I finally watched Kull The Conqueror

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VonMagnum

Sr Member
I finally watched this movie last night with Kevin Sorbo (I forgot it even existed for many years). I always thought his Hercules was kind of kitschy, not having the slightest bit of Greek feel to it and sadly that's exactly what he brings to Kull as well. Kull is supposed to be a barbarian, but Kevin playing Kull makes him feel more like a time traveler from Hollywood who can't act going through the motions. Hey, that's exactly what it is. It's kind of sad because even so it STILL could have been a much better movie if they had taken it seriously without all the goofy cornball dialog (copying Darth Vader's line at one point even?) and the heavy metal electric guitars that have no place in a sword and sorcerer movie (I mean there is no electricity so how the heck can there be electric guitars? That was a point that almost ruined the original Conan movies as well as morons in the industry thought they should have modern rock music and fortunately saner heads prevailed as Basil Poledouris' soundtracks are now legendary). All the actors felt like TV show leftovers from Hercules and Xena hamming it up and the scene in the ice cave felt somewhat like a ripoff of Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger. I kept expecting the golden minotaur to show up. Karina Lombard was probably the best actor in the entire movie. Someone must have forgotten to tell her this movie wasn't supposed to be serious. As such, she felt out of place like you know, she belonged in a real movie. While I enjoyed Tia Carrere with red hair, she felt like she just stepped out of True Lies or something rather than being a sorceress that's supposed to be thousands of years old. She wants a kiss as a demon? Preposterous. The only way to really enjoy the movie is to play brain dead and pretend it's a better movie.

This was originally going to be a Conan movie in the late 1980s, but apparently conflicts with Arnold making Predator ended up canceling it. As it was made, I don't think it would have furthered Arnold's career or the Conan franchise in general. I mean this movie makes Red Sonja look damn good by comparison and it already kind of paled compared to the two Conan movies or The Beastmaster. I can't say I'm not a bit disappointed, but given Kevin's acting on TV shows, I can't say I was shocked either. This was closer to Deathstalker, but at least what Deathstalker lacked in acting, it made up for in well done orgy scenes and sadly, even the acting in Deathstalker was a few steps up from this one. I guess the movie almost works as a comedy, however as it was so bad at points (the Darth Vader line), it was kind of funny at least and seeing Tia and Karina scantily clad at least kept me from being totally bored. It just seems like a waste as I think there's a real market for quality sword and sorcerer movies as the TV show Game of Thrones demonstrated. I guess I should be happy the original Conan The Barbarian turned out as well as it did (I still haven't watched the remake and having heard reviews, think perhaps I shouldn't).
 

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