not a parasitic one.
 
Right. Plus, in today's culture, none of those movies would be green-lit. Or at least, they'd be seen as riskier than simply taking a book/comic/TV show/toy property/previous film, keeping the name and most basic window-dressing, and doing a movie based on THAT.

It's what makes "brand" films so cynical and manipulative -- much of the time, only the thinnest veneer of what makes the original brand special is retained, and a lot is changed. There's always a tension between keeping just enough of the original to satisfy folks, and "updating" things enough so that you aren't literally just aping the original one for one.

With the Kurosawa/Western films, the setting changes, but the basic plot points don't. Sometimes this kind of thing works, but a lot of the time it doesn't because the cultural cues don't translate that well. With the Kurosawa films translated to Western films, they work fantastically well. But a lot of the horror films that get translated to American audiences from their originals don't work that well, or at least don't work as well as the original.

However when it's working, what you're seeing is a translation of the common cultural elements from one culture to another. In that case, a "remake" makes sense. But those aren't "branded" films, or at least not the kind of no-brainer that a film like, say, Gummi Bears: The Movie, or Laser Tag: The Movie, or a remake of Goonies would be. Those branded properties all have way more strength on the NAME ALONE to the point where it doesnt' MATTER what's different between the film and the original material. The point is that you KNOW the basic concept, and that's all they need to get you to "just give it a chance."


Why does this work?


Simple.


"Just give it a chance" means "Just go buy a ticket." And once they have your money, they don't CARE if you like the film, as long as enough people go to see it. I mean, look at how people hate on Bayformers --- and still go to see it and its sequels.

Branding works.


As long as it continues to work, why would they do ANYTHING differently? Why take a risk, when you're FAR more likely to make bank with a safe bet? Especially when "making bank" on the safe bet is basically the same as "making bank" on a risky property? Where's the upside to the risk of backing a film like Inception? What, you get a new franchise you can launch? WHO CARES?! Just go option an OLD franchise or brand. Pitfall: The Movie. Oregon Trail: The Movie. Cap'n Crunch: The Movie. Laugh at this stuff if you want, but I GUARANTEE you that some Hollywood ******* would look at that and say "BRILLIANT! Britney, get my lawyer on the phone!"
 
There are some good remakes.

Maltese Falcon
The Thing
Oceans 11
Cape Fear
The Fly
3:10 To Yuma

I like both versions of The Italian Job. Just because a remake is made, doesn't mean the original is ruined, or that they both cant be good.


I think the idea of a Total Recall remake sounds great.


Add Wizard of Oz, An Affair to Remember, Invasion of the Body Snatchers (70's) and The Ten Commandments to this list as well.

Doug
 
Some times with a good story it just works, off course using a good director helps.
Yojimbo-Akira Kurosawa
Fistful of dollars-Sergia Leone
Mad Max , the road warrior -George Miller
Last man standing- Walter Hill
Same story, not too different settings tbh, but (allthough I admit having not seen the original) they all seem to work well on their own.

And I really don't know how many times 'Hamlet' has been done, most famous is probably Disney's 'the Lion king' , not to mention Romeo and Juliet. (and Shakespeare stole those too :p )

And then there's the typical Rocky/karate kid story, just done to death :p

I think a big part of the problem is when they try to add too many elements to a story and try to complicate it just too 'look smart' , when simple plots always seem to work well.
 
Mad Max and The Road Warrior are NOT the same as Yojimbo, Last Man Standing, or Fistful of Dollars.

If anything, The Road Warrior is a bit closer to Shane with bits of Stagecoach mixed in. But it isn't even really that. Mad Max 1 is even more different. I grant you that both have elements of classic westerns in them, but they aren't Yojimbo.
 
There are some good remakes.

Maltese Falcon
The Thing
Oceans 11
Cape Fear
The Fly
3:10 To Yuma

I like both versions of The Italian Job. Just because a remake is made, doenst mean the original is ruined, or that they both cant be good.

I think the idea of a Total Recall remake sounds great.

Hate to break it to you but the 1941 Maltese Falcon was a re-make
 
Mad Max and The Road Warrior are NOT the same as Yojimbo, Last Man Standing, or Fistful of Dollars.

If anything, The Road Warrior is a bit closer to Shane with bits of Stagecoach mixed in. But it isn't even really that. Mad Max 1 is even more different. I grant you that both have elements of classic westerns in them, but they aren't Yojimbo.

I only ment the Road warrior, as I think has a lot of the elements with two 'tribes' fighting and Max taking advantage of the situation. But I agree he take sides alot more with one of the fractions, and it's a huge plot point that he changes as a human throughout the movie.

Mad Max 1 is more the classic 'revenge movie' (which Steven Seagal has doen to death) just on a higher level than most American b-movie versions.

Still, there are at least three versions of Yojimbo that are quite good then :p
 
For me it would be BTTF, Forrest Gump, Dirty Dancing, Grease, Casablanca and maybe Dune^^

They can make a new bttf with like a new story and diff characters, but cant remake the original trilogy. bob and bob own the rights to the characters and said that it will never be remade with doc and marty. Which is a total relief!

As for my list, i do not want these remade:
Jaws, Star Wars, Dirty Harry, Goonies, Ninja Turtles, American Grafitti, Willow, The Outsiders, Big.

I got more but cant think of em all. Might give hollywood ideas
 
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