Nowadays I get thanked for my service.
I don't need thanks. Thank the guys who didn't come home, or came home but left something behind. Thank the families who lost their husband, dad, or their son.
Maybe, oh, 10 years ago, in the wake of guys coming home from Iraq, there was this youtube video that started making the rounds about this weird hand gesture you could do to basically say "Thank you for your service." I think they called it the "Eagle Salute" or somesuch. Three things stuck out to me about this.
1. If the vet or serviceperson had no idea about this "salute" even existing, he'd probably just think you're a weirdo and ignore you or maybe nod in a "Uh....back at ya" manner and keep moving.
2. I couldn't understand why a physical gesture was needed but words were somehow inappropriate. I think the theory was that you could use the gesture if you got the sense the vet didn't want to be bothered or interrupted, but you still wanted to say something. Which brings me to my third point.
3. It always struck me as a fundamentally selfish thing. Like, oh, you just
had to go and say something to this person. You couldn't maybe read the situation and decide "Nah, I'll let 'em be," or "They seem friendly. I'll just go up and say thanks." But in either case, it always seemed to me like the whole gesture was about making
yourself feel good for having said or done something, when the vet may not even really care that much. In a way, it's almost imposing upon this person and their time for you to interrupt whatever they're doing just so you can make sure they know you appreciate their service. And if talking to the person is somehow intrusive, why is it any
better to do some weird gesture? It's still all about you and virtue signaling, rather than about the vet.
I don't know what vets need on a general basis, but I'm gonna guess it starts with being treated like regular people, while being aware of and --
when appropriate -- acknowledging their service. It probably doesn't involve you going out of your way to stop them in the airport just so you can let them know that you're a good person who appreciates military service.
I dunno. That's probably an overstatement of the whole thing, but it still just never sat right with me. It's kind of like approaching a celebrity and interrupting whatever they're doing just so you can tell them you loved them in blah blah blah, except unlike a celebrity who has chosen a life in the public eye, you're doing it to someone who didn't ask to be in the public eye at all.
Anyway, on a totally unrelated note, for those who are interested, here are four novels about and/or set in/after the Vietnam War, all written by vets:
- "If I Die in a Combat Zone, Box Me Up and Ship Me Home" by Tim O'Brien. This one is an autobiography written about O'Brien's experiences in Vietnam, written in 1973.
- "The Things they Carried" also by O'Brien. This one is more semi-autobiographical, and mixes fiction with elements from O'Brien's service. It's actually a collection of short stories all loosely connected to each other.
- "Paco's Story," by Larry Heinemann. This one is set largely after the war, with the title character trying to adapt to life back home, and to move on from the war.
- "The Short Timers," by Gustav Hasford. This is the novel from which
Full Metal Jacket was developed. It's a good bit more absurd, as well as more gruesome and cruel in places than the movie. It also is a bit longer. Fun fact: Hasford was a war correspondent who served alongside Capt. Dale Dye, who appears as a character in the book (Daddy D.A., although the character was played by a black actor -- Keith Hodiak -- in the film).
All are great reads. O'Brien's work is probably the most approachable, but the others are good too.