Wow, the SAW franchise is just awful (horror marathon rant)

[cayman shen]

The 1st one was an interesting idea, but like almost all horror films (for me) the writing falls apart eventually and I'm "out" of the story by the 3rd act. My daughter wants to do a horror movie marathon this year, but I'm having a hard time coming up with 5 that are "good" films in general. Even the classics that I enjoyed as a kid now seem like poorly made films unfortunately, I can handle the 1st few Elm Street film but only for the laughs.

Oh man, if you can't find five good horror movies, you aren't looking hard enough! Show her the Descent (original UK ending) and the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre to start off with, then the Babadook just to mix it up with a bit of ghost story goodness. Then hit the 80s with The Fly for your sci-fi twist, and wrap up with a classic like the Exorcist. BAM!

 

[Bigdaddy]

Oh man, if you can't find five good horror movies, you aren't looking hard enough! Show her the Descent (original UK ending) and the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre to start off with, then the Babadook just to mix it up with a bit of ghost story goodness. Then hit the 80s with The Fly for your sci-fi twist, and wrap up with a classic like the Exorcist. BAM!

I haven't seen Texas Chainsaw Massacre or The Fly in over 20 years, might be worth dusting them off, along with The Thing (Carpenter). We tried Halloween, The Exorcist, Friday the 13th and a few others last year and she literally laughed at them. So far The Shining, Alien and Silence of the Lambs top the list of "classic" horror for her. I have yet to watch Seven with her but this might be the year.

 

[Solo4114]

I haven't seen Texas Chainsaw Massacre or The Fly in over 20 years, might be worth dusting them off, along with The Thing (Carpenter). We tried Halloween, The Exorcist, Friday the 13th and a few others last year and she literally laughed at them. So far The Shining, Alien and Silence of the Lambs top the list of "classic" horror for her. I have yet to watch Seven with her but this might be the year.

The Fly totally holds up. It's beautiful, horrific, and tragic. The creature F/X look somewhat dated, but it's the commitment to the performances and the emotional core of the movie that really make it amazing.

By director/creator:

Wes Craven
- Scream (especially if you watch a bunch of other 80s slasher flicks first)

Clive Barker
- Hellraiser.
- Lord of Illusions. Love this one, mostly because it blends film noir with horror.
- Nightbreed (flip a coin on director's cut vs. original -- I found the director's cut didn't add a ton)

John Carpenter
- Halloween. THE Slasher film.
- The Thing
- Prince of Darkness. Actually, I might skip this one because it's a little too...hmm...conceptual.
- In the Mouth of Madness.

What I'd say about Carpenter's stuff -- especially his "apocalypse trilogy" -- is that it defies a lot of traditional horror expectations. The good guys don't really "win." The endings are bleak. His films aren't necessarily scary, though. They're more just interesting and suspenseful, and occasionally horrific with the gore (especially The Thing).

Other suggestions:

- The Ring (American version). Sorry purists, but Ringu is just flat-out dull. The Ring was actually creepy enough that it got me to unplug my TV for the night after I watched it.
- Event Horizon (Hellraiser in space!)


I'd say figure out what your daughter is into in terms of horror. Does she want gore? Genuine fear? A lingering sense of being creeped out afterwards? Does she dig supernatural stuff? Slasher films? Torture porn?

If you find her laughing at the cheesy f/x and such in films, remind her that the stuff she does dig now had to come from somewhere, and this is where. (But yes, it's cheesy.)


OH! And for straight-up laughs, watch The Prophecy with Talia Shire. The one about the mutated bear.

If you haven't seen it, don't watch the scene I've posted below because it's literally the best moment in the film. If you have, you probably already know what I'm linking to.

Spoiler

 

[Bigdaddy]

The Fly totally holds up. It's beautiful, horrific, and tragic. The creature F/X look somewhat dated, but it's the commitment to the performances and the emotional core of the movie that really make it amazing.

By director/creator:

Wes Craven
- Scream (especially if you watch a bunch of other 80s slasher flicks first)

Clive Barker
- Hellraiser.
- Lord of Illusions. Love this one, mostly because it blends film noir with horror.
- Nightbreed (flip a coin on director's cut vs. original -- I found the director's cut didn't add a ton)

John Carpenter
- Halloween. THE Slasher film.
- The Thing
- Prince of Darkness. Actually, I might skip this one because it's a little too...hmm...conceptual.
- In the Mouth of Madness.

What I'd say about Carpenter's stuff -- especially his "apocalypse trilogy" -- is that it defies a lot of traditional horror expectations. The good guys don't really "win." The endings are bleak. His films aren't necessarily scary, though. They're more just interesting and suspenseful, and occasionally horrific with the gore (especially The Thing).

Other suggestions:

- The Ring (American version). Sorry purists, but Ringu is just flat-out dull. The Ring was actually creepy enough that it got me to unplug my TV for the night after I watched it.
- Event Horizon (Hellraiser in space!)


I'd say figure out what your daughter is into in terms of horror. Does she want gore? Genuine fear? A lingering sense of being creeped out afterwards? Does she dig supernatural stuff? Slasher films? Torture porn?

If you find her laughing at the cheesy f/x and such in films, remind her that the stuff she does dig now had to come from somewhere, and this is where. (But yes, it's cheesy.)


OH! And for straight-up laughs, watch The Prophecy with Talia Shire. The one about the mutated bear.

If you haven't seen it, don't watch the scene I've posted below because it's literally the best moment in the film. If you have, you probably already know what I'm linking to.

Spoiler

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7zLb9UtQhy8

Thanks Dan, Hellraiser (maybe 2 as well), Scream and Event Horizon are definitely added to the list! She likes suspense and "jump" scares, gore to a certain point, but not torture porn (it has to serve the story). She dug the Ring, and Sixth Sense (horror?) because of the suspense, mostly stuff that relies on biblical story points becomes boring because she has never had religious instruction.
I should point out she rarely laughs at the F/X (American Werewolf in London blew her away!) it's plot holes, unbelievable character actions and poor acting that get her (and me) chuckling.
I completely forgot about Prophecy, :lol without clicking the link I can tell you that scared me to death on camping trips for a few years! :facepalm

 

[crabra comander]

Yes, sleeping bags are a death trap :lol

 

[Bigdaddy]

We watched Saw (surprisingly good) and Scream (surprisingly enjoyable, though I wouldn't call it "good") I'm going to have to order Prophecy since the video store no longer stocks it.
Hellraiser is next on the list.

 

[Solo4114]

For what it's worth, the whole film is, I think, available for free on Youtube. I wouldn't necessarily spend money on it.

Also, be on the lookout for Armand Assante playing a Native American in the film.

Yeah.

 

[cayman shen]

We watched Saw (surprisingly good) and Scream (surprisingly enjoyable, though I wouldn't call it "good") I'm going to have to order Prophecy since the video store no longer stocks it.
Hellraiser is next on the list.

You won't go wrong with Hellraiser. Part two is also great. After that, it goes downhill reaaaallly fast!

 

[Bigdaddy]

For what it's worth, the whole film is, I think, available for free on Youtube. I wouldn't necessarily spend money on it.

Also, be on the lookout for Armand Assante playing a Native American in the film.

I saw it posted on youtube but unfortunately our download limitations don't make viewing more than a few clips a day feasible.

You won't go wrong with Hellraiser. Part two is also great. After that, it goes downhill reaaaallly fast!

I don't remember much except the Dr. (part 2?) but Pinhead was well portrayed, I'm looking forward to it.

A couple more we added to the list for October:
Christine
Secret Window
Child's Play (for the laughs )

 

[The Terminator]

Scream and Scream 2, aaaawwweeesome
I hated Event Horizon

MINDHUNTERS:

 

[The Mad Professor]

Man, I haven't seen Prophecy in years and totally forgot about that scene. I was wondering why the holoscene in Jason X seemed so familiar...

 

[Solo4114]

Scream and Scream 2, aaaawwweeesome
I hated Event Horizon

MINDHUNTERS:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZTLaj8JuIsc

Event Horizon is basically "Hellraiser in Spaaaaaaaace!" Except it's better than most of the Hellraiser sequels.


If that's not your cup of tea, though, I can see where transporting it to space wouldn't make it any better.

 

[Cephus]

Event Horizon is basically "Hellraiser in Spaaaaaaaace!" Except it's better than most of the Hellraiser sequels.


If that's not your cup of tea, though, I can see where transporting it to space wouldn't make it any better.

Well, Hellraiser pretty much went to... well, hell, especially when the sequels went straight to video.

 

[The Mad Professor]

Well, Hellraiser pretty much went to... well, hell, especially when the sequels went straight to video.

Any time a sequel goes straight to video, you know it's bad (except Guyver 2, which was TONS better than the first one).

Of course, it's even worse when a sequel comes out on SyFy... (Lake Placid 3)

 

[cayman shen]

Just did House of 1000 Corpses and Devil's Rejects. House is a lovingly crafted movie hobbled by nonsensical excess in the last reel, but Rejects is fit to stand shoulder to shoulder with any great piece of cinema. It's the Godfather, Bonnie and Clyde, and the Texas Chainsaw Massacre seasoned with a dash of Thelma and Louise by way of Pulp Fiction. The Firefly clan would giggle at that Saw trash.

 

[The Terminator]

Event Horizon is basically "Hellraiser in Spaaaaaaaace!" Except it's better than most of the Hellraiser sequels.


If that's not your cup of tea, though, I can see where transporting it to space wouldn't make it any better.

I did watch four or five Hellraiser films and didn't get scared or disgusted just bored so... yeah not my cup of tea

 

[Solo4114]

I did watch four or five Hellraiser films and didn't get scared or disgusted just bored so... yeah not my cup of tea

First one is solid. Second one expands on the mythology of the first. Third one was...uh...basically just Nightmare on Hell Street (seriously, a cenobite who shoots killer CDs?!), and I think I only saw part of the 4th one, which was also stupid.

That said, neither is particularly terrifying. They're more interesting concepts, in my opinion, and frightening ideas, but they aren't the kind of thing that'll keep you up at night. Oddly, the last film that did that for me was the American version of The Ring. The second one, though, was laughably bad. As in I actually laughed out loud at the deer attack scene. The rest was boring.

Just did House of 1000 Corpses and Devil's Rejects. House is a lovingly crafted movie hobbled by nonsensical excess in the last reel, but Rejects is fit to stand shoulder to shoulder with any great piece of cinema. It's the Godfather, Bonnie and Clyde, and the Texas Chainsaw Massacre seasoned with a dash of Thelma and Louise by way of Pulp Fiction. The Firefly clan would giggle at that Saw trash.

 

[The Terminator]

First one is solid. Second one expands on the mythology of the first. Third one was...uh...basically just Nightmare on Hell Street (seriously, a cenobite who shoots killer CDs?!), and I think I only saw part of the 4th one, which was also stupid.

That said, neither is particularly terrifying. They're more interesting concepts, in my opinion, and frightening ideas, but they aren't the kind of thing that'll keep you up at night. Oddly, the last film that did that for me was the American version of The Ring. The second one, though, was laughably bad. As in I actually laughed out loud at the deer attack scene. The rest was boring.

Yeah, The Ring was creepy. Tried to watch the original but noooope, japanese "scary" films are not my thing either it would seem. Watched The Grudge and didn't like it, tried to watch again the two Japanese films and I just laughed and cringed through the whole thing.

Can't wait to NOT see the new prequel they are making.

 

[PoopaPapaPalps]

Since we're talking horror franchises with a solid first film and crap sequels, I don't know anyone else feels about this, but I'm a huge fan of the first Candyman. I think of all horror movies, it is one of the most artfully filmed movies in that genre. Some of the story doesn't carry water but its visuals more than make up for it, I think.

 

[Solo4114]

The first Candyman, what I recall from it, was decently creepy. I've still never done "Candyman" or "Bloody Mary" in the mirror, and doubt I ever will. But the first one, as I recall, was pretty good.