Obsolent? That's not a word....Not trying to be a jerk about it, just literally do not understand what point you're trying to make.
What story is that? The film tells us (through Leia) that while what Poe did may have resulted in a short-term tactical victory, in the long run, he needlessly lost lives (and was not thinking like a leader should).
I guess I just don't agree with your interpretation of the movie. I think TLJ solidifies that BOTH Kylo and Rey are strong force users. While one might say "oh, but Kylo is even more emo in this movie!" he offs Snoke and takes control of the First Order. Remember Yoda's lesson? Masters are what their students grow beyond....Kylo grows beyond Snoke in power, except, you know, he's unhinged (which sets up the third movie in a way ROTJ was not, it raises the stakes because Kylo is not a rational actor). Likewise, whether or not one agrees with the creative decision to have Luke force-project himself onto Crait, the fact that he does it, actually solidifies the fact that Luke has re-connected to the force and is still one of its most powerful wielders. Kylo says to Rey: "you can't be doing this, the effort would kill you." Luke one-ups Kylo on what he (Kylo) thinks are the limits of force abilities. That's why Kylo doesn't realize Luke isn't there...he can't even comprehend Luke having the ability to do that in the first place.
Also, Finn does the exact opposite of what you're claiming the film does to its male characters. He's trying to desert (again), which ostensibly would demonstrate weakness. Yet by the end of the film, he's ready to sacrifice himself to buy the Resistance time to escape. It's the ultimate act of self-sacrifice.