actually, what would be funny is to try and pack in EVERYONE'S suggestions, or rather, try to pack in every major Trek plot device into one scene...
so start with Steve on bridge, alien pops on screen and tells him he has one minute to surrender ship.
before he can gruel over this, turbo lift doors open and out shoots Nomad type robot yelling in shrill overload tone "STERILIZE!!"
he turns to Spock who is crying at his station, he asks SPock why he's crying, but before SPock can answer, Steve gets a face full of spores from alien plant, and then says, "Oh yeah, right."
NOMAD is going critical, Lincoln steps in and suggests perhaps he can help, but he gets smacked in face with alien brain pancake parasite.
Steve tries to escape via turbolift, but when doors open, out jumps Mugato and bites him...Steve kicks albino ape back into lift and sits back in chair, only to jump up when he sits on Tribble...McCoy picks it up and says, "It's dead, Steve," to which Steve responds, "poisoned grain?" and McCoy says, "No, you just crushed it."
Steve looks over at Scotty, Scotty yells, "The engines can'na take it, Cap'n" Steve says, "I didn't even ask for warp power, Mister Scott" Scotty says "Oh, then nevermind."
Steve looks to McCoy -- "Bones, can you put somethin' on this Mugato bite?"
McCoy responds, "I'm a doctor, not a veterinarian, Jim"
Steve says, "That doesn't even make any sense." McCoy exits via turbolift, but out comes "Evil Steve"
Soft-hearted Steve says "Oh no...don't tell me, transporter malfunction?"
Evil Steve nods yes.
Soft-hearted Steve says, "So tell me why it is that evil me beams up wit no insignia patch?"
Evil Steve shrugs shoulders.
NOMAD vibrating in corner STERILIZE! DANGER! STERILIZE!!
Spock says, "Captain, we are in grave danger."
Steve says, "You mean from Nomad self destructing?"
Spock, "No, I'm in Pon Far and Nurse Chapel just handed me this hot chicken soup."
Spock throws soup, it hits Nomad.
CUT TO Enterprise...it blows up.
Roll credits.
