SW Acolyte in a tail spin

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You know what's a normal, rational response? Addressing another human being with a polite conversation and not assuming the worst about them before talking to them. If your first instinct is to "test" the opposite gender about their film preferences and then dismiss them entirely if they don't align to your personal tastes, then that speaks volumes about how you think of and treat other people as a general rule, and more likely, how you think of the opposite gender, broadly speaking.

That post exemplifies everything wrong with modern fandom by being needlessly antagonistic and judgemental before ever engaging in a real discussion. If she ever approached me (assuming I'd never seen her post) and the topic came up, and she told me Last Jedi was her favorite. I would say, "that's cool." Tell her I'm an OT guy and likely talk about something else. Even learning someone is a fan doesn’t typically prompt my interest enough to discuss the series. I'd much rather talk about other things.

Despite what many fans think, you can have strong opinions about a film, and just because I feel Last Jedi ruined everything, doesn't mean that my first impulse would be to "test" another person about what they like or don't like. I'd rather meet someone where they are, and treat them as respectfully as they would treat me.

The only reason I've been vocal about my distaste here or elsewhere online is because for the last twelve years I've been told to shut up and that my opinion isn't allowed or welcome and I'm often met with straight on antagonistic responses, or passive aggressive nods towards disrespect. Just because I don't agree with someone, doesn't automatically mean I hate them as a person. My friends like all kinds of crap that I can't stand, but they're still my friends.

This all or nothing bull has to stop. There's room for everyone.

STAR WARS used to bring people together. Now, it just tears them apart.

By design.

That’s the actual problem.
 
You know what's a normal, rational response? Addressing another human being with a polite conversation and not assuming the worst about them before talking to them. If your first instinct is to "test" the opposite gender about their film preferences and then dismiss them entirely if they don't align to your personal tastes, then that speaks volumes about how you think of and treat other people as a general rule, and more likely, how you think of the opposite gender, broadly speaking.

That post exemplifies everything wrong with modern fandom by being needlessly antagonistic and judgemental before ever engaging in a real discussion. If she ever approached me (assuming I'd never seen her post) and the topic came up, and she told me Last Jedi was her favorite. I would say, "that's cool." Tell her I'm an OT guy and likely talk about something else. Even learning someone is a fan doesn’t typically prompt my interest enough to discuss the series. I'd much rather talk about other things.

Despite what many fans think, you can have strong opinions about a film, and just because I feel Last Jedi ruined everything, doesn't mean that my first impulse would be to "test" another person about what they like or don't like. I'd rather meet someone where they are, and treat them as respectfully as they would treat me.

The only reason I've been vocal about my distaste here or elsewhere online is because for the last twelve years I've been told to shut up and that my opinion isn't allowed or welcome and I'm often met with straight on antagonistic responses, or passive aggressive nods towards disrespect. Just because I don't agree with someone, doesn't automatically mean I hate them as a person. My friends like all kinds of crap that I can't stand, but they're still my friends.

This all or nothing bull has to stop. There's room for everyone.

If she ever approached me, I would silently avoid her (using her photo from her post as reference). The last thing I need in life about now is automatic hostility based on my gender.

That said: folks out there really need to be reintroduced to the rule of live and let live. If someone likes something, what is that to you? As long as they're not trying to cram it down anyone's throat, what's the problem? Must everything be a dire conflict that drains a person until they no longer have the ability to even speak? I honestly think some folks out there now have such a generalized hate of mankind, that they thrive on constantly finding targets to rend and harm. This makes any sort of meaningful discussion (online or otherwise) utterly impossible, as there can no longer be disagreement without vehemence.

It's no longer debate; it instead becomes verbal violence and confrontation.

If we can no longer state our opinions without someone viewing it as an existential threat to the universe at large, then there's not even a point to having an online forum anymore. Everything now is becoming an echo chamber for the like-minded; deathtrap to all dissenters.

That is the death of creativity, and you see it enacted en grosse in Hollywood now.
 
I never behave!!! I even get in trouble with my cat! :lol:
cat's are presumptuous yet highly judgemental. No one can truly meet the expectations of their cat. You get a pass on that one because it is inherently impossible. Psab keel was only expecting some grace with peers but never set the expectation cat-high. At least, I hope not. You can ask my cat, she knows we aren't worthy.
 
Winning the approval of a cat is like being the new girl in a high school clique. You might be accepted, but it's always conditional. ;)
So true it hurts. Yesterday, just outside the back yard, my daughter was trying to tell me something but the cat badly wanted to go inside so was insistant about mewling and pacing. To hear my daughter I had to pick up the cat and go full belly rub to shut down the noise. The cat goes auto shutdown and droops. My daughter says, "You do know, Cat, that I was the one who let you in our house when you wandered on to the property. You could at least show it." The cat looks straight at her and barks, then turns up to me and mews and pushes off. I set her down and she goes to my daughter and climbs up. First time in months. I said, "You asked. Now you do the time. She's all yours."
 
I dont think kids are taught this anymore, the whole internet needs this lesson.

0IKcS.gif
 
Yeah. It would be something to live in a world where we could all get by and thrive by being nice to each other at absolutely all times. Insanely unrealistic and likely beyond boring but hey no ones feelings would get hurt. You've got to take the bad with the good and don't let the bad stop you from thriving.
 
My mother in law passed quite a while back but she was the master at saying the truth kindly. No one tried to pull anything with mom a second time. She could sense manipulation a mile out and would very nicely bring it up in front of witnesses and have that TALK. It was so amazing. Later, after she had passed, I mentioned it to one of the siblings and they said, "Oh ya, didn't you know she worked as a counselor and life coach for drug and alcohol addicts?" I did not. "Oh ya, nothing got past mom, no matter how sweet you tried to make it sound. She always said the sweetness falls off quick enough when the manipulator isn't getting their way. But yet, she was still a huge advocate of saying her part with kindness. Truth with kindness, an artform for sure and mom was a master."
 

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose. ― Garrison Keillor

I really loved this post. Garrison is one of my absolute favorite authors. And his voice was a match made in heaven for live reading his own works. Not so much hype for him these days but I'll just do that right now, here.

 
You know what's a normal, rational response? Addressing another human being with a polite conversation and not assuming the worst about them before talking to them. If your first instinct is to "test" the opposite gender about their film preferences and then dismiss them entirely if they don't align to your personal tastes, then that speaks volumes about how you think of and treat other people as a general rule, and more likely, how you think of the opposite gender, broadly speaking.

That post exemplifies everything wrong with modern fandom by being needlessly antagonistic and judgemental before ever engaging in a real discussion. If she ever approached me (assuming I'd never seen her post) and the topic came up, and she told me Last Jedi was her favorite. I would say, "that's cool." Tell her I'm an OT guy and likely talk about something else. Even learning someone is a fan doesn’t typically prompt my interest enough to discuss the series. I'd much rather talk about other things.

Despite what many fans think, you can have strong opinions about a film, and just because I feel Last Jedi ruined everything, doesn't mean that my first impulse would be to "test" another person about what they like or don't like. I'd rather meet someone where they are, and treat them as respectfully as they would treat me.

The only reason I've been vocal about my distaste here or elsewhere online is because for the last twelve years I've been told to shut up and that my opinion isn't allowed or welcome and I'm often met with straight on antagonistic responses, or passive aggressive nods towards disrespect. Just because I don't agree with someone, doesn't automatically mean I hate them as a person. My friends like all kinds of crap that I can't stand, but they're still my friends.

This all or nothing bull has to stop. There's room for everyone.
I couldn't agree more and as someone who has a larger funny bone than most, i can be easily misunderstood, which i think when it comes to texting and forums we have constantly keep ourselves in check. I know my own hearts intentions but reading others can be tricky, which makes what you said even more necessary. I'm sure many who don't agree with my points of view might get angry every time i crack a joke, in large part because i might come against everything they love...so they take it personally. The main point of what i'm trying to say is, yeah, i don't care if you like the ST...that's great...you all know i don't, or anything else for that matter that Disney is producing but please!...Don't think i don't like you personally because you do. Sometimes i even go out of my way to try to joke with those in a light hearted way who i know normally don't converse with me on here...with barely ever a response in return, and that is my way of giving you an olive branch.

Now forgive me Kylash, only mentioning you because of your post, which i entirely agree with about "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" but that 100% deals with the attitude of the heart behind it. Where this can be tricky is, people are being labeled as hateful or not being nice, simply because they "voice" displeasure with it. Do i need to be corrected at times? Don't we all? Of course, but then to have the response "You're not being nice" thrown in your face , and having that mantra used to keep people silent, only serves for the "offended" to own every narrative of a discussion without pushback and that is not a viable solution. I'm sure some want it that way so they can control everyone else. (I'm not saying you are one of those people). Our biggest war isn't with flesh and blood...it's not with each other. It's the principalities behind what we believe and what we like or dislike that is at odds. Psab, i just love what you said about not assuming the worst in people. In some ways we are all guilty...whether or not some have earned it because they've given enough evidence that, that is who they are. What i have to remember is each one of us is just a moment away of having a change of heart...or coming to the realization that they are wrong.

I will admit...I can go overboard with my constant joking and hammering a point home. To be transparent, it's sort of how i deal with a disease i have that really has me go through periods of depression...and no, it's not trying to put others down to lift myself up...it's simply to laugh. Those of you who know me personally know that i am my worst critic and i beat myself down more than anyone could. I don't have a hateful bone in my body but use passive aggressive language towards me, or try to suppress my freedom to speak or have an opinion, or try to push some wicked agenda that i believe to be harmful, especially against women and children and you most likely will get a sharp response back. With that being said, i still don't hate anyone.

If i have truly hurt someone on here or embarrased someone...It's not in my heart to, but just PM me and let me know what it was and i will do my best to make it right. I want all of us to feel free to talk with each other on here again...even if you think the ST was better than the OT...lol. i'll forgive you...lol. I will do my best not to be overbearing. I do believe we are all better when we strive to point out the beauty of things as opposed to the ugliness...we all need grace, i know i need to give more of it as well.

 
I couldn't agree more and as someone who has a larger funny bone than most, i can be easily misunderstood, which i think when it comes to texting and forums we have constantly keep ourselves in check. I know my own hearts intentions but reading others can be tricky, which makes what you said even more necessary. I'm sure many who don't agree with my points of view might get angry every time i crack a joke, in large part because i might come against everything they love...so they take it personally. The main point of what i'm trying to say is, yeah, i don't care if you like the ST...that's great...you all know i don't, or anything else for that matter that Disney is producing but please!...Don't think i don't like you personally because you do. Sometimes i even go out of my way to try to joke with those in a light hearted way who i know normally don't converse with me on here...with barely ever a response in return, and that is my way of giving you an olive branch.

Now forgive me Kylash, only mentioning you because of your post, which i entirely agree with about "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" but that 100% deals with the attitude of the heart behind it. Where this can be tricky is, people are being labeled as hateful or not being nice, simply because they "voice" displeasure with it. Do i need to be corrected at times? Don't we all? Of course, but then to have the response "You're not being nice" thrown in your face , and having that mantra used to keep people silent, only serves for the "offended" to own every narrative of a discussion without pushback and that is not a viable solution. I'm sure some want it that way so they can control everyone else. (I'm not saying you are one of those people). Our biggest war isn't with flesh and blood...it's not with each other. It's the principalities behind what we believe and what we like or dislike that is at odds. Psab, i just love what you said about not assuming the worst in people. In some ways we are all guilty...whether or not some have earned it because they've given enough evidence that, that is who they are. What i have to remember is each one of us is just a moment away of having a change of heart...or coming to the realization that they are wrong.

I will admit...I can go overboard with my constant joking and hammering a point home. To be transparent, it's sort of how i deal with a disease i have that really has me go through periods of depression...and no, it's not trying to put others down to lift myself up...it's simply to laugh. Those of you who know me personally know that i am my worst critic and i beat myself down more than anyone could. I don't have a hateful bone in my body but use passive aggressive language towards me, or try to suppress my freedom to speak or have an opinion, or try to push some wicked agenda that i believe to be harmful, especially against women and children and you most likely will get a sharp response back. With that being said, i still don't hate anyone.

If i have truly hurt someone on here or embarrased someone...It's not in my heart to, but just PM me and let me know what it was and i will do my best to make it right. I want all of us to feel free to talk with each other on here again...even if you think the ST was better than the OT...lol. i'll forgive you...lol. I will do my best not to be overbearing. I do believe we are all better when we strive to point out the beauty of things as opposed to the ugliness...we all need grace, i know i need to give more of it as well.


Beautifully said, my friend! I think it's great that we can joke around, and make light jabs at the series. In fact I've gotten more enjoyment from making light of (what I believe) to be a bad situation with the Disney material. I know I can get heated about things too, so I'm the first to admit, I'm wrong sometimes. We all are. At the end of the day, we're all fallible. I'm no exception.
 
My mother in law passed quite a while back but she was the master at saying the truth kindly. No one tried to pull anything with mom a second time. She could sense manipulation a mile out and would very nicely bring it up in front of witnesses and have that TALK. It was so amazing. Later, after she had passed, I mentioned it to one of the siblings and they said, "Oh ya, didn't you know she worked as a counselor and life coach for drug and alcohol addicts?" I did not. "Oh ya, nothing got past mom, no matter how sweet you tried to make it sound. She always said the sweetness falls off quick enough when the manipulator isn't getting their way. But yet, she was still a huge advocate of saying her part with kindness. Truth with kindness, an artform for sure and mom was a master."

Truth with kindness as good as it sounds isn't always viable or realistic. Theres nothing wrong with trying to be kind as much as possible though. Strive for the best in ourselves. If we always expect that out of others (especially on the internet) theres going to be a lot of disappointment. Even as individuals no one goes through life having zero rude interactions. Even the best of us have moments. People are flawed, thats part of being human.
 
I couldn't agree more and as someone who has a larger funny bone than most, i can be easily misunderstood, which i think when it comes to texting and forums we have constantly keep ourselves in check. I know my own hearts intentions but reading others can be tricky, which makes what you said even more necessary. I'm sure many who don't agree with my points of view might get angry every time i crack a joke, in large part because i might come against everything they love...so they take it personally. The main point of what i'm trying to say is, yeah, i don't care if you like the ST...that's great...you all know i don't, or anything else for that matter that Disney is producing but please!...Don't think i don't like you personally because you do. Sometimes i even go out of my way to try to joke with those in a light hearted way who i know normally don't converse with me on here...with barely ever a response in return, and that is my way of giving you an olive branch.

Now forgive me Kylash, only mentioning you because of your post, which i entirely agree with about "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" but that 100% deals with the attitude of the heart behind it. Where this can be tricky is, people are being labeled as hateful or not being nice, simply because they "voice" displeasure with it. Do i need to be corrected at times? Don't we all? Of course, but then to have the response "You're not being nice" thrown in your face , and having that mantra used to keep people silent, only serves for the "offended" to own every narrative of a discussion without pushback and that is not a viable solution. I'm sure some want it that way so they can control everyone else. (I'm not saying you are one of those people). Our biggest war isn't with flesh and blood...it's not with each other. It's the principalities behind what we believe and what we like or dislike that is at odds. Psab, i just love what you said about not assuming the worst in people. In some ways we are all guilty...whether or not some have earned it because they've given enough evidence that, that is who they are. What i have to remember is each one of us is just a moment away of having a change of heart...or coming to the realization that they are wrong.

I will admit...I can go overboard with my constant joking and hammering a point home. To be transparent, it's sort of how i deal with a disease i have that really has me go through periods of depression...and no, it's not trying to put others down to lift myself up...it's simply to laugh. Those of you who know me personally know that i am my worst critic and i beat myself down more than anyone could. I don't have a hateful bone in my body but use passive aggressive language towards me, or try to suppress my freedom to speak or have an opinion, or try to push some wicked agenda that i believe to be harmful, especially against women and children and you most likely will get a sharp response back. With that being said, i still don't hate anyone.

If i have truly hurt someone on here or embarrased someone...It's not in my heart to, but just PM me and let me know what it was and i will do my best to make it right. I want all of us to feel free to talk with each other on here again...even if you think the ST was better than the OT...lol. i'll forgive you...lol. I will do my best not to be overbearing. I do believe we are all better when we strive to point out the beauty of things as opposed to the ugliness...we all need grace, i know i need to give more of it as well.

No worries CR; I think by its' nature, the internet is rife with misunderstandings because inflection and d tone are often hard to convey here in typed messages.

Beautifully said, my friend! I think it's great that we can joke around, and make light jabs at the series. In fact I've gotten more enjoyment from making light of (what I believe) to be a bad situation with the Disney material. I know I can get heated about things too, so I'm the first to admit, I'm wrong sometimes. We all are. At the end of the day, we're all fallible. I'm no exception.
I disagree. :rofl:
 
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