Humble Beginnings

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Lady Kaizer

New Member
Just a little something the hubby and I puttered around with in AIM tonight, to try and help me get a better feel for my Huntress! Comments and feedback are 100% appreciated - I won't claim to know anything but the bare minimum concerning Predator culture, but I'm willing to learn more.

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She peered through the smoke-grey lenses of her bio-helm, hidden red eyes staring past reinforced glass to focus on the cold vastness of space. The Yautja female breathed in slowly, exhaling with a mechanical hiss that was just as steady. Drawing calm from the sight of countless stars streaking past, her thoughts drifted.

Not to the destination ahead, but instead to the clan Elder's decision which had set things in motion. She would survive this Hunt, bring back a worthy trophy and earn greater standing amongst her Clan... or fail and die, forgotten. The albino huntress turned away from the shuttle's starboard window to look over one shoulder at another Yautja, a full-Blooded male known as T'chkk.

Her companion turned his head in response, his own bio-helm limned with the dim red light inside the ship. Reaching up to press a few buttons on the instrument panel, he waited for the highly advanced computer to run the calculations. The wait wasn't long.

T'chkk returned his attention to his female companion. She was pale, shorter and slighter of build than was normal for a Yautja female. Even so, she remained a competent and formidable combatant. Her main disadvantage would be a lack of experience, this being her first Hunt in new surroundings.

She nodded, recalling the particular incident clearly - it was a story that had been passed from one Clan to another. the huntress added, briefly tapping the upper right side of her chest with a closed fist.

He paused for a moment, considering his words carefully. A beeping proximity alarm drew his attention away from her again. With the press of a colored indicator, the noise was silenced. The words had barely left his mask before the ship lurched to one side. T'chkk was nearly thrown from his seat, but managed to hang onto the instrument panel.

She growled against those restraints even as they held her head and body stable, instinctively reaching out with one taloned hand to point at her kin. the huntress exclaimed, shouting to make herself heard over the growing annoyance of the ship's alarm.

The male bellowed angrily, but took her advice all the same. Once he was secure, T'chkk continued to steer the bucking craft as it hit the atmosphere. Whatever had struck them didn't seem to have done too much damage. The guidance system was malfunctioning and the port thruster was slow to respond, but they'd be able to land safely at least.

She nodded, inwardly rebuking herself for the outburst toward one more seasoned than she. Taking another slow breath, the huntress eventually relaxed in her seat and harness, waiting for said landing with a lingering mix of excitement and mild concern. Dying from a crash-landing on Earth was not the sort of beginning she desired for this pivotal Hunt, not at all.

The shuddering of the ship's hull continued for a few tense minutes. Once they had penetrated the outer atmosphere the ride smoothed out. T'chkk ceased franticly making adjustments, settling back into a calm state of concentration. Another five minutes passed with the male hunter in silence before a dull clank reverberated through the hull, indicating that the grav locks were in place.

They had landed. T'chkk unfastened himself and stood from his seat, turning to regard his pale companion.
 

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Lady Kaizer

New Member
Glad you're enjoying the read, guys~! Rest assured I'll post more when the hubby and I get a chance to continue - we're packing and moving to another apartment, so it's gonna be a lil' crazy around here. I HATE moving.
 

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Sonic

New Member
Sounds interesting to begin and I think could be a good examination of cultural response to individuals who might appear weak or, would be bad luck or, even labled as evil. There have been several movies depicting people with hypo-pigmentation as evil saddistic killers (The Eiger Sanction, The deVinci Code, Harry Potter, The Matrix-Reloaded...)

The predator species would have similar problems associated with albinism / hypo-pigmentation: nystagmus (eye movement) for example. The head tilt to one side or the other to get the best focus. Hypo-pigmentation of the iris and retina scatters light entering the eye and then it does not get absorbed (for those not exposed to albinism) you notice the pink eyes because you see the indivdual's retinas through the normally dark eye fluid.

It would be great to read a work where real challenges from society (the alien culture here) were met with real courage and resolve. I hope to see more.
 

ancientpredator

New Member
Nice introduction. Story starts slowly but I like the details you used in which you tell more about the master-apprentice side of the story. But watch out not to go into to many detail, because when you use to many detail the plot of the story will fade away. Good plan is to give the both of them extra strength and power if not they will look a lot like humans. Go on with writing you have talent. It's your story and your story alone.
 

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