Chevyh0tr0d
Sr Member
1 Word to describe this guy.... Tool... here is a copy of his fb post
"
I have been asked a lot lately, why do I NEED to be in La/California? Though my extended stay in Florida was not wanted, I admit, I do have it good here. I have already made the rounds with my entertainment gigs over the years here, I have my best friend here who was nice enough to rent me a room while I am in town, Pepper is here, Moo is here, I know the area, etc. SO why California?
First the weather, the weather, landscape, and nature things in California are beautiful and I love it. It seems like the weather is perfect there all the time and on and simple drive I can admire the terrain. I always feel the need to just pull over and go exploring or wandering, and I have, both in nature and in the city.
I love LA because everyone is DOING something or TRYING to. Things that are creative and interesting in both arts and entertainment. Paying your bills and potentially being bored with your life/work is simply not acceptable there it seems. It is so over saturated with these things that you need to up your game, skills, be your best, and DO IT if you want to succeed. Naturally being in an atmosphere like that or around people like that, you will feel a need to push it and be better, a boost that sure wouldn't hurt me, I NEED it. I feel that I have not even been there long enough or stayed still there long enough to really take advantage of this feeling. Though I am very happy with what I HAVE done with the circumstances I had to work with there thus far.
Why the borderline obsession and depression over it? Short version, I lived in Florida for 6 years. When I first moved here I lived walking distance to the beach, by a marina, and I loved it. It felt like I was on vacation all the time, I didn't mind the weather when living a kind of beachy life and I had a job that paid very well doing something I enjoyed at the time. Two years after I moved here I bought a house, not close to the beach, so I never went. I lost that feeling, it was just a house with a lot of expenses and ultimately problems and stress. It was all down hill from there and I grew to dislike many things about living here.
I consider most of my real adult life and real experience to have taken place here in Florida, I was very different before I moved down here and I am happy to look back on it, not so much live in it. Out of the 6 years I lived in Florida, I spent 4 years trying to get out of here, convince myself to sell the house and move on. I decided I wanted to move to California during my first trip to LA in 2012. It seemed like everything for me was there and I still believe that, I really remember the weather influencing my decision most. I finally did it in March of 2013 thanks to some support and push in my decisions that I am very grateful for. I was so happy to move on, be there, and ready to put all of my skills, ideas, talents, experience, and aspirations to work. Yes, It has been a bit rocky living there, have not gotten my feet on the ground or whatever I guess, but I wouldn't take anywhere or anything else over it.
Being back in Florida for this extended period, because it was the most sensible decision given the circumstances I was left with in my most recent hiccup in CA, feels like taking a giant step backward. I planned to be here a month and it's almost been 3 as my plan went to **** and things got worse in both personal and professional life at times. Before coming, I feared I would get "comfortable" and get stuck here longer than I wanted and not matter why it's happened, it's happened. I feel like I have failed, because I have. I hate the weather here, I can feel that failure saturate me through the heat and humidity here, leaving me frustrated and disgusted with my failures on most days. I am having a hard time getting out of this mess too, I have trouble gaining momentum or drive when I am feeling down or overwhelmed...so here I am.
Finally this month things are looking up a bit as I set a goal of being back to California for February. I can do anything if I put my mind to it right? ..and stop being and emo ****. This is my internal and personal thing, I am sure living here is great for some, I know it is. Don't get me wrong, there are things I like about Florida, it's those things and people I used to convince myself that I can come here for longer than a weekend for work. I have had my experience and time here but it is not my home. I don't think I have ever literally called a place home but California. So, I hope that answers that.
I hope I can reach my goals for once, 24 days to get up and get out."
here is what I take it to mean(the " " are his words and the words below are what I take it to mean)
"my friend who was kind enough to rent me a room here"
I had no where else to go so had to beg and offer free recast stuff to stay somewhere besides bumming for dollars on hollywood blvd in my crap wolverine cosplay
"why the border line obsession/depression about it"
I am freely admitting to be sad and obsessed that I got kicked out of my place in CA
"Being back in Florida for this extended period, because it was the most sensible decision given the circumstances I was left with in my most recent hiccup in CA, feels like taking a giant step backward"
I had to move back to florida I had no choice I am a narcist who tried to fight my roomate and he booted me out cause I couldn't pay the bills.
"as my plan went to **** and things got worse in both personal and professional life at times"
People found out I am a scammer and started demanding refunds so because I was left hundreds or thousands of dollars in the hole.... I could not pay my bills or take a girl out on a date!!... So I had to go back home where mommy and daddy or my friends who did not know I was a scammer would take care of me!
". I feel like I have failed, because I have. I hate the weather here, I can feel that failure saturate me through the heat and humidity here, leaving me frustrated and disgusted with my failures on most days"
I have failed at making props because people found out I am a scammer and recaster. Yet even though I admit I failed.... I do not thing to try to make up for my mistakes.
"nd stop being and emo ****. This is my internal and personal thing, I am sure living here is great for some, I know it is. Don't get me wrong, there are things I like about Florida, it's those things and people I used to convince myself that I can come here for longer than a weekend for work"
I am a emo little cry baby I am faced with a internal and personal struggle because I have no money so my girlfriend broke up with me and my roomate forced me out cause I could not pay my share of the rent.
"
I have been asked a lot lately, why do I NEED to be in La/California? Though my extended stay in Florida was not wanted, I admit, I do have it good here. I have already made the rounds with my entertainment gigs over the years here, I have my best friend here who was nice enough to rent me a room while I am in town, Pepper is here, Moo is here, I know the area, etc. SO why California?
First the weather, the weather, landscape, and nature things in California are beautiful and I love it. It seems like the weather is perfect there all the time and on and simple drive I can admire the terrain. I always feel the need to just pull over and go exploring or wandering, and I have, both in nature and in the city.
I love LA because everyone is DOING something or TRYING to. Things that are creative and interesting in both arts and entertainment. Paying your bills and potentially being bored with your life/work is simply not acceptable there it seems. It is so over saturated with these things that you need to up your game, skills, be your best, and DO IT if you want to succeed. Naturally being in an atmosphere like that or around people like that, you will feel a need to push it and be better, a boost that sure wouldn't hurt me, I NEED it. I feel that I have not even been there long enough or stayed still there long enough to really take advantage of this feeling. Though I am very happy with what I HAVE done with the circumstances I had to work with there thus far.
Why the borderline obsession and depression over it? Short version, I lived in Florida for 6 years. When I first moved here I lived walking distance to the beach, by a marina, and I loved it. It felt like I was on vacation all the time, I didn't mind the weather when living a kind of beachy life and I had a job that paid very well doing something I enjoyed at the time. Two years after I moved here I bought a house, not close to the beach, so I never went. I lost that feeling, it was just a house with a lot of expenses and ultimately problems and stress. It was all down hill from there and I grew to dislike many things about living here.
I consider most of my real adult life and real experience to have taken place here in Florida, I was very different before I moved down here and I am happy to look back on it, not so much live in it. Out of the 6 years I lived in Florida, I spent 4 years trying to get out of here, convince myself to sell the house and move on. I decided I wanted to move to California during my first trip to LA in 2012. It seemed like everything for me was there and I still believe that, I really remember the weather influencing my decision most. I finally did it in March of 2013 thanks to some support and push in my decisions that I am very grateful for. I was so happy to move on, be there, and ready to put all of my skills, ideas, talents, experience, and aspirations to work. Yes, It has been a bit rocky living there, have not gotten my feet on the ground or whatever I guess, but I wouldn't take anywhere or anything else over it.
Being back in Florida for this extended period, because it was the most sensible decision given the circumstances I was left with in my most recent hiccup in CA, feels like taking a giant step backward. I planned to be here a month and it's almost been 3 as my plan went to **** and things got worse in both personal and professional life at times. Before coming, I feared I would get "comfortable" and get stuck here longer than I wanted and not matter why it's happened, it's happened. I feel like I have failed, because I have. I hate the weather here, I can feel that failure saturate me through the heat and humidity here, leaving me frustrated and disgusted with my failures on most days. I am having a hard time getting out of this mess too, I have trouble gaining momentum or drive when I am feeling down or overwhelmed...so here I am.
Finally this month things are looking up a bit as I set a goal of being back to California for February. I can do anything if I put my mind to it right? ..and stop being and emo ****. This is my internal and personal thing, I am sure living here is great for some, I know it is. Don't get me wrong, there are things I like about Florida, it's those things and people I used to convince myself that I can come here for longer than a weekend for work. I have had my experience and time here but it is not my home. I don't think I have ever literally called a place home but California. So, I hope that answers that.
I hope I can reach my goals for once, 24 days to get up and get out."
here is what I take it to mean(the " " are his words and the words below are what I take it to mean)
"my friend who was kind enough to rent me a room here"
I had no where else to go so had to beg and offer free recast stuff to stay somewhere besides bumming for dollars on hollywood blvd in my crap wolverine cosplay
"why the border line obsession/depression about it"
I am freely admitting to be sad and obsessed that I got kicked out of my place in CA
"Being back in Florida for this extended period, because it was the most sensible decision given the circumstances I was left with in my most recent hiccup in CA, feels like taking a giant step backward"
I had to move back to florida I had no choice I am a narcist who tried to fight my roomate and he booted me out cause I couldn't pay the bills.
"as my plan went to **** and things got worse in both personal and professional life at times"
People found out I am a scammer and started demanding refunds so because I was left hundreds or thousands of dollars in the hole.... I could not pay my bills or take a girl out on a date!!... So I had to go back home where mommy and daddy or my friends who did not know I was a scammer would take care of me!
". I feel like I have failed, because I have. I hate the weather here, I can feel that failure saturate me through the heat and humidity here, leaving me frustrated and disgusted with my failures on most days"
I have failed at making props because people found out I am a scammer and recaster. Yet even though I admit I failed.... I do not thing to try to make up for my mistakes.
"nd stop being and emo ****. This is my internal and personal thing, I am sure living here is great for some, I know it is. Don't get me wrong, there are things I like about Florida, it's those things and people I used to convince myself that I can come here for longer than a weekend for work"
I am a emo little cry baby I am faced with a internal and personal struggle because I have no money so my girlfriend broke up with me and my roomate forced me out cause I could not pay my share of the rent.