PHArchivist
Master Member
Deep Blue Sea
Movie Cliches that need to be Retired.
- Thread starter 0neiros
- Start date
Deep Blue Sea
foxbatkllr
Sr Member
Yes, this one. It happens in movies I love, but it still bothers me in those movies.
ONEYE
Sr Member
Never noticed that, but then I look at the character, not the color.
ONEYE
Sr Member
THAT's funny. I need to pay more attention!
GrenadeKing
Sr Member
Depends on how many millions of dollars really. A 1 million will fit nicely inside a small case or bag. $100 million and you'd need a forklift. :lol
I got a good cliche; the good guy will almost always leave behind larger weapons, ammunition, etc. in favor of his trusty pistol. Nevermind that the last 3 bad guys had automatic rifles with 100 round drum magazines, a pistol with only a handful of bullets will do just fine against the next 50 guys.
darthgordon
Sr Member
Cops are usually inept and are useless against the bad guy. They are incapable of hitting the broad side of a barn with a gun.
The same goes for the villains lackies. Apparently, it's the first day they've even picked up a gun.
All cars are designed like Gremlins. If they crash or get shot at, they explode in huge fireballs.
The villain always wants to monologue rather than shooting the good guy in the head; buying the hero adequate time to come up with an escape plan.
Reboots and prequels.
The same goes for the villains lackies. Apparently, it's the first day they've even picked up a gun.
All cars are designed like Gremlins. If they crash or get shot at, they explode in huge fireballs.
The villain always wants to monologue rather than shooting the good guy in the head; buying the hero adequate time to come up with an escape plan.
Reboots and prequels.
Solo4114
Master Member
Corollary -- every elevator has a working phone. Let me tell you, I've been locked in an elevator and no way could I have gotten the roof hatch open AND the damn phone didn't work. Fortunately, I had a cell phone with me. It was stopped between floors, too. Needless to say, I had visions of the opening of Resident Evil as I crawled out...
Correction: Anything in space makes any sound whatsoever.
Especially fast-moving ones.
Corollary -- Airducts which are fastened to ceilings with materials that are structurally sound enough to hold the weight of an average adult male. And that don't make noise as you move through them.
Minor quibbles here. First, that wasn't true for every James Bond movie, although it became more and more true as the franchise went along. Bond in Doctor No has LITERALLY no gadgets. At all. None. Bond in From Russia with Love has an entirely plausible "gadget" in the form of the attache case. Nothing wrong with that one. The whole idea was also to give him something to get him out of any number of bad situations. Similarly, in Casino Royale, he had and used VERY few gadgets. Mostly he got by on his grit, luck, and intelligence. In other films he uses FEWER gadgets (IE: For Your Eyes Only).
HOWEVER:
- Nobody ever recognizes James Bond.
Come on, the guy has saved the world, what, fifteen GAJILLION times? How is he still a valid secret agent?! How is it that people don't recognize him?! Especially considering MI-6 seems to have files on all his enemy operatives that show EXACTLY what they look like. Wouldn't it be reasonable for the enemy spies to be similarly briefed on what Bond looks like? Doubly so when we're talking large scale criminal enterprises with a goal of WORLD DOMINATION?!
Minor point: this actually works with gholas.
Alternative screwup: Clones are exact duplicates with the exact same genetic problems, that are grown so that their exactly identically flawed organs can be harvested for use by the evil original.
Here's a few more which are slightly related to previous points:
- There is no such thing as shrapnel or a concussive effect from explosions, except for dramatic purposes. This is why you can slowly (and coooooooly) amble away from a gigantic fireball that just destroyed the tank behind you.
- Related to the above: there is no such thing as ammunition cooking off as a result of an explosion.
- There is no such thing as a ricochet. This is why padlocks and other locked doors can effectively be opened through the use of small arms.
- The best way to survive a zombie apocalypse is to walk around in light clothing and count on a limited supply of ammunition and your own good aim to keep you safe. I, on the other hand, will be traveling the post apocalyptic zombie wastelands in a full suit of armor, with my trusty halbred and sword.
- Zombies are animated by electrical impulses originating in their brains, which is why a headshot will destroy the zombie. On a related note, zombies animated thusly have insufficient strength to run at full speed, but do have sufficient strength to rend flesh, break down doors (eventually -- when they inevitably get smart), and perform all manner of other manual tasks requiring a modicum of physical strength.
- Jason Isaacs is (almost) always a badguy.
- Sean Pertwee ALWAYS dies. And it never has anything to do with reversing the polarity of the neutron flow.
- Time bombs do not function within our experience of time.
- Time bombs are always properly constructed and never fail to explode if not properly disarmed.
- 98.73% of all people killed by knives will die from a single stab in less than 1 second from the time the knife enters their body. Nobody is ever stabbed 17 times, and nobody ever has defensive wounds. Unless their death is never depicted on screen and the police are merely investigating the scene well after the fact.
- Cops NEVER "play by the rules." And they ALWAYS get away with it.
- There is never any fallout (other than the "Captain" yelling at you while you chew gum and put your feet on his desk) for the car chase you engaged in. (Minor point: not true in To Live and Die in L.A. --- AWESOME cop film.)
- Spies are always attractive, to the point where their good looks will cause people to take notice of them. This is essential to them remaining undetected and seducing enemy agents who have no idea what they look like.
- Decompression causes people to physically explode like overinflated balloons. This is true whether it happens in space, or in a decompression chamber on dry land.
- Similarly, the human body can be hit by a car, and still be in good enough shape to engage in a 10 minute kung fu fight.
- Effective fighting requires that you hold kung fu poses for a split second after hitting your opponent, and often involves very broad moves.
- Medieval knights were always perfectly groomed, had clear skin, good teeth, and nice hair.
- A remake is a perfectly acceptable expenditure of filmmaking dollars.
Too Much Garlic
Master Member
Can't recall if it's been mentioned... but the quest for that special artifact or treasure always result in it being lost/damaged/destroyed and the hero has to run for his/her life, running from impossible items to escape from in real life - boulders, fire, nuclear explosions, implosions - as the treasure or the lost kingdom is destroyed in the last act.
That's why National Treasure was actually a bit of fresh air in that department, but it just felt strange because you as a viewer have been groomed to expect the big destruction and loss of the treasure at the end. Also... the movie rather sucked.
That's why National Treasure was actually a bit of fresh air in that department, but it just felt strange because you as a viewer have been groomed to expect the big destruction and loss of the treasure at the end. Also... the movie rather sucked.
CTF
Sr Member
HEY! What's wrong with 1941?? I love that movie.
A cast full of Abercrombe model-types who can't act but look sexy as hell. Lets see some thick chicks thrown in the mix every now and again - am I the ONLY guy left who likes girls with some curves???
defstartrooper
Sr Member
Drunk hero going from completely smashed to stone cold sober in an instant with the aid of a slap to the face and a coffee.
Dustin Crops Boy
Well-Known Member
Cyborgs with ONE metal arm and One red glowing eye thingy.
Aliens that change their human face disguise by shaking their heads to morph back to their alien face.
Small handheld gadgets/weapons that impossibly unfold into some huge elaborate device.
Squeaky car brakes.
Aliens that change their human face disguise by shaking their heads to morph back to their alien face.
Small handheld gadgets/weapons that impossibly unfold into some huge elaborate device.
Squeaky car brakes.
kalkamel
Master Member
Yeah, or with the help of tabasco sauce, cayenne pepper, chili peppers, onion, and mustard seed! :lol
Too Much Garlic
Master Member
As an off-shoot to that... when they finally do show larger women, they are nearly always portrayed as messy eaters, dumb or naive or some ***** with attitude problems because she can't stop eating.
Hollywood. STOP GIVING US CARICATURES AND STEREOTYPES. No people are clean cut only one thing.
Ttaskmaster
Well-Known Member
Aforementioned hero's secondary development arc being to conquer his alcoholism, which was only due to some tragedy involving killing a kid or the death of his family.
Introductory shots of the hero showing him drinking Scotch at home in low light, with a loaded pistol by his side... and probably a photo of whoever died.
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