Nice threAD.
"I'm looking for this item. I've always liked it and wanted one. If only I knew of a place that had one...
Wait... I KNOW! I just happen to have one in stock in my own store!
What's more is that I have MORE THAN ONE, so if you want one, you can buy it too!
Act now within the next hour and we'll throw in this one-of-a-kind that nobody will ever have a use for ABSOLUTELY FREE with every order!
Don't delay! Act now! Get them before they sell out!"
...or some such nonsense.