Movie Cliches that need to be Retired.

[Solo4114]

- All cops know how to drive like racecar drivers, thereby enabling them to engage in high-speed pursuits through city streets.

- High speed pursuits through city streets NEVER involve any pedestrian casualties. Everyone jumps out of the way at the last second.

- Cars that take high jumps (IE: going over hills in San Francisco) are (A) controllable upon landing, and (B) have axles and undercarriages that remain undamaged, thereby allowing them to drive with no discernible damage.

- Michael Bay 7: Michael Bay Strikes Back

- Secretaries are always smarter and more accomplished than their bosses, and will be promoted to executive positions upon revealing their bosses' nefarious schemes to take control of the company.

- Nobody ever gets any dust in their eye for no reason when it's windy out. They will only get dust in their eye if it is something that will be commented on by other characters.

- Villains AND heroes alike will allow time to either make or listen to a speech prior to shooting the other guy. No one would think of cutting the conversation short to actually shoot the other guy.

- In hand-to-hand combat, both combatants can take an inordinate number of strikes to the head and body without becoming disoriented.

- Jack Bauer has only 24 hours to stop a terrorist plot. And it will take him exactly 24 hours to do it. He never solves it early and then goes home to veg on the couch.

- Horses whinny ALL the time.

- All horses are short enough and compliant enough that you can leap onto them from behind, jump onto them from a rooftop, or instantly hop into the saddle without exerting any effort whatsoever.

- When shooting an arrow at someone, it is critical to aim DIRECTLY towards them, no matter how far away you are. Movie arrows fired by individual archers are unaffected by gravity.

- A single arrow will almost always kill a nameless enemy. Heroes and named villains, however, can take multiple arrows and live.

- The rookie cop that you just met five minutes ago (when already 50 min into the film) is going to die in the next shootout.

- The veteran cop's old partner will be killed fifteen to twenty minutes into the film. This timeframe shortens to ten minutes if he's close to retirement.

- Any cop whose partner was killed will be permitted to work the murder of their partner.

- In buddy-cop movies, bad guys never go to trial. They are always killed. Probably to avenge the death of the partner who died 10-20 min into the film.

 

[Contec]

- In buddy-cop movies, bad guys never go to trial. They are always killed. Probably to avenge the death of the partner who died 10-20 min into the film.

But i have Diplomatic immunity!!!:lol you can't touch me..

 

[micdavis]

- Any cop whose partner was killed will be permitted to work the murder of their partner.

No, no.

They are forbade to work on the case but they always do.

 

[Solo4114]

Actually, I've seen it cut one of four ways:

1.) They are forbidden, but work an unrelated case that ends up directly tying into it.

2.) They are forbidden, but investigate it anyway, in spite of their captain who yells at them.

3.) They are initially forbidden, then discover information and the captain relents and lets them work it.

4.) They say "I need to bring this guy in, Cap. You can't take me off this case" and the captain lets them.

But i have Diplomatic immunity!!! you can't touch me..

Yeah, classic example.

Oh, that brings up another cliche:

- Aside from the captain complaining that the chief/mayor/commissioner/person of authority is chewing them out for the cop's rogue behavior, there are no consequences for the behavior. Car chase through downtown imperiling the lives of countless civilians? No problem. Insisting on cutting the blue wire before the bomb squad gets there? Go for it. Insisting on charging in and killing the suspect in the process of arrest, before the hostage rescue/s.w.a.t. guys get there? Have at it. SHOOTING AND KILLING A PERSON TO WHOM THE STATE DEPARTMENT HAS GRANTED DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY AND ALMOST CERTAINLY CREATING A DIPLOMATIC INCIDENT WITH THEIR HOME COUNTRY AND/OR IMPERILING THE LIVES OF COUNTLESS AMERICAN DIPLOMATIC PERSONNEL STATIONED AROUND THE WORLD?! Just a day in the life for a cop who won't let "the rules" stop him.

 

[Too Much Garlic]

Aliens are always naked, but have no genitalia or other reproductive organs... or if they do, they are always whale sized in comparison to body proportions.

 

[thegreatgalling]

Here are some great and common movie cliches. Each one of the folowing can be explained with the real world, behind the scenes explanation in parenthesis.

1. When someone turns the lights off, only to have some mystical blue light turn on...It happens nearly EVERY time. (Obv. the DP can't just let the movie be pitch black if something important needs to happen in the dark. Blue lights allow us to see what's going on).

2. Many times a person will just hang up a phone conversation without saying a proper "bye." In real life, we go "yeah, uh huh, bye, yeah, bye...bye" In movies, its often, "what? I see..."CLICK. (Screenwriters eliminate the unneeded and superfluous dialogue when writing).

3. I think the INSTANT drying of any wet character has been mentioned. (No actor is going to willingly walk around soaked for 10 hours while shooting. Instead, they will be moderately wet (wet hair, spritzed, etc.) for any shots after the actual soaking.

4. Love scenes; women lie face up with the blanket all the way up to their necks while men have the blanket at their waste. (This device was used since the beginning of time to cover the bits that could not be shown).

5. People fly backward when getting shot when in reality, you just drop. (Mythbusters proves the momentum of a bullet does not move the body back, but flying back is how we "think" it should look, as well as it being more dramatic).

6. On a related note, the less important you are in the film, the more quickly a gunshot kills you. If you are a main character, good or bad, you will be able to deliver a last line, sputter, or limp to your death. (Again, more dramatic).

7. The James Bond, Austin Powers, "I am just going to stage an elaborate death trap, leave and assume it will work...what's wrong?" trick. (More dramatic, leaves a chance for escape).

8. The main character and leading lady, who meet in the film, are ALWAYS single. (Sets them up for tension).

9. No one EVER cocks a gun until the last, most dramatic possible, moment. (DRAMA!)

Have any more? I think I read all these assembled in one place once, I'll see if I can find it.

 

[Too Much Garlic]

1. When someone turns the lights off, only to have some mystical blue light turn on...It happens nearly EVERY time. (Obv. the DP can't just let the movie be pitch black if something important needs to happen in the dark. Blue lights allow us to see what's going on).

Yeah, 'cause grey is just so passé.

 

[thegreatgalling]

Ha. I couldn't find the list I am referring to, but here's two funny ones:

1. If you are in a car chase, it is required that you drive into oncoming traffic and, at some point, hit a fruit stand.

2. If there is a crazy monster on the loose, killing everyone it comes in contact with, and potentially being a threat to all of mankind, there will always be one scientist who wants it captured… ALIVE.

Got these here:

http://kaispace.wordpress.com/2010/01/23/movie-cliches/

 

[Funky]

While riding in a car at night, everybody always seems to have crazy bright dashboard lights! It's bright enough to see the character's eye color! :lol

 

[Contec]

8. The main character and leading lady, who meet in the film, are ALWAYS single. (Sets them up for tension).

Not in James bond movies....."you are not my type....Single":lol

 

[CB2001]

How about this one:

For teenage movies, archaic songs and live band performances are used that conflict with current prom period. For example, a cover of "Don't You (Forget About Me)" being performed in a prom scene by a cover band. The same in "Ten Things I Hate About You", where a live band performs a cover of "Shout." I can say for certain, that the prom I went to involved a DJ and current music at that time (which included the likes of Coldplay's "Yellow", Daft Punk's "One More Time" and Jennifer Lopez's "Play").

Even more so with just the songs by itself. For some reason, in "Family Guy", songs from the 1990s on back are used (in one episode, Brian goes to a dance with Meg, to which they end up kissing while Annie Lennox's song "Why" is played. In another episode, where Peter goes undercover as a teenager in order to keep kids from doing drugs. During a dance social scene, they play "Get Out of My Dreams, Get Into My Car" by Billy Ocean).

 

[PHArchivist]

"Mr. ______'s my father - call me Fred!"

 

[ddocvjm]

Every action movie will have a scene taking place in an industrial building with the characters walking on the metal-grate type of catwalks. This will usually be the place for fights and gunfire.

Almost every movie will have a helicopter in at least one scene.

 

[Solo4114]

- Over/under saturated colors.

- 9 times out of 10, Australian/Kiwi actors will not use their native accent.

- Musical montages.

 

[PantheraGem]

As I brought up in another thread,

-When a movie gets really out-there, it's usually because the main character is either dying, or, more often has a SPLIT PERSONALITY!

-Anytime a diabetic character loses consciousness or goes into convulsion, it's because they NEED THEIR INSULIN! (which in most "movie" cases would end the convultion alright, by killing them).

 

[p51]

I’m sorry if some of you already came up with some (if not all) of these already. War movies drive me nuts as I’m a former Army officer, as do plenty of weapons things:

· Explosives are only deadly if you are in direct physical contact with them. There’s no such thing as shrapnel and nobody is ever deafened if something explodes inside a room with them. They can be ten feet away from a large explosion and only have a little black stage makeup on them afterward.
· Bullets kill the bad guys with each round and never just wound them. You never have to kick away weapons from the bad guy after you popped one round from a 9MM into him from over 3000 yards away at a dead run.
· Gun never, EVER jam. And they hardly ever need to be reloaded. People also never run out of ammunition in that hour-long firefight.
· Car chases between people who aren’t in law enforcement and nobody thinks to call 911 because two psychos are going the wrong way down a highway, gun blazing, and the police never respond, even when it’s over.
· If you pull out a firearm and point in someone’s face with your finger on the trigger, they won’t poop their pants and instead will give you a self-assured smirk and talk smack about you while you stand there, as if this happens to them several times a day. And yeah, you never shoot them when they do this. Never.
· Computer keyboards make beeping sounds with each key stoke, oddly never in sync with the person actually typing.
· People with insane accuracy with pistols. They can put ten shots into one bullet hole on a target when rapid firing with a pistol that in real life clearly would spray bullets all over the target.
· Car chases where the cars never crash into anything that causes the car to die or get hung up on something, unless there’s a school or state fair going on right on the other side of that fence.
· That bridge/volcano/evil lair has been there for decades or centuries, the good guy gets there less than a few minutes before it’s totally destroyed? How’s that for timing?
· Romans who speak with… an OXFORD ENGLISH accent?
· People who get knocked unconscious by anything other than a 2X4 to the back of the head.
· There are no TVs in movie or TV world. How many sitcoms or movies do you see where there’s a TV in the living room?
· Good guys never step on land mines. The bad guys in the same mine field will, though.
· Bullets that easily cut cables, chains, open padlocks, etc.
· People always have exact change, and when buying something, they never stop to get their change back or count it if they do.
· In war movies, they call in air strikes within the distance of a good hand grenade throw. Yes, Lennox’s NEST team can call in a 2000 pound bomb onto a Deceptacon less than 100 meters away and the explosion doesn’t kill anyone nearby.
· Speaking of the military, EVERYONE in the Army is a Ranger-tabbed wearer of the Combat Infantry Badge. All Air Force personnel are not only command pilots, they were missileers as well. There’s never a cook around, it seems.
· People with pistols going into a place where they’re likely to shoot someone never think to cock the hammer or get it ready to shoot until a moment when they have to do it silently. Also, semi-auto pistols need to be ****** often, sometimes each time they need to be shot.
· The evil genius always has a young woman around who looks like she’s a supermodel, yet has the skills of a Navy SEAL, can climb like Spiderman, fly an F-18 and disarm a nuclear weapon without messing up her hair. And even Ah-Nold can’t beat her up.
· If it’s a city that’s going to be destroyed in a spectacular way, it’s GOT to be New York City. Large disasters don’t happen anywhere else.
· Cell phones always have service, even in the middle of nowhere. But if you’re being chased by a bad guy, you could be in times square and you’ll have no bars at all on that cell phone!
· People drown within two or three seconds of being underwater, tops.
· Huge stacks of money are made up of crisp, new bills that have never seen anyone’s wallet.
· The main character (who’s NOT rich or famous in that someone can recognize him at one glance) can pick up an ultra hot woman at a bar faster than it took you to read this sentence. And it happens so often, he never finds anything special about it.
· The scientist who told you nothing would happen will admit you were right, but only moments before the thing he said not to worry about kills him. And you’re in no danger when it happens.
· Anyone can kick in a door. It’s so easy, you wonder why anyone bothers to lock them.
· Nobody ever calls the wrong number, and the numbers they call are never disconnected.
· The pilot nobody can shoot down who’s better than everyone will get blown out of the sky by someone with obviously inferior skills just by them mumbling, “The one’s for you, _____” just before they launch the missile, even though they just spent half an hour trying to do the exact same thing with no result.
· People only rob banks loudly, knocking people around and shooting. They never just walk in with a small, hidden pistol and a note.
· When the investigator explains to the person how they killed the victim, the murderer confesses right away and explains why, and their lawyer only tries half-heartedly to stop them from doing so, if even then.
· The white and black kids have to get along in a team situation. In the end, the white guys get “soul” and learn everything they can from the black kids. The education, however, never goes both ways because only ONE group is ignorant of the other’s culture and nobody can learn anything valuable from the white kids, right?

 

[Colin Droidmilk]

I guess you guys just don't get it. There are rarely ANY original plot devices ever.

Eliminate the ones you've listed and you have no movies at all.

Well, you'd have no dumb action movies... you could still have movies like 'Twelve Angry Men', 'Five Easy Pieces', 'Serpico' - but of course Hollywood doesn't make these kinds of movies any more, belonging as they do to that outmoded genre called Intelligent Movies for Adults.

 

[Solo4114]

p51 -- one exception to your pistol accuracy comment: closing sequence of Unforgiven. But yes, otherwise true. Doubly so if you're shooting with a pistol in each hand and diving through the air at the same time. In slow motion. After having reloaded each pistol in mid air.

 

[Darth Lars]

· Computer keyboards make beeping sounds with each key stoke, oddly never in sync with the person actually typing.

People using computers never use mice. They always type on keyboards. They always type what looks very random but somehow always fast, correct, and precisely what they meant to type.

 

[Probe Droid]

All musicians speak in a jivey slang that no one else can understand.