I don't really understand this line of reasoning. At the time, to the Doctor, it was all real. At the time, to the audience, it was all real. That's all that matters.
I also believe, as 10 said, they are CHANGING their history, so everything we've seen to this point was the Doctor dealing with the legitimate destruction of Gallifrey. He even says in the special during the big climax that he's seen the people burning and doesn't want to see it again. But if he always saved Gallifrey, how could he have seen it? Unless at one time he actually did it, and he actually saw it.
I was a little disappointed that 11 had forgotten how many children he killed on Gallifrey. Actually kind of disgusted. But, at the same time, this, "I'm so lonely and sad," thing has been DONE TO DEATH. We've had, what, a hundred episodes and three Doctors worth of it? He needs to move on, but 10 was right, how could you POSSIBLY move on from that and still be a decent person? You really can't.
The Doctor has said that he can't go back and fix the Time War because it was time locked and a fixed point. Now he has the opportunity to go back... and we expect him to kill them all again? Really? His biggest regret, the thing that has tortured him for 400 years, and we really expect him to go through with it again?
Yes. I would rather see the doctor come to terms with what he did than decide that he was right to hate himself for all those years. To decide a second and third time that it was what he needed to do would be a doorway to moving past it. And in my opinion he has been moving on already, you say it's been done to death but I feel like it hardly comes up with 11. Which makes sense, he's removed from the event by three lives at that point. I don't think it makes him a bad person, we all have regrets that we try to let go of with time. He's had 400 years to let go.
Also, I don't understand what you mean with the comment about the Master. How does this have anything to do with that? The Time Lords were time locked and they used the Master to break out. In the process they drove him mad. That plot line was resolved in "the End of Time" and doesn't have anything to do with this.
The Master was driven crazy by the High Council, his entire life was basically ruined from childhood. They did it because their oracle was giving prophecies of their destruction. If they were never destroyed the oracle wouldn't have predicted those things and the Master would be sane. I realize that they're changing history but this is such a HUGE change.
I think it will be great to have the opportunity to explore Gallifrey in future episodes but I hate that they decided to go back and change EVERYTHING.
Avery, I'm with you on Moffat having written some brilliant episodes, but some of his more recent ones have been dreadful. 'The wedding of River Song' was utter nonsense. 'The Angels take Manhattan' had a plot hole that you could have parked a planet in. I'm normally able to overlook the Who plot holes, but this one genuinely ruined that episode for me, which is doubly annoying because it should have been a real special send off for the Ponds. Aside from 'Asylum of the Daleks' and 'The name of the Doctor' his recent ones have either been forgettable or hilariously bad.
I completely agree with you on "Angels Take Manhattan". I wasn't even sort of sad at the end of the episode, I was too frustrated by how much sense it didn't make. However, "Asylum of the Dalek" is also on my list of episodes that don't make sense.
I can live with plot holes, I don't think a story exists that doesn't have at least a couple, let alone a story that spans as much time as Doctor Who. A plot hole has to be pretty significant to detract from the story for me and somehow Moffat has done that pretty often lately.