Things you're tired of seeing in movies

[dascoyne]

Con-game movies where the central twist is always that someone unexpected is in on the caper.

 

[Riceball]

The ancient Roman gladiators actually preferred to have a decent layer of fat on them. It helped shield the important stuff better, particularly from glancing surface hits with blades. (Of course the ancient world's idea of a "decent layer" was probably not much fat by 21st century American standards.)

I imagine that a topic like this would depend greatly on the style/conditions of the fighting.


The old gladiators were also were allowed to have more protection on their arms & legs than their torsos. It made for a better fight (and a longer career for the good fighters) when the limbs didn't get injured as much.

I've heard that too and it makes a certain amount of sense and not to mention that nutrition then wasn't the same as it is now so naturally they wouldn't get as lean as they can get now a days, though they were kept on a well regulated diet. They also didn't have any of the kinds of work out equipment that we have these days to target individual muscle groups to help get that chiseeld/sculpted look.

As far as arm and leg protection goes, that depended entirely on what class of gladiator they were, unlike what you see in Hollywood gladiators were divided into specific classes with weapons and armor unique to each class. While none wore full armor of any sort they almost all wore a helmet of some sort, the design of which was unique to their particular class. Some carried shields while others didn't, those that did usually were armed with just a sword while those without shields were often armed with a longer weapon like a trident. The Romans were very big on gladiator classes being a series of trade offs, reach for armor, armor for mobility, etc, and they loved pairing gladiators of dissimilar types against each other like a lighter armored gladiator against one with a shield, you seldom, if ever, saw 2 gladiators of the same, or even similar class go against each other.

 

[Solo4114]

The "ultimate warrior" character that has skin like a model's, with no scars, bruises, blemishes of any type. What, they never had any boo-boos learning to fight anyone with a sword?
Yes, I'm directing that to anyone involved in the show, "Into the Badlands" but it's almost everywhere in the genre...

On that same note seeing a "warrior" with a bodybuilder's proportions - as well as the perfect spray on tan.

I'll just leave this here...

I think that the big warrior stereotype comes from the common misconception that swords and armor were heavy so you'd need to be big to properly wield a sword and wear armor when in fact neither were particularly heavy. A typical European sword only weighed a few pounds or so, lighter than some modern military rifles and a mail shirt were no heavier than modern body armor. The biggest misconception is that plate armor was extremely heavy, which it wasn't, it was heavier than a mail shirt for certain but it wasn't so heavy that if you fell you were turtled. Plate armor was individually fitted to its wearer and offered minimal encumberance, Henry VIII was reputed to be able to cartwheels in his armor, and as far as weight goes, all of the weight was distributed all across the body so the perceived weight is probably less than modern military body armor.

I find this hard to believe.
Not that a person could do cartwheels in armor - that Henry VIII could do cartwheels at all.

It's definitely possible in plate armor. I've seen it done, actually, in a documentary.

Henry VIII was a pretty agile man before he was injured. Remember, he wasn't 18 yet when he became king. He was badly injured in a jousting incident in his late 20s which many historians feel led to the later medical problems and obesity he suffered from in his 30s and 40s...

The syphilis didn't help, either, but yeah, Henry was generally regarded as a serious athlete. He personally wrestled the king of France at the Field of the Cloth of Gold (and lost). So, it wouldn't surprise me if he was able to do it, at least before he was, as I've heard one historian describe his latter years, "a gouty, syphilitic hulk."

I've heard that too and it makes a certain amount of sense and not to mention that nutrition then wasn't the same as it is now so naturally they wouldn't get as lean as they can get now a days, though they were kept on a well regulated diet. They also didn't have any of the kinds of work out equipment that we have these days to target individual muscle groups to help get that chiseeld/sculpted look.

As far as arm and leg protection goes, that depended entirely on what class of gladiator they were, unlike what you see in Hollywood gladiators were divided into specific classes with weapons and armor unique to each class. While none wore full armor of any sort they almost all wore a helmet of some sort, the design of which was unique to their particular class. Some carried shields while others didn't, those that did usually were armed with just a sword while those without shields were often armed with a longer weapon like a trident. The Romans were very big on gladiator classes being a series of trade offs, reach for armor, armor for mobility, etc, and they loved pairing gladiators of dissimilar types against each other like a lighter armored gladiator against one with a shield, you seldom, if ever, saw 2 gladiators of the same, or even similar class go against each other.

The Starz show Spartacus got this right most of the time (well, the different classes. Not the body types and fat content).

 

[dascoyne]

Villains with face tattoos.
It's been played out for over a decade.

 

[p51]

Characters who are brothers or sisters, referring to each other as such.
I have a brother and have never once even thought of calling him, "Bro" or referring to him directly as my brother. And why? We both know we're bothers, already! I know it's a poor plot device to convey who the characters are, but people simply don't talk like that in real life!

 

[Laspector]

Are you suggesting that when the Duke boys always referred to each other as "cuz" it wasn't realistic?:lol


But yeah, I would never call my brother "bro". However, I have called friends that...weird, huh?

 

[p51]

Pretty much any movie made by Hallmark Channel...

 

[binkleywalker]

Pretty much any movie made by Hallmark Channel...

You take that back! Everybody needs a good cry now and then!! I mean, not me, but somebody else.

Brian

 

[LrdSatyr8]

You take that back! Everybody needs a good cry now and then!! I mean, not me, but somebody else.

Brian

I agree... how else are you gonna keep the women occupied while you work on a new model? Its NECESSARY I tell ya!

 

[Laspector]

Someone gets their throat slit and they are dead in 2 seconds. I've never actually seen someone get their throat cut, but I would imagine it would take more than a second or two to bleed out and die.

 

[p51]

Someone gets their throat slit and they are dead in 2 seconds. I've never actually seen someone get their throat cut, but I would imagine it would take more than a second or two to bleed out and die.

True. And nobody ever bleeds out in movies the amount they would in real life.
I wish I didn't know this first-hand, but someone bleeding out creates a massive pool of the red stuff.

 

[LrdSatyr8]

True. And nobody ever bleeds out in movies the amount they would in real life.
I wish I didn't know this first-hand, but someone bleeding out creates a massive pool of the red stuff.

Yeah, can you imagine the scene from a ninja movie where the ninja cuts everyones head off and they are all laying on the floor... I would imagine it would be difficult to walk around much with that much blood all over the floor creating a layer of goo to slip and slide around in... not to mention of course the ninja never gets any blood on them from walking thru and getting sprayed with the stuff. In reality it would be like him taking a blood bath and then try to grasp a door handle enough to turn the knob when your hand is covered in chicken grease and you get the idea.

 

[p51]

Just an FYI, blood is more sticky than slippery once it spreads out.
One of the many things I wish I hadn't learned the hard way...

 

[Laspector]

Yeah, and blood in the movies never seems to dry out. They come to the death scene days later and the blood is still wet and bright red. Doesn't dried blood turn a lot darker?

 

[Reelo]

Someone gets their throat slit and they are dead in 2 seconds. I've never actually seen someone get their throat cut, but I would imagine it would take more than a second or two to bleed out and die.

If they cut or pierce the carotid it's pretty much insta-blackout from the loss of blood pressure in the brain and death within a minute or so.

 

[mattycsi]

Whilst we're on the death subject.

How come dead bodies in movies/tv never fart? I've shifted more dead people than I care to remember and they all let out a sneaky one as the gasses start shifting. So potent they could knock the flies off a bucket of s***, strip the paint off a footlocker!

And they've never crapped or wet themselves either. Hollywood gives a lot more dignity in death than actually exists.

 

[NormanF]

Whilst we're on the death subject.

How come dead bodies in movies/tv never fart? I've shifted more dead people than I care to remember and they all let out a sneaky one as the gasses start shifting. So potent they could knock the flies off a bucket of s***, strip the paint off a footlocker!

And they've never crapped or wet themselves either. Hollywood gives a lot more dignity in death than actually exists.

Southpark handled that.

Sent from my Motorola StarTAC

 

[AJTaliesen]

Whilst we're on the death subject.

How come dead bodies in movies/tv never fart? I've shifted more dead people than I care to remember and they all let out a sneaky one as the gasses start shifting. So potent they could knock the flies off a bucket of s***, strip the paint off a footlocker!

And they've never crapped or wet themselves either. Hollywood gives a lot more dignity in death than actually exists.

franly, I assume this is because of people like me. Because no matter how serious a death scene is, when the corpse rips one, there will be a few immature folks like myself who just won't be able to stop themselves from giggling.

 

[Zombie_61]

Yeah, and blood in the movies never seems to dry out. They come to the death scene days later and the blood is still wet and bright red. Doesn't dried blood turn a lot darker?

Darker, and more of a brownish red.

And since we're on the subject of blood, it bugs me when a character gets a deep cut, but it only bleeds a little. I've bled more when I've cut myself shaving. Then the actor moves around, but the minor amount of allegedly fresh blood doesn't run or drip. Newer movies and television shows have gotten a little better about this because the state of special effects makeups has improved over the years, but I still see it from time to time.

Also annoying is when a character is bleeding from a fresh wound, but when they cut to a close-up you can see that the fake blood has dried because they've been filming for quite a while on a hot stage. Seriously folks, if you're going to zoom in, use a little fresh fake blood.

 

[robn1]

Dried blood turns brown because the iron in the blood rusts.