(cracks knuckles)
Okay, the first "chapter" of this film is interesting, in content and in tone. You get a young Han, no family, essentially in servitude to a gang boss. He and Q'ira are desparate to leave, and we are introduced right away to the film's Maguffin - HYPERFUEL™ (LFL 2018). This is what pushes the story along, essentially. It's a heist film, as much as Rogue One was a war film. Watch for the Colin Cantwell original Star Destroyer illustration, in a hologram above the door to an Imperial recruiting station. Han's way off Corellia is by enlisting, after he is separated and forced to abandon Q'ira. Now we have established Han's personal motivations, when we flash forward 3 years to some heavy duty Imperial ground warfare. He wants to become a pilot and get back to Q'ira.
While in this hellscape battle, he runs into Beckett's gang (posing as infantry men to steal equipment) and wants to join them, to get away and desert the Empire. Han is of course a big mouth, brash and reckless, and tries to blackmail Beckett, who sells him out as a deserter to Imperial Command. They decide to "feed him to the beast" and throw him, shackled at the leg to a chain, in a muddy pit. I honestly thought this would be a baby Rancor, but haha it's a super angry and violent Chewbacca. Rad. Chewie is about to kill Han, when Han starts speaking broken Wookese at him, which surprises Chewie. He tells him how they can escape if they team up, and it works. They run to the tarmac where Beckett is stealing a ship, and both he and Chewie are allowed on board, despite Beckett's cohort Val not liking the idea.
From there they do a train heist full of Macguffin to make good on a debt to bigger baddie Dryden Vos, only to have the deal go to hell because of a rival gang's interference. In the melee, Val and Rio Durant (an alien I rather liked from the get go) die, so Beckett is a bit distraught and angry at Han, who didn't follow orders... Beckett/Chewie/Han meet up with Vos, where (surprise!) Q'ira has been spending her time, apparently as Vos' lieutenant. Han keeps shooting off his mouth, and their way of avoiding execution by Vos is to pay him back by stealing UNrefined Macguffin, which is super unstable. The thing is though, they will need a fast ship. Like, CRAZY fast, because the Macguffin is on a planet inside a maelstrom, with a very long and specific way to get in and out to avoid certain death. This is the Kessel Run, kids.
So, they need a fast ship, to steal and transport Macguffin to a processing facility, where they then can appease Vos. Q'ira knows of a fella with one - LANDOOOOOOO.
Okay, so we meet Lando, and Han plays Sabacc to win the ship... only he doesn't win, because Lando is a cheaty cheaterson. But he will fly it for them, as he's a little hard up for cash. I gotta say, their treatment of Lando is fantastic in this film. And L3-37 might be my favorite droid, edging out K-2SO. She's brash, funny, and wants equal rights for droids. She also happens to have mapped the entire known galaxy and can plot hyperspace jumps like no one's business. She's rad. So they successfully infiltrate the mining facility, and L3 hilariously starts a droid rebellion, which is pure cheese Star Wars humor, but not crap Prequel Star Wars humor. Whew, right? Only thing is L3 DIES in the escape/prison riot, and it's pretty upsetting - worse than K2's death in Rogue One. Like - dying, panicked in Lando's distraught arms.
So our heroes beat a retreat into the maelstrom only to encounter an IMPERIAL STAR DESTROYER (with awesome ANH Star Destroyer musical cue) and some TIEs, so Han is like "watch THIS!" and flies them off the safe path, into certain death, because time is also now really running out, as the Macguffins are going to go critical in the time it takes them to get out (22 parsecs). Ties are successfully dealt with, but holy crap space Cthulhu! Now they are being chased by an enormous space creature, but they have the brilliant idea to graft L3's brain into the Falcon itself - which is RAD and happens to be that glowing circle in the cockpit back wall behind Chewie in the OT. Such a lovely touch, and a great way to explain how the Falcon can handle all those complicated hyperspace plots in the films. We also get some humor in the way Chewie becomes co-pilot, and man oh man is that a great scene.
So, they happen upon a massive gravity well as they try desperately to escape Space Cthulhu, and Han jettisons the escape shuttle, much to Lando's increasing "I don't like you Han" feelings. Creature goes after the shuttle bait, and gets slowly sucked into the gravity well, but the Falcon is stuck - they can't escape, only hold their tenuous position. Han's NEW plan is to have Beckett inject a drop of unrefined Macguffin directly into the Falcon's engines, to give them the Fast and Furious NOS effect they will need to escape, and save time. Han angles the Falcon at the "exit", which of course is closing on them, and Beckett manages to inject magic space juice into the carburetor or whatever. The Falcon lurches forward and then (amusingly) sputters and dies, making that whine sound it does every so often. They start getting sucked into the gravity well, A BUNCH OF PLATING IS VIOLENTLY RIPPED OFF, and then suddenly the NOS takes effect and they SHOOT out of the maelstrom like crazy.
They make it to the desolate refinery in time (amusingly according to Han in 12 parsecs, which Chewie comments on, and Han counters with "it's 12 when you round down!" lolz) and OH NO the rival gang is there! Lando, still in the very badly damaged Falcon, leaves them high and dry. Rival gang leader takes the cool helmet off and it's like a 14 year old girl! And every one else is an alien! They say they need the Macguffin not for avarice, but because they are a band of disparate peoples that have been subjugated by the Empire and are forming a REBELLION (hey guess what THAT becomes you guys!). They start talking and decide to throw in to their cause and betray Vos, Beckett is like "nah dude, I'm out" and leaves, Vos shows up, and things of course go south as Beckett has double crossed Han to Vos. This scene ends with Q'ira killing Vos, and then saying "I'll catch up with you in a sec" to Han, who goes back to the refinery area, off of Vos' ship. Q'ira now alone, calls her true gangboss master via hologram... it's Darth Maul, hand to god.
On the planet's surface, Beckett tries to kill Han, HAN SHOOTS FIRST YOU GUYS (haha), and sadly watches Q'ira leave in the ship. Han and Chewie let the proto-Rebellion take the Macguffin, essentially giving them the seed money to form the rebel alliance you guys!! He's asked to join and is all "nah guys, I'm a scoundrel!" and he and Chewie are left to their own devices, with one vial of Macguffin juice to maybe buy a ship or something.
Cut to - some lush planet where we see Lando playing Sabacc and again holding court. Upon seeing Han, he gets up and is all "HEY BUDDY!" and Han sees the Sabacc cheat card in Lando's sleeve. Han is like "HEY PAL!" and they hug just like on Bespin, so that Han can take the card without Lando knowing. Han is like "I want a rematch, I want the Falcon" and Lando is like "haha whatever you say!" and they play... of course Lando loses, and Han gets his ship!
TA DAAAAAH. I liked it.