Amateur.
1. Glowing Space hug.
- Yeah, it was pretty random and made little to no sense.
2. because the bad guy never moved his ship up or down.
- That's a point that you cannot call worse than what Beyond does. That resolution helped illustrate how there will always be a disadvantage when you play against your opponent's strengths. Khan has commanding the Reliant for what, a few days? How long has Kirk commanded the Enterprise? Also, you left out Spock's sacrifice.
3. By kicking someone off a cliff.
- That totally fits in with Star Trek. Kirk always finds himself in a hand-to-hand fight quite often.
4. By whale song
- As silly as it might sound, the whales actually worked in this case because it focused on what we still don't know about whales. We know they can save the day, but we don't know exactly how they do it. The film is very aware of this and thankfully managed to not make it worse by adding in subtitles to the Whale Songs that the studio execs wanted. Plus whales being extinct in the future was a good way of illustrating the differences between the past and present times of humanity in Star Trek.
5. By firing a photon torpedo at god
- First, Sybok tried to give it a therapy session. Second, it wasn't god. Third, the torpedo didn't do it in. Fourth, it was a weaker Klingon Bird of Prey Disruptor that did it in, manned by Spock no less. That's not defending Star Trek V mind you. Just making the point that the film is a lot dumber than you're giving it credit for.
6 by Scotty shooting someone
- What about Spock and McCoy trying to rig a torpedo to chase gas before the Enterprise gets destroyed? What about Kirk heroically jumping high in the air to save the President of the Federation from a sniper? Or Kirk's speech about how different societies being frightened of having to deal with each other? Scotty shooting West was more of a "Oh, one last thing" and was by no means the big finale. Cripes, West was aiming for a one-shot character for crying out loud.
7. With stock footage from the last film
- I think "Going back in time for a fist-fight rematch with an old man on a catwalk" is more damning than using stock footage. And if you're still hinging on the battle with the Bird of Prey to be the film's ending battle, just go with technobabble. When the Enterprise has weapons that could stop a Borg cube for a minute, there is really no reason to technobabble your way out of fighting a century old design ship that has less mass to it than one of your ship's nacelles.
8. With Data smashing a tube
Not before Picard smashed his little ships.
9. **** blows up, Data is a flotation device.
- I got one that's better. The technology hating hippies win.
10. bad guy throws himself on a spike, after two space ships collide with neither of them exploding
- THE WHOLE MOVIE.
2009 enterprise pulls away from a black hole by jettisoning its warp core
- Not before Kirk risked the Enterprise to kill Nero when his ship was already being destroyed by said black hole. Surprised Kirk didn't say "If we kill Nero before the black hole does, we get an achievement!"
STID Kirk fixes warp core by kicking it, dies briefly.
- You do not give NuKirk credit for his not-so sacrifice and not bring up Spock's sacrifice in TWOK. And come on. Khan may not have gone up or down in TWOK, but at least he didn't demand that the Enterprise send him TORPEDOES. Also, sacrifice moment is ruined by a forced "KHAAN!" shoutout and a fist-fight.
Because when Star Trek does stupid, it's the kind of stupid that only Star Trek can do. Mars Attacks, which was a parody that played this tactic for comedic effect. Is Star Trek really going to sink to that level that we have they have to resort to plot devices from parodies?
I haven't seen the film yet so I have no idea if the execution will be or if the film will be good enough in general that I just won't care. I think it will be the latter since that's the impression I'm getting from the reviews.
