Whatever happened to the utopian worlds of Star Trek? I know they never really existed but you could at least pretend.
They pretty much did. We never spent much time there under Roddenberry's watch because
he knew perfection was boring. There was a forward in his novelization of The Motion Picture written as by Admiral Kirk, where he ruminates on the nature of the member of Starfleet versus the general population, being something of an evolutionary throwback. It fits Star Trek as space western. In 19th century America, as the Eastern end of the country grew more civilized, those who chafed under such strictures, or wanted excitement and adventure headed West. Same here, but substitute upward and outward for Westward. The people on the show aren't as "civilized" as those they've left behind at home -- but they're still professionals.
I can't really imagine a contemporary Admiral breaking protocol in such a way around a civilian or subordinate. The h-words and s-words and d-words (not sure how nitpicky the profanity filter on here will get with people) are low-key enough that their understated (usually) use helps convey the stress of a difficult situation. I was one of the ones for whom Data's expletive in Generations fell flat. Handled differently, it probably would've been more natural and fitting. But in none of those would I expect to hear, say, Kirk cussing out a subordinate with profanity, or Admiral Riker angrily yelling at Picard to **** off when the latter came to him for help in "All Good Things...". Not even Sisko, in his impassioned, vehement speeches or dressings-down. People cite the holographic DaVinci in Voyager, but I'd like to remind folks he's a figment of the computer, and not a member of Starfleet -- let alone top brass.*
[*
Although, I did think at the time, and still do, that it might have been a nice way to help set the Maquis crew members apart from the Starfleeters on DS9 and Voyager -- a way to emphasize the difference of Humans who are fighting for their homes out on the frontier as opposed to the ones safe and cushy back on Earth.]
Earth and most of the early Human colonies, Vulcan and theirs, other founding and core members -- thanks to replicators and effectively limitless (and therefore cheaper than dirt) energy -- they've
got that utopia. Hunger and want are nonexistent. People are free to pursue whatever passions fire their life. Technology is pervasive but unobtrusive. So much is automated, there's minimal need for anyone to do the dirty work. And there are always people who enjoy being of service, so there will always be chefs and restaurants and mechanics and such. Just not as many, and not because they
have to. There are other essays out there as to how it all works, but it does. There's an economy and trade and money (but not cash), but it's usually invisible to the average citizen.
That's the gist behind Pike's reminiscences of the world outside Mojave in "The Cage", Kirk's comments to aliens about his homeworld in TOS, his comments to Dr. Taylor in TVH, Picard's reminiscences of Paris, his visits home to the vineyard, Sisko's to New Orleans, his dad's restaurant, Harry Kim's family, the San Francisco we see when he's in the alternate timeline where he didn't go on
Voyager, and so on and so on. We've seen a lot of glimpses of Earth from the 2250s to the 2400s in the original canon, and it's pretty consistent in that depiction. Between unprofessional Starfleet people and established utopia abruptly being dystopia (even at the height of the Dominion War, we retained our civility and people like Admirals Leyton and Dougherty stand out as aberrations, rather than the norm), "Trek" for the last decade has been a harsh abnegation of everything the original canon was about.
That's why people who are longtime Trek fans who like Discovery and Picard leave me utterly baffled and dismayed. I cannot grasp how they can view these shows and find it good. A friend's mom said of Picard that "It's some of the best Star Trek [she's] ever seen", and I just boggled, at loss for words. And, as you can see above, that takes some doing.