Honestly, did you actually type that with a straight face?
Yes, it's art and about interpretation and all that. But I gotta say, going cold into TLJ, I was literally open to pretty much anything (yes, I would be proven wrong about that), as long as they didn't mess with my beloved Ben.
Where hath my bombastic, troubled boy gone. The vulnerable young man so insecure that he - with so much power at his disposal - actually recoiled when his own father got too close to him. My confused lad with the sensitive soul, who, giving his father every opportunity to pass his final exam - after so many years apart - received only dismissive comments, awkward attempts to reach out emotionally, and the final failure - that of refusing to throw Ben's iconic symbol of corruption - his saber - into the abyss below, and give his emotionally disturbed son the hug he has so desperately needed for so long.
For 2 years I KNEW Ben Solo. Easily my favorite Star Wars character ever, possessing all of the the complexity, relatability, and vulnerability of a proper villain. I cried at the catwalk scene the first four times I saw it; not for Han, but for this young man, brimming with internal turmoil. I mean, I loved this character in an almost unhealthy way.
And now...the humiliation at the hands of Snoke leading to the first step off the deep end...okay, I can live with the idea, even if the scene was ham-fisted, rushed, and unconvincing. I really thought when he jumped in his ship - okay, now we're getting somewhere, even though I'd like to see a bit more of that passion - and arrives at, Leia...mom...a major turning point, surely? You could feel his inner conflict in TFA as he watched the SKB plasma blast tear through the sky from the bridge, likely wondering what his mother's fate was. And now, with the memory of his father surely a cross to bear despite the weight of Kylo Ren attempting to crush it, he faces a similar life-changing dilemma with his mother...
My Ben died right after this, though only because I was merely hoping against hope with this sh*tshow to this point. His moment of hesitation - and the subsequent firing upon her ship by his wingmen - carried all the emotional weight of...something that carries no emotional weight. Damn did this movie turn south right here. Damn Damn. Damn.
And do we know if Ben knows that Leia is still alive? Sure, he should "sense" it, but is that something he would have to "reach out" to do? Or has he just shut it all down as part of his "killing the past" or whatever his philosophy is now? God, the narrative with his mother could have been special, and was handled so poorly. Anyway, If I'm forced to acknowledge this movie's existence at certain times, that's how I'm spinning Ben at this point - that beginning with his father's death, being humiliated by Rey in the saber battle in TFA, the further humiliation he endures from Snoke, and culminating in the moment with Leia, he has walls up to the point where he is emotionally dead, and it's made him cold to the point where he's sent the pain so far below, he's literally a different person, with no emotional resonance. And I hate it.
I just want my Ben back. JJ, please make it so.