Like I said, it's my first model, no way I'm going to spend more than U$100 on something I have no idea how it will turn out. I'd pay that for one already built.
Completely understandable. We all have to start somewhere, and I know that buying that first model kit can be intimidating - especially if you've got limited funds.
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back in 1994-1995, I bought my very first model kit - Kaiyodo's
Godzilla 1989 vinyl model kit. Cripes.. if I remember right, it set me back about $80.oo US. Like you, I was afraid of screwing it up and doing a huge injustice to the character and model builders alike. Well, I was not satisfied at all with the paint job I'd done on it, and it sat on my shelf for a while before I discovered something.
I could just repaint it.
Aaand so I did. In fact, I haven't touched it since - even now I'm totally happy with the second paint job. I even touched up some of the putty work too. I don't understand where this "If I don't paint it right the first time, it's trash."
That's one major issue I want to address - "Well, I was afraid to screw it up so I bought a cheap-ass version on Ebay. If I screw it up it's no big deal... it's just a recast." Knowingly buying a recast is against this forum and many other hobby boards as well. Plus, it deters phenomenal artists from producing amazing, original work in kit-form. Anyway, that's enough recast talk.
No matter how bad you think you'll screw it up, or.. even if you do mess it up somehow, it's fixable. That's the thing with this type of hobby - EVERYTHING is fixable if you have the drive and patience to do it. It'll take some practice and some work - trial and error - but you could turn it into a fantastic piece. Also - through the resources of this board, Google, and Ebay, you can find anything. You can't resort to Ebay after 10 minutes of searching without any results. I would think something has more meaning if you saved up and did some searching for it; rather than some cheap piece of wasted plastic after 5 minutes on Ebay.