I don't mean I'm going to off myself. I mean simply don't care anymore about trying to find a happy life on this planet. It's not going to happen. But if that tornado had killed me, I wouldn't have exactly cared either. Earth sucks and so do the idiot doctors on it and the people running it. Look at the news to see what I mean.
Bad and worse are your choices in life. If you don't worship money and owning things, this place is a crap hole anyway. No meaning, fairness, or purpose to life. No justice. Just jackholes trying to steal your stuff with constant internet scams and more, often targeting the senile older population who don't understand technology.
It's sick. I had to block all calls not from known numbers to my mom's house because she was averaging 12 calls a day from "charities" trying to get her money. She had a stroke a couple of years ago and she's not so sharp anymore.
But that's better than my dad who died during Covid, but not from Covid but because his experience was so bad in the hospital (they were all terrified they would catch Covid so they avoided proper care. I know as his wife was a nurse) that he didn't want to get surgery and have to stay there for weeks on end. So they gave him hospice care and he just waited and he had a heart attack and died. No one did a thing to stop it.
I then had to the deal with my mom in the hospital the following year (stroked twice) while they were still enforcing insane limits on visits, etc because of rampant paranoia over Covid over two years in, long after it ceased to be a huge threat! Pure misery.
Now I've got this weird crap to deal with myself while taking care of her while my brother runs off for a 3 week vacation to Alaska and Canada. I haven't been on a proper vacation in 7 years and he's whining he needs to get away when he's averaging 4 trips a year. He just ran down to King's Island two weeks earlier. He hadn't been there in 18 years he complained! Yeah, well I haven't been there in 26 years and he's almost 5 years older than me.
I'm sorry, but life just sucks. It's probably chronic stress causing it. That seems the most likely to me. Ai agrees.
I suppose I should be glad these entities hug me. That's about as close as I get to love these days. My mom says she cares, but she's lucky to remember her own name anymore.
Nevermind. I shouldn't be whining. It could be a lot worse. I've got money and a home and food. That's more than many have. Then there's the lighter collection, of course.
