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Re: The definition of 'TOO MANY PROJECTS' build thread - Now with 50% more too many's

Unfortunately the 45 day window to file a dispute through Paypal is waaay over. Considering suits can take weeks to sew (or 3 hours--her words) and prepare, I was giving the benefit of the doubt. I don't mind waiting for a completed suit even if it is late, however I would like a smidgen of communication or at least a refund if she hasn't worked on it at all. Apparently someone is filing mail fraud against her now and another girl is going to be taking legal action as Dagnie hasn't responded to her in over 2 months. Yikes! I'd prefer to just get a refund from her but she won't even talk to anyone and I'd rather not get her in legal trouble as she's just a college kid. I'm an attorney so I know a few avenues to take but I'd prefer to not take them.
 
Re: The definition of 'TOO MANY PROJECTS' build thread - Now with 50% more too many's

You're probably dealing with this better than I would have. I'm not very patient when I'm stuck in these situations. I hope you get your money back or some sort of resolution soon.
 
Re: The definition of 'TOO MANY PROJECTS' build thread - Now with 50% more too many's

Thanks! Me too, naturally. There's a ton of other angry people and I'm not trying to freak her out, being yelled at is no fun. I just wish I could get a response!
 
Re: The definition of 'TOO MANY PROJECTS' build thread - Now with 50% more too many's

Still nothing from her. Some people are beginning small claims suits against her now.
 
Re: The definition of 'TOO MANY PROJECTS' build thread - Now with 50% more too many's

As I understand it, PayPal has expanded their window past 45 days. And even beyond then, they can and do make exceptions to protect buyers.

Dagnie's been nothing but kind and helpful, from all I know of her. I hope she cleans this up. She's been great people.
 
Re: The definition of 'TOO MANY PROJECTS' build thread - Now with 50% more too many's

Kix said:
As I understand it, PayPal has expanded their window past 45 days. And even beyond then, they can and do make exceptions to protect buyers.

Dagnie's been nothing but kind and helpful, from all I know of her. I hope she cleans this up. She's been great people.
Click to expand...

They expanded it to 180 days...for purchases made on November 18 or later. Sadly my commission was prior to that and thus the 45 day window applies. I know! Things were going great and then nothing. It's really sad how things turned out. For all I know she's basically taken my money and ran at this point. Now there's 6-7 people (at least that are vocal about it) that have not received their orders despite being told they were ready to ship months ago, or haven't heard any status in 1-2 months regarding their orders.
 
Re: The definition of 'TOO MANY PROJECTS' build thread - Now with 50% more too many's

I just want a refund back at this point. It's been 2.5 months since I commissioned the costume and 44 days since I've gotten a reply. If anyone can contact her, let me know.
 
Re: The definition of 'TOO MANY PROJECTS' build thread - Now with 50% more too many's

According to a resale site, someone got some work from her! Maybe fulfillment is happening again, after-all.
 
Re: The definition of 'TOO MANY PROJECTS' build thread - Now with 50% more too many's

Not a day passes where I don't feel regret and guilt for what happened. And not a day goes by where I don't think of what could have been.
Never did I set out to try and take money, suits, or anything from people. Never did I try to hurt those I cared about.

I was on a quick rise to success and I couldn't keep up. So once I stumbled and fell, I fell hard. And I spiraled down further, and further. It's taken me four years to gather the courage to face everyone here and say how horribly and deeply sorry I am for everything that happened. I couldn't keep up with the orders - I was one person who had never managed a business before and didn't know how quickly the water was rising. So when everything began to fall apart and people began requesting refunds after fabric had been ordered or work had been done, I panicked. I began drowning and couldn't figure out how to make everything just stop. Past desperately trying to refund people without having the money to give the full amounts, trying to get fabric or sewn suits returned in any way I could, finding myself with hundreds of dollars owed to the bank after refunding until my account was in negatives and still being unable to return to everyone what I owed...

It hit me hard, knowing how many people I had upset, disappointed, or inadvertently ripped off when that was never my intent.

I only ever wanted to create - Create for other people. But once I tripped up, I became terrified. I shut down. I stopped caring about myself or anyone else around me, instead shutting myself away and using sleeping pills to try and escape the disaster I had caused. I hid, lost friends, lost the ability to use my own name without fear, lost the things I cared about most, and disappointed all of you. It got to the point where I actually attempted to commit suicide, because I couldn't face what I had done.

Even now, I know there is no forgiveness for what I've done or the mistakes I have made. I know there is no undoing the past, or returning to cosplay in any form. There is no way to turn back the clock and no way for me to fully express how much it breaks my heart knowing what I did and what I caused. I would hate me, too. But, I have to learn to live with the mistakes I have made. Everyday I fear something will happen and everyday I worry about whether I managed to refund everyone or not. I feel horrible saying it, but because of all the sleeping medication, everything has become... somewhat a blur. I can't remember everything and it makes me feel that much worse, because I can't even remember if or who I still owe. I'd like to say I managed to get everyone refunded to some extent, many months after the fact. Truth be told, though, I can't remember very well. I haven't been able to remember things well ever since I tried to take the easy way out. Just about daily the thought comes up, wondering... And it tears at me, because I don't know.

All I know is that I wish I had never tripped to begin with. I wish I didn't let myself spiral into an endless void of depression. I wish I hadn't woken up to take another sleeping pill each day to escape the mistakes I had made. I wish I had handled everything before letting it get to this. But I was stupid, scared, young... I was one small girl trying to deal with things I didn't even realize I didn't understand. And because of that, I ended up hurting my friends, I ended up hurting the cosplay community, I ended up hurting the RPF community, I hurt everyone I cared about the most and whose thoughts I valued the most. Instead of putting out the fire, I just let it burn while I hid and tried to escape through medication or death. I destroyed everything.

Learning to live with my own mental illnesses of depression, anxiety, and other things I would rather not disclose, I can say that I have sought help in these past four years to learn from my mistakes and try to get better. This is still a constant battle for me and work in progress. While I know this will not lead to forgiveness, nor being accepted back into communities I just wanted to apologize for hurting others.

I imagine I'll be getting some upset responses from this post, especially upon people seeing that I am, in fact, alive. But it was something I needed to tell you, because it truly breaks my heart each day knowing that I caused this. I'm so sorry, everyone.

- Dagnie
 
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Re: The definition of 'TOO MANY PROJECTS' build thread - Now with 50% more too many's

Dagnie said:
Not a day passes where I don't feel regret and guilt for what happened. And not a day goes by where I don't think of what could have been.
Never did I set out to try and take money, suits, or anything from people. Never did I try to hurt those I cared about.

I was on a quick rise to success and I couldn't keep up. So once I stumbled and fell, I fell hard. And I spiraled down further, and further. It's taken me four years to gather the courage to face everyone here and say how horribly and deeply sorry I am for everything that happened. I couldn't keep up with the orders - I was one person who had never managed a business before and didn't know how quickly the water was rising. So when everything began to fall apart and people began requesting refunds after fabric had been ordered or work had been done, I panicked. I began drowning and couldn't figure out how to make everything just stop. Past desperately trying to refund people without having the money to give the full amounts, trying to get fabric or sewn suits returned in any way I could, finding myself with hundreds of dollars owed to the bank after refunding until my account was in negatives and still being unable to return to everyone what I owed...

It hit me hard, knowing how many people I had upset, disappointed, or inadvertently ripped off when that was never my intent.

I only ever wanted to create - Create for other people. But once I tripped up, I became terrified. I shut down. I stopped caring about myself or anyone else around me, instead shutting myself away and using sleeping pills to try and escape the disaster I had caused. I hid, lost friends, lost the ability to use my own name without fear, lost the things I cared about most, and disappointed all of you. It got to the point where I actually attempted to commit suicide, because I couldn't face what I had done.

Even now, I know there is no forgiveness for what I've done or the mistakes I have made. I know there is no undoing the past, or returning to cosplay in any form. There is no way to turn back the clock and no way for me to fully express how much it breaks my heart knowing what I did and what I caused. I would hate me, too. But, I have to learn to live with the mistakes I have made. Everyday I fear something will happen and everyday I worry about whether I managed to refund everyone or not. I feel horrible saying it, but because of all the sleeping medication, everything has become... somewhat a blur. I can't remember everything and it makes me feel that much worse, because I can't even remember if or who I still owe. I'd like to say I managed to get everyone refunded to some extent, many months after the fact. Truth be told, though, I can't remember very well. I haven't been able to remember things well ever since I tried to take the easy way out. Just about daily the thought comes up, wondering... And it tears at me, because I don't know.

All I know is that I wish I had never tripped to begin with. I wish I didn't let myself spiral into an endless void of depression. I wish I hadn't woken up to take another sleeping pill each day to escape the mistakes I had made. I wish I had handled everything before letting it get to this. But I was stupid, scared, young... I was one small girl trying to deal with things I didn't even realize I didn't understand. And because of that, I ended up hurting my friends, I ended up hurting the cosplay community, I ended up hurting the RPF community, I hurt everyone I cared about the most and whose thoughts I valued the most. Instead of putting out the fire, I just let it burn while I hid and tried to escape through medication or death. I destroyed everything.

A part of me feels like it's foolish to type this. I feel like I'm just copping out and that I don't even deserve to be here typing this. I don't deserve to be in any of your guys's presence today, and I definitely don't deserve any forgiveness.
But I have to say, have to express, and need you all to know... I'm sorry. I'm so, horribly sorry.
None of this was supposed to happen, and I would have never thought I would see myself become the person to do this type of thing.
But it did, and I can't undo that it happened or how poorly I handled it.

I imagine I'll be getting some upset responses from this post, especially upon people seeing that I am, in fact, alive. But it was something I needed to tell you, because it truly breaks my heart each day knowing that I caused this. I'm so sorry, everyone.

- Dagnie
Click to expand...
I haven't been on the rpf in ages but I just got a tapatalk notification and read your post! I had no idea all that stuff happened and I was following that thread when it was new. But I really wanted to make sure you get at least one encouraging message. Ive struggled with that level of depression and Im not going to assume I understand what youve gone through, just that the feelings are the WORST and it takes so much work and assitance to handle them. I don't know your home and personal situations either so Im not going to urge you to "get help" without knowing what options for help are actually even available to you.

All I can do is offer a sympathetic message box if you need to talk, ok? You clearly did your best and got overwhelmed and that can happen to anybody. and THAT I can relate to.

Please PM if you need to talk.

Sent from my LG-H811 using Tapatalk
 
Re: The definition of 'TOO MANY PROJECTS' build thread - Now with 50% more too many's

Dagnie said:
Not a day passes where I don't feel regret and guilt for what happened. And not a day goes by where I don't think of what could have been.
Never did I set out to try and take money, suits, or anything from people. Never did I try to hurt those I cared about.

I was on a quick rise to success and I couldn't keep up. So once I stumbled and fell, I fell hard. And I spiraled down further, and further. It's taken me four years to gather the courage to face everyone here and say how horribly and deeply sorry I am for everything that happened. I couldn't keep up with the orders - I was one person who had never managed a business before and didn't know how quickly the water was rising. So when everything began to fall apart and people began requesting refunds after fabric had been ordered or work had been done, I panicked. I began drowning and couldn't figure out how to make everything just stop. Past desperately trying to refund people without having the money to give the full amounts, trying to get fabric or sewn suits returned in any way I could, finding myself with hundreds of dollars owed to the bank after refunding until my account was in negatives and still being unable to return to everyone what I owed...

It hit me hard, knowing how many people I had upset, disappointed, or inadvertently ripped off when that was never my intent.

I only ever wanted to create - Create for other people. But once I tripped up, I became terrified. I shut down. I stopped caring about myself or anyone else around me, instead shutting myself away and using sleeping pills to try and escape the disaster I had caused. I hid, lost friends, lost the ability to use my own name without fear, lost the things I cared about most, and disappointed all of you. It got to the point where I actually attempted to commit suicide, because I couldn't face what I had done.

Even now, I know there is no forgiveness for what I've done or the mistakes I have made. I know there is no undoing the past, or returning to cosplay in any form. There is no way to turn back the clock and no way for me to fully express how much it breaks my heart knowing what I did and what I caused. I would hate me, too. But, I have to learn to live with the mistakes I have made. Everyday I fear something will happen and everyday I worry about whether I managed to refund everyone or not. I feel horrible saying it, but because of all the sleeping medication, everything has become... somewhat a blur. I can't remember everything and it makes me feel that much worse, because I can't even remember if or who I still owe. I'd like to say I managed to get everyone refunded to some extent, many months after the fact. Truth be told, though, I can't remember very well. I haven't been able to remember things well ever since I tried to take the easy way out. Just about daily the thought comes up, wondering... And it tears at me, because I don't know.

All I know is that I wish I had never tripped to begin with. I wish I didn't let myself spiral into an endless void of depression. I wish I hadn't woken up to take another sleeping pill each day to escape the mistakes I had made. I wish I had handled everything before letting it get to this. But I was stupid, scared, young... I was one small girl trying to deal with things I didn't even realize I didn't understand. And because of that, I ended up hurting my friends, I ended up hurting the cosplay community, I ended up hurting the RPF community, I hurt everyone I cared about the most and whose thoughts I valued the most. Instead of putting out the fire, I just let it burn while I hid and tried to escape through medication or death. I destroyed everything.

Learning to live with my own mental illnesses of depression, anxiety, and other things I would rather not disclose, I can say that I have sought help in these past four years to learn from my mistakes and try to get better. This is still a constant battle for me and work in progress. While I know this will not lead to forgiveness, nor being accepted back into communities I just wanted to apologize for hurting others.

I imagine I'll be getting some upset responses from this post, especially upon people seeing that I am, in fact, alive. But it was something I needed to tell you, because it truly breaks my heart each day knowing that I caused this. I'm so sorry, everyone.

- Dagnie
Click to expand...

I don't know you nor do I have a full grasp on the situation, but I can tell you two things. The first, it took courage to come and apologize. Which is not something most people have the stones to do. Doing what is right is never easy, but don't let that discourage you. The second is an apology can go a long way and you would be surprised by doing just that can improve relationships with people.

"There is magic in sincere forgiveness. Magic to heal. In forgiveness you grant, and more so in the forgiveness you receive."
- Temple of the Winds, Chapter 41, page 318

I hope things get better for you.
 
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I typed up a long-winded anthology of support in a DM (it didn't go through due to your current DM settings). It had some personal things in it that I'd rather not throw around on RPF publicly.

In summation though, what you're doing is a BIG step in the right direction. You're very brave for putting this out, regardless of the timeframe. I don't think the community will be as spiteful as you might think. I'd say most of us welcome you and your creativity back.

I hope you're turning things around and I'm profoundly glad you're still with us. If you ever need a friend or just a person to talk to I'm around... as I'm sure most of the costume community would be.

Welcome back @Dagnie!

ps. If it's only been four years you could start putting on product now and STILL be ahead of Anovos!
 
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Re: The definition of 'TOO MANY PROJECTS' build thread - Now with 50% more too many's

Dagnie said:
Not a day passes where I don't feel regret and guilt for what happened...
Click to expand...

i was never caught up in any of the issues regarding your commissions, but i appreciate you gathering the courage to come forward with this informative apology. depression, anxiety, mental illness in general, is definitely not something to be taken lightly. most people can't truly comprehend just how horribly and drastically it can affect every aspect of your life. i struggled with it myself for a very long time, so i can understand to an extent what you dealt with. it definitely sucks.

regarding your "I imagine I'll be getting some upset responses from this post, especially upon people seeing that I am, in fact, alive" comment, while i'm sure your actions undoubtedly angered the people affected, i seriously doubt any members of this community would want to see any harm come to you, over the matter of a bit of money.

i hope getting your apology out there has brought you some degree of peace, and lifted some of the weight off your conscience. i also hope to see you return to the community and get back into regularly cosplaying, the work you've shared in the past was always great.

cheers!
 
in my opinion, if that matters to anyone i like to tell you that you have bigger balls than alot of other people. you came here and wrote an extensive apology. that show courage. thumbs up and i hope people can forgive you.

seen story like this end up real bad and the funeral was no fun. in short: guy started busyness, got over his head in work, got depressed because of that and hang himself. that is how i lost my brother.

i have no idea what happend with you and you customers so might be easy to say for me: glad you made it back!
 
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