Carcharodon
New Member
The Brothers Strause would have been better off going over to Ridley Scott's house, knocking on the door and when he answers, punching him in the face, before heading off to give James Cameron a right good kicking as well; because that certainly would have been less of an insult to those 2 great directors and the legacy they built, than this unholy piece of crap! And I thought the first AVP was bad, but at least Paul W.S. Anderson tried to get the basics of film making right, which is more the can be said of the bros attempt. Even from the opening scenes you can tell half the film was left on the cutting room floor. For example, we see the Pred ship carrying Scar, disappearing off past the moon, the Predalien birthing from his chest and then a couple of scenes later we're now on what appears to be a different Pred ship, back orbiting the earth, with the Predalien that's grown faster than a hard-on in a porn theatre. What happened to missing scenes? Film over long at 90 minutes was it?
Then we have the Predators, those highly advanced alien hunters, who have mastered space travel and the art of bending light, acting like a bunch of intergalactic red necks. There's Mr. I can't shoot for ****, even with a laser targeting system, take out his own ship, stupid-ass Pred. Then we have Wolfy boy, who's already had half his face burned off from his last alien encounter, believing he can single handily take care of an alien outbreak on earth. Well I don't care how bad-ass he's suppose to be, his missions is more kamikaze than clean up. Also, for a Pred who's so concerned about humans finding out about Xenomorph's, his species and their technology, he seems to care little about leaving his skinned human victim hanging from a tree or running around town uncloaked for everyone with a camera phone and a flashlight to gork at.
Then we have human characters (for what their worth) who feel like they were made in McDonald's, because that's exactly what they are, "fast food!" Here's so and so, but we don't need to know their name or hear them speak more than 2 words, because they're going to be alien food in 10 seconds. Even the characters that do last for more than 5 mins are walking stereotypes, blurting out cringe-worthy dialogue like "Get to the chopper!" Someone really needs to tell the bros that's its better to pay homage to something subtly, as appose to mindlessly ripping off entire scenes and lines from previous films, which rather than making me feel nostalgic, only succeeded in reminding me how bad this film is by comparison. It should also be pointed out to the bros (preferably with a big sharp stick in hand and a glint of murder in the eyes) that what made the first couple of Alien films and the first Pred film great; is the atmosphere, tension and human story of which AVP-R has none. The whole movie is just a random bunch of crap, thrown together with no structure or meaning above mindless mayhem.
Ok, I know there's you guys who will read this and think; "it's an AVP film for ****** sake!" "It's not meant to be about story line or human characters!" "It's meant to be about Aliens and Preds kicking the hell out of each other!" And I must admit, if this film was full of great Pred and Alien battles then I might have forgiven its dum-ass, but even though there are attempts at some balls to wall P and A action, you would have needed to have been the Pred to see what the hell was going on. What's the problem? Didn't the bros have enough left of the $40m budget to pay the light bill? Even when we do get some illumination, its super close-up and fast edit time, which instead of making the scenes intense (which is obviously the bros intentions) just left me more frustrated and confused. It was like the whole movie was designed to pay homage to the train scene from Predator 2.
The only thing in AVP-R that gave me any semblance of being entertained, was the way Wolf moved and looked, which really captured the spirit of the Preds from the first 2 Pred films. So hats off there to Ian Whyte and ADI for getting it right the second time of asking. Although I must say, as much as I love Stan Winston's work, I never liked the changes that he and Cameron made to the alien, because they just ended up looking fake and imo ADI and the bros have made the same mistake here.
All I pray now is Fox don't make a 3rd. And Please! Please! Please! Never let the brothers Strause or should that be the brothers dim? Direct anything ever again! That way I'll die a happy man, but knowing Fox their already onboard for the next big con, I mean film, to get young dum teens to part with their pocket money. I'm just glad I didn't have to pay to watch this ****!
Then we have the Predators, those highly advanced alien hunters, who have mastered space travel and the art of bending light, acting like a bunch of intergalactic red necks. There's Mr. I can't shoot for ****, even with a laser targeting system, take out his own ship, stupid-ass Pred. Then we have Wolfy boy, who's already had half his face burned off from his last alien encounter, believing he can single handily take care of an alien outbreak on earth. Well I don't care how bad-ass he's suppose to be, his missions is more kamikaze than clean up. Also, for a Pred who's so concerned about humans finding out about Xenomorph's, his species and their technology, he seems to care little about leaving his skinned human victim hanging from a tree or running around town uncloaked for everyone with a camera phone and a flashlight to gork at.
Then we have human characters (for what their worth) who feel like they were made in McDonald's, because that's exactly what they are, "fast food!" Here's so and so, but we don't need to know their name or hear them speak more than 2 words, because they're going to be alien food in 10 seconds. Even the characters that do last for more than 5 mins are walking stereotypes, blurting out cringe-worthy dialogue like "Get to the chopper!" Someone really needs to tell the bros that's its better to pay homage to something subtly, as appose to mindlessly ripping off entire scenes and lines from previous films, which rather than making me feel nostalgic, only succeeded in reminding me how bad this film is by comparison. It should also be pointed out to the bros (preferably with a big sharp stick in hand and a glint of murder in the eyes) that what made the first couple of Alien films and the first Pred film great; is the atmosphere, tension and human story of which AVP-R has none. The whole movie is just a random bunch of crap, thrown together with no structure or meaning above mindless mayhem.
Ok, I know there's you guys who will read this and think; "it's an AVP film for ****** sake!" "It's not meant to be about story line or human characters!" "It's meant to be about Aliens and Preds kicking the hell out of each other!" And I must admit, if this film was full of great Pred and Alien battles then I might have forgiven its dum-ass, but even though there are attempts at some balls to wall P and A action, you would have needed to have been the Pred to see what the hell was going on. What's the problem? Didn't the bros have enough left of the $40m budget to pay the light bill? Even when we do get some illumination, its super close-up and fast edit time, which instead of making the scenes intense (which is obviously the bros intentions) just left me more frustrated and confused. It was like the whole movie was designed to pay homage to the train scene from Predator 2.
The only thing in AVP-R that gave me any semblance of being entertained, was the way Wolf moved and looked, which really captured the spirit of the Preds from the first 2 Pred films. So hats off there to Ian Whyte and ADI for getting it right the second time of asking. Although I must say, as much as I love Stan Winston's work, I never liked the changes that he and Cameron made to the alien, because they just ended up looking fake and imo ADI and the bros have made the same mistake here.
All I pray now is Fox don't make a 3rd. And Please! Please! Please! Never let the brothers Strause or should that be the brothers dim? Direct anything ever again! That way I'll die a happy man, but knowing Fox their already onboard for the next big con, I mean film, to get young dum teens to part with their pocket money. I'm just glad I didn't have to pay to watch this ****!
