VonMagnum its been a bit and I saw you were logged on. Any news on the health front?
Just chekin in on you.
I've got a nerve conduction test in about 3 weeks followed the next day with a neurosurgeon (don't ask me; I think my idiot doctor thinks something needs cut out, but at least he should be qualified to give an opinion).
Meanwhile, I seem to be home to a family of seemingly aquatic alien squid-like beings, a mother and three children. The kids are getting pretty big. They do like to snuggle at night. It took me awhile to figure out what was happening. I think one of the babies was inadvertently stabbing me in the groin with the edge of its body. The one on my left side likes to harden its body (dress like) and rub my foot as it drapes down. We'll, imagine that jabbing you in the groin... It eventually got too tall, I think. There's one draped down my right side, bit I can't feel it as well without concentrating so that might go along with the lesion being on the right side of my brain that I can sense more on the left easier, but the right commissure is where the two brain halves talk to each other so that might explain how I can sense on both sides with a little concentration.
If that sounds looney as hell, you're correct. I'm fully aware of how it sounds. But if I'm truly hallucinating, it's pretty darn consistent. My foot can move and bump into another part of it. The little ones (that aren't so little anymore) respond to me petting them in the air where I feel they're at.
The one will even put stretch its arms around me and hug. I can feel the mother petting them and picking them up to hold them (bottom even moves up my leg somewhat).
There's a 3rd one that backed into my crotch area and is inside my chest. I'm hoping it's a hallucination or at least isn't trying to dissolve my internal organs or something, but I think there's just no room for it to sit anywhere else with the mother behind me and the other two draped from my shoulder to my feet.
So either I've got one hell of a bizarre imagination hallucinating these creatures or that brain damage near my pineal gland has somehow enabled me to detect creatures in another dimension/realm or state of being. They seem to swim around rather than fly in their motions and feel like a jellyfish structure inside. Some people taking DMT on Reddit claim to have seen what sounds like similar creatures in their "trips" and describe them as translucent with shiny lights on their feeling/sensory tentacles. Their faces/mouths do seem to have some kind of sensory tentacles (or straws to suck my brains out?) so who knows.
I feel like I'm living in the Twilight Zone movie or something. The doctors don't seem to care I've been dealing with this for 4.5 months now. Just wait another 3 weeks to see another useless doctor....
Its hard to function with all these distracting sensations going on around me. I've tried cortisol reducing herbals to no effect. I have to take a lot of sleeping pills to stay asleep as every time I turn they want to play or whatever (once I lay down, they start swimming around me for a bit. I guess it's exercise time as they're stuck on place all day lest they might become detached? Are there predators in their world? Do I look like a shining energy coral reef? Or are they purely parasitical in nature?
Or am I just crazy as a loon and will slowly deteriorate into a vegetable as my brain turns into mush? It'll be so exciting to find out!
I've got (or had) a 139 IQ so maybe that simply gives me a more unique analytical perspective on my own madness. It seems ridiculous and yet it behaves largely like some mystical alien family (I doubt demons have kids and hug/pet their young, for instance, but what do I know beyond myth?).
I actually tried out some Ai chats to see what it thought or of it could find references to something like it. Not really. At least it's nice about telling me I'm nuts. It had some possible theories how that lesion could generate such a hallucination despite that type of lesion not being common to it by involving possible inflammation in the surrounding areas that are more likely to cause hallucinations. But the MRI is stable looking so that seems unlikely. Stress is a possible cause, but I never hallucinated about alien squid families before.... On fact, other than creepy crawling sensation after pulling a back muscle, I've never hallucinated anything outside of sleep paralysis before.
If I was going to hallucinate, why not something pleasant like invisible women from Venus or something?