Yesterday, in a stroke of stupidity, I watched the first 30 minutes of 2-Headed Shark Attack on Netflix because of the shark being featured on Monster Man. After 30 mins, I just couldn't endure it any more and had to stop, but in watching those 30 minutes, a number of questions came to mind that I have actually pondered for years; namely, what differentiates a B movie from an A movie.. or more appropriately, a bad movie from a good movie? Before you just say "money" hear me out. The things that always stand out to me in a B movie is the amount of cheese, the lack of self-awareness, the 1/2 dimensional characters (they aren't even good enough to be called 1 dimensional) and the horrible lines for the characters. I understand that when you have a small budget you can't afford big effects or big name actors. I have no issue with that. I also can accept that you probably aren't going to get any oscar winning acting. However, it seems that some movies just don't even try and they pick their stereotypes straight off the shelf at Wal-Mart. Why? Why not try to rise above and be more than your budget? Why not create people instead of cardboard stand-ins that fall into a handful of so easily identified stereotypes; the roid jock, the trashy girls, the misunderstood nerd, etc. Is it really THAT hard to write something that isn't 100% pathetic? I am not asking for Shakespere and of course, more money will get you better writing, but is it really so hard to write dialog that isn't contrived from start to finish? Speaking more on the writing, why is it that 90% of the characters have attitude? When did that become the default? It feels like the only emotion this level of actors can offer is annoyed and perturbed... I tend to see this a lot in fan films as well, and it is most often seen in the female characters. Why does everything that happens need the response of eye-rolling followed by "like, yeah... whatever." Why the lack of any reality at all? Two things that made me laugh because it just seems like it should be obvious how silly it is; 1) In the movie a boat hits a large shark and it gets stuck on the front of the boat... now we are talking at least a 12 ft shark. The professor hooks the shark with a gaff and pulls it down the side of the boat, while the boat is going at a good clip. Now, really, think about that. There is no way that guy could have gotten the shark off the front of the boat due to the pressure, and once the shark was on the side of the boat, the drag would have pulled the guy right over instantly. 2) they end up on an island and the same dude says to his students "we are going to be here for 24 hours so the first thing we need to do is search for food." What? 24 hours and you think you are Tom Hanks in castaway? Now, even big budget movies do things that are ridiculous, but it just seems like someone would have pointed out how silly these type of things were. I don't know, maybe I am just not getting it. I understand when a movie is tryinng to be purposefully campy, but so many of these low grade movies seem to be taking themselves seriously, yet are just horrible, and all in the same way, many of which don't seem to be directly tied to money. Help me understand, why this is and what I am missing.