Things you're tired of seeing in movies

[SofaKing01]

How about the way cars never have windshield mounted rearview mirrors? Or that the person in the back seat sits in the exact middle? Or that light conveniently mounted just below dashboard level so everyone's face is well lit?

LOL - and the driver jerking the wheel back in forth left and right that if in real life would have sent the car skidding off road into a creek... which of course would end in a firey explosion of death and utter chaos! And of course the clip of the explosion is from a movie 20-30 years old and never matches the current movies actual scenary... I love quality editing!

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...Frankly, I always took this plot line to support why the parents are so tough on suitors and how indoctrinated the daughter is by the evil parents.

Frankly, I've always wanted to see a movie like that where the boyfriend shows up, sees exactly this, and realizes he's better than this and shouldn't have tolerate such a relationship because it won't get any better once they're married. Accordingly, he dumps her, then the woman realizes what a pain she's been all along and the whole thing is then flipped where she's trying to get him back.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but that movie has never been made, but should!

NOW THAT'S the way it should have been!

 

[Solo4114]

I understand the basic recipe for some comedies but Meet the Fockers REALLY bothered me to the point of truly loathing this film. Here you have a guy whose marrying a woman who introduces him to her father/family, who she knows has been a bit tough on her past boyfriends, and even though she has agreed to marry him, she still, despite everything to include saying yes to marriage and establishing a very clear relationship prior to meeting the parents, takes sides with her family?

UGH...

Frankly, I always took this plot line to support why the parents are so tough on suitors and how indoctrinated the daughter is by the evil parents.
Frankly, I've always wanted to see a movie like that where the boyfriend shows up, sees exactly this, and realizes he's better than this and shouldn't have tolerate such a relationship because it won't get any better once they're married. Accordingly, he dumps her, then the woman realizes what a pain she's been all along and the whole thing is then flipped where she's trying to get him back.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but that movie has never been made, but should!

Well, Meet the Parents sort of has that. Focker leaves towards the end of things because he's fed up with being treated like dirt. But admittedly, the entire movie wouldn't happen if you got the sense that the daughter actually loved her fiance enough to say "Back off, Dad!" I too find that movie really unpleasant to watch, though. Actually, that's true of several Ben Stiller films where he just seems to be the butt of the joke (e.g. There's Something About Mary). I don't enjoy watching comedies where the protagonist is basically just crapped on for 3/4 of the film and just...takes it.

The thing about Meet the Parents, though, is that it's ultimately not the girlfriend who brings Focker back, but rather her obnoxious dad apologizing, when, if anyone, I'd want an apology from my girlfriend for not sticking up for me while her dad was being obnoxious in the first place. Your dad's a jerk? Eh, I can handle that. Or I'll just leave. But you LET him be a jerk to me and don't say a thing in my defense? That's the kind of thing that'll make me question the relationship itself.

Dramatic countdowns of bomb detonators.

There's 20 seconds left on the detonator, but the film time showing shots of the characters either running or driving away, having dialogue between each other, flashback to the detonator, back to the characters still fleeing, avoiding obstacle to reach safety, takes about 35-40 seconds on screen before the thing actually explodes.

Goldfinger is one of the worst with this.

Actually, there's an MST3K episode where Tom Servo does a bit where he counts down from the counter, and has to keep revising his count as they cut back and the counter's barely moved. I think it's the episode Time Chasers.

 

[Solos blaster]

I understand the basic recipe for some comedies but Meet the Fockers REALLY bothered me to the point of truly loathing this film. Here you have a guy whose marrying a woman who introduces him to her father/family, who she knows has been a bit tough on her past boyfriends, and even though she has agreed to marry him, she still, despite everything to include saying yes to marriage and establishing a very clear relationship prior to meeting the parents, takes sides with her family?

UGH...

Frankly, I always took this plot line to support why the parents are so tough on suitors and how indoctrinated the daughter is by the evil parents.
Frankly, I've always wanted to see a movie like that where the boyfriend shows up, sees exactly this, and realizes he's better than this and shouldn't have tolerate such a relationship because it won't get any better once they're married. Accordingly, he dumps her, then the woman realizes what a pain she's been all along and the whole thing is then flipped where she's trying to get him back.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but that movie has never been made, but should!

Along those same lines of "relationships" in Rom-coms...

40 days and 40 nights, I can't stand how much crap the main character takes when the love interest finds out about his abstinence "quest" and she's offended he didn't tell her. F you lady! We just met and this is our FIRST date. Are you that much of a ***** you're offended by this?! Then at the end when the ex GF sleeps with him(out of spite and to win the bet),while he was handcuffed to the bed and she's gets all pissy about it as if he cheated on her...F you again, he was just raped! Dude, call the cops too!! and then he spends the last x min of the movie trying to win HER back?! Get over yourself.

 

[Treadwell]

Dramatic countdowns of bomb detonators.

A movie is not a real-time historical document. Editing plays with time on purpose.

 

[hamsalad]

Shakeycam. Must be a real market for cameramen with palsy right now.

Bad lighting done on purpose.

Black costumes on a black set...at night.

Stories that involve the 3 fatal literary cliche's .

Stories where everyone dies, or that are otherwise rendered pointless.

Stories were there are no characters with any redeeming qualities whatsoever. If everyone's a jerk, who do you care about?

Stories where the characters are supposed to be educated professionals; but act like particularly immature teenagers, and show obvious ignorance of the fundamentals of their professions.

TV series where there is no continuity, and/or episodes contradict eachother.

(from my wife): 19 year old blondes with doctorates. Yeah, right.

Action movies set in countries with incredibly strict gun control....yet the characters have no problem securing top quality military grade ordnance.

No one in the film notices this or comments on it, either. In fact, characters from this country can pick up such weapons, and use them effectively with no instruction.

SF movies set in the future (sometimes hundreds of years) and they use 20th century firearms. This is like a jet pilot carrying a flintlock.

JJ abrams.

Movies which were obviously shot against a green screen.

Characters that can accomplish time consuming tasks while falling.

Spacecraft that use chemical rocket motors in deep space. How did they get there?

Spacecraft with machine guns/cannon on them.

Use of modern idiom in the distant past or far future; especially use of idiom that has a definite time period associated with it that is not the time period of the setting.

Use of swearing and or obscenity constantly by people who should know better. Use of same in historical periods where such was not used (my dad and father in law both fought in world war 2: they say it didn't happen, and I believe them because they were there).

Clean cut, recently shaven and barbered soldiers with clean uniforms after being in the field for days, weeks, months.....

 

[Solo4114]

A movie is not a real-time historical document. Editing plays with time on purpose.

Eh, I gotta call bogus on that. You show a ticking timer counting down and then show two dudes duking it out for a minute and a half, then cut back to the timer and show that two seconds have passed...that's just crappy editing. It's not like "All that fighting took place in the span of two seconds!!! Amazing!!!" Maybe if they did some slow-mo thing while that's happening, the implication would be that these guys are doing this all very quickly while time ticks down. And it's not like they're cutting away to other people doing something else which you could argue was happening simultaneously. No, it's just Bond and Oddjob fighting while the timer runs.

 

[Treadwell]

Yet no one cares when time is COMPRESSED.
Whatever works better visually and dramatically for storytelling, you do that, no matter what the clock says.

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It's like complaining you can see two different perspectives in a painting. It's art, not science.

 

[hamsalad]

Oh, women with incredibly self centered, dishonest, bad behavior in romantic comedies and no one calls them on it.

Spacecraft with no FTL drive that somehow visit different planets. What?

The bat durston Syndrome.

(in war movies) use of tanks / military vehicles from the wrong time period, and no attempt is made to disguise this.

Did I mention JJ abrams?

Movies 'based' on a well known toy or game..and by game I mean 'pre computer board game' like monopoly or battleship.

JJ abrams.

 

[gunnerk19]

Scenes where a person is hanging from a cliff/building/bridge/etc. by their fingers, and someone is trying to grab them before they let go and fall to their death. The rescuer can barely make fingertip contact throughout the entire attempt, but when the hanging person lets go the hero above can miraculously reach another foot or so enough just in time to grab the victim's wrist and pull them to safety.

 

[mattycsi]

Scenes where a person is hanging from a cliff/building/bridge/etc. by their fingers, and someone is trying to grab them before they let go and fall to their death. The rescuer can barely make fingertip contact throughout the entire attempt, but when the hanging person lets go the hero above can miraculously reach another foot or so enough just in time to grab the victim's wrist and pull them to safety.

I particularly hate that when the hero is hanging on themself and when the miraculously grab the other 200lb guy they have no problem holding their weight as well as their own, usually with very little extra strain.

 

[Riceball]

Action movies set in countries with incredibly strict gun control....yet the characters have no problem securing top quality military grade ordinance.
No one in the film notices this or comments on it, either. In fact, characters form this country can pick up such weapons and use them effectively with no instruction, too.

Yeah, don't hate it when you see that all military grade paperwork being used, it brings me out of the scene every time. Sorry, couldn't help myself. The word you're looking for is ordnance without the I, ordinance is basically paperwork like laws and regulations.

 

[Solo4114]

Yet no one cares when time is COMPRESSED.
Whatever works better visually and dramatically for storytelling, you do that, no matter what the clock says.

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It's like complaining you can see two different perspectives in a painting. It's art, not science.

If time is compressed, presumably it's still obeying the constraints of time. People complain about this stuff when it breaks the illusion. If it doesn't break the illusion, it's not a problem. But something like a timer saying "10 seconds" and taking 30 seconds for 10 seconds to pass, along with periodic check-ins on the timer, that's just breaking the illusion.

I'm not saying you can't play with time. You absolutely can. But you can't flagrantly disregard time. And for compressed time, that's true, too. Like, a time compression (e.g. musical montage) that suggests that 3 months-worth of reseach was conducted in one particularly long overnight session...yeah, that'll be bogus and audiences will be right to call you on it. Not because you compressed time, but because you compressed it in an unrealistic way.

The issue isn't that they took 3 minutes to play a song and show a montage of the previously untrained dude working with his sensei; the issue is that after those three minutes are up, we're expected to believe that he's suddenly capable of taking on a master practitioner of the deadly arts of [insert made up martial art here]. Unless the compression suggested that, oh, several years passed (e.g. Conan the boy was pushing the big wheel, and now he's Conan the MAN who is built like Ahnold!), the issue isn't so much time as it is time relative to the outcome.

 

[hamsalad]

Yeah, don't hate it when you see that all military grade paperwork being used, it brings me out of the scene every time. Sorry, couldn't help myself. The word you're looking for is ordnance without the I, ordinance is basically paperwork like laws and regulations.

You left out my other typo, where I spelled 'from' as 'form'. Odd.

 

[Riceball]

You left out my other typo, where I spelled 'from' as 'form'. Odd.

I obviously missed that one, doesn't matter though, I can't figure out how to make a joke out of it.

 

[hamsalad]

I obviously missed that one, doesn't matter though, I can't figure out how to make a joke out of it.

Oh, come on!


" yeah, don't you hate it when , after all that inapproprate military paperwork, you see them fill out the wrong form?"

And what's with JJ abrams?

 

[robn1]

Sigh. I'm just tired of movies.

 

[NormanF]

People enter a room and they are pretty sure there is a secret door. They find how to open it in under a minute even though professionals have searched before and never found it.

 

[NormanF]

Here's another one I just saw. Heroes trap the bad guy or monster and are about to kill him. Instead, they hesitate for whatever reason and the bad guy is able to escape and/or kill someone in the group.

 

[Solos blaster]

I particularly hate that when the hero is hanging on themself and when the miraculously grab the other 200lb guy they have no problem holding their weight as well as their own, usually with very little extra strain.

Yes, especially the scene in Batman begins when Bale lifts all of Liam Neeson with one bicep....oh hell no!

 

[Solo4114]

Yes, especially the scene in Batman begins when Bale lifts all of Liam Neeson with one bicep....oh hell no!

Actually, that'd involve the pectorals, deltoids, lats, and a good bit of core and forearm strength, too.

But yeah, the one-armed lift of a probably ~200lb man in body armor...it's an eensy bit unbelievable.

Doesn't break the moment for me, though. It's more one of those things you think of after the fact, like "Why the hell did Luke shoot the only controls that would extend the bridge in the Death Star? For that matter, why does the Death Star have huge chasms that require railingless extendable bridges to traverse?!" But I guess the Emperor abolished OSHA.