Luke is a tool in ROTJ and Chewbacca is buck naked. SW Overthunk.

[thegreatgalling]

So you have seen the great OT thread about Leia's pms and Yoda's food, and another about SW misconceptions. Maybe we tend to overthink SW.

Here are some realizations we perhaps never made:

1. Luke is a tool.

Yes, by ROTJ we learn the film's hero delivers his lines with Jedi grace and about as much charisma as a eunich.

2. Chewbacca is buck naked.

Yes, our favorite 8 foot bipedal pet/friend is au natural except for his bow. I mean why would Han Solo want hairy Wookie butt touching on his seats makes little sense. Yes, maybe he's an oversized dog with a mind, but can we get him some boxers, please?

3. Luke tenderly kisses his sister.

4. Obi Wan is a liar in ANH

From a certain point of view.

5. Chewbacca is stiffed out of a medal at Yavin

Talk about discrimination.

6. Luke falls 18000000 feet in ESB and lives because he landed on a slide.

Holy unrealistic physics Batman.

7. Lando is wearing Han's clothes in the Millenium Falcon (point courtesy of Family Guy)

Um. Why?

Keep em coming!

 

[Wes R]

With luke hitting that slide wouldn't he end up with one hell of a rub burn even through his clothes? I mean when i was little an you weren't' careful your butt got warm on a normal slide through clothes.

For me the entire who shot first thing is kinda out there. Does it really matter? No matter who shot first one of them is a horrid shot considering their 2 feet from each other. Its the space version of the Naked gun joke of hiding behind the trashcans a foot from each other and not being able to get a shot to hit.

 

[Jannix Quinn]

The Lando wearing Han's clothes thing is awesome.

I suppose if you flee from your home with nothing, you have to get a change of clothes somewhere. The rebel fleet probably doesn't have a shopping mall and since Han wasn't going to need them... I guess it makes sense.

 

[robstyle]

whose to say Han's clothes were not originally Lando's? It was his ship before, maybe Han was wearing the potato sack first.

 

[Wes R]

whose to say Han's clothes were not originally Lando's? It was his ship before, maybe Han was wearing the potato sack first.

:lol Han won the ship and Lando's wardrobe.

 

[Vaderman]

I am NOT one of those people who will dress my dogs up in a sweater or Halloween costume. Even if they jump up on the couch.
Just saying.

Obi Wan has the rapid aging disease from the Star Trek episode "The Deadly Years."
He goes from padawan to Master in the prequels and was "too old to begin the training. So, how old was he? 20 years later, he can't remember how to pronounce his "old" name ("...follow old Obi Wann on some idealistic crusade, like your Father did..."
And he's suddenly "too old" to do things and he looks like some old crazy wizard.
He can't remember who Anakin was following off of Tatooine either, apparently, nor the purpose. I guess Jedi training might be some idealistic crusade...
There are threads and threads and websites galore about this stuff.
I mean, if you are hiding him, would you really put Luke back on Tatooine, in the same house with the step-siblings of Anakin and keep him named Skywalker?

Still, I LOVE it!


As MicDavis rightfully points out. It's not that Han shot first, it's that he shot. Greedo.

Also, tell me Han is not a Jedi? Whipping his head out of the way of that blast from 6 feet away? He clearly saw that it was coming in advance, that's an old Jedi trick!

 

[Michael Bergeron]

To be fair Luke had no idea that Leia was his sister... :lol

Good list!

 

[Wes R]

I think luke was written to be a jerk from the start because even when he's talking to the droids while cleaning them up he came off as a little punk.

 

[Michael Bergeron]

I think luke was written to be a jerk from the start because even when he's talking to the droids while cleaning them up he came off as a little punk.

"But I wanted to go to the Toshi station and pick up some power converters!"

Always saw him as a whining little brat that thought he knew everything in SW.

 

[robn1]

To be fair Luke had no idea that Leia was his sister... :lol

Good list!

But Leia knew. Somehow, she always knew. But she planted a liplock on him anyway.

 

[Colin Droidmilk]

"But I wanted to go to the Toshi station and pick up some power converters!"

Always saw him as a whining little brat that thought he knew everything in SW.

Immature, slightly twattish dork is a necessary side of the character and is absolutely right for the story.

 

[division 6]

You know if you actually watched the movies you would see that leia is the one that always does the kissing.

Smooch for luck before singing across an abyss.
You don't know anything about women Han, I'm going to kiss this guy to **** you off.

 

[Vaderman]

Yeah, she felt an instant affection for Luke, not realizing that it was fraternal.
I always thought that was so sweet.

 

[thegreatgalling]

I have two questions about things I always wondered:

1. Doesn't "just you reconsider playing that message for him" kind of sound like C3po DIDN'T want R2 to play the message? Seemed weird to say right after he told R2 that it's was ok to trust Luke.

2. Why does Luke have to go inside when the power gets shut down. Just to see where he's going?

Sorry this thread wasn't in the movie section.

 

[Tony]

To me ROTJ is in the same League Of Suck as the Prequels.

 

[thegreatgalling]

"HEHEHEHEHEHEHE"

-Salacious Crumb, RIP.

 

[robn1]

I have two questions about things I always wondered:

1. Doesn't "just you reconsider playing that message for him" kind of sound like C3po DIDN'T want R2 to play the message? Seemed weird to say right after he told R2 that it's was ok to trust Luke...

No. R2 was withholding the message. By saying "reconsider", 3PO meant R2 should play it.

 

[micdavis]

How do you get from Hoth to Bespin with no lightspeed?

If Hoth is SOOOOOO close to Bespin that they can get there with no lightspeed, how come the Empire couldn't find them?

 

[Satxer]

How do you get from Hoth to Bespin with no lightspeed?

If Hoth is SOOOOOO close to Bespin that they can get there with no lightspeed, how come the Empire couldn't find them?

We could get to the moon without lightspeed, it just takes longer. What is to say that they weren't in space for days, if not weeks? It's not like they were doing this all in a timeframe of 24 hours. Luke training on Dagobah couldn't of been a days worth of doings. Plus, I am sure that the engines the ships in a Galaxy far far away, are a lot better than our stuff.

When the Falcon did its whole landing claw thing, they lost tracking of them, assuming that they jumped to lightspeed. With the Falcon literally on top of the Star Destroyer, it's signals became one. From there, let's say they turned off that little box that gives away a signal, for when they follow "standard Imperial Proceedure" they could float into the trash without being tracked. So, in this crazy world of pretend, things can make some sense if you think outside the box.

 

[robn1]

I like to think that the trip to Bespin/Luke's training part of the film took several weeks, if not months. If the Hoth and Bespin systems were close to each other, it makes it plausible enough. And Luke clearly had more than a day or two of training.

I have no real problems with ANH at all, I consider it a nearly flawless movie. As for TESB, the only problem I have is Leia's laser brain line. Is she saying Han's brain is coherent and precisely focused? What kind of insult is that?