Favorite Seinfeld Line
- Thread starter The Keeper
- Start date
Two lines that always make me laugh out loud:
"vintage clothing - or as I call it - nastywear"
"...and you thought to yourself "what the hell, I'll just eat some trash"
"vintage clothing - or as I call it - nastywear"
"...and you thought to yourself "what the hell, I'll just eat some trash"
Celtic007
Sr Member
"Its like those hip musicians with their complicated shoes" - George
and from the same scene
Kramer - "well, I got gonorrhea"
Elaine- "Thats about right"
Kramer - "thats what they gave me.
George - "They?....... the government?
another favorite
George - "So, how come nothing ever happened between you and Nina? Is there a problem with her? Is she a man?"
and from the same scene
Kramer - "well, I got gonorrhea"
Elaine- "Thats about right"
Kramer - "thats what they gave me.
George - "They?....... the government?
another favorite
George - "So, how come nothing ever happened between you and Nina? Is there a problem with her? Is she a man?"
The Keeper
Active Member
"Well, let me tell you something, funny boy. Y'know that little stamp,
the one that says "New York Public Library"? Well that may not mean
anything to you, but that means a lot to me. One whole hell of a lot.
Sure, go ahead, laugh if you want to. I've seen your type before:
Flashy, making the scene, flaunting convention. Yeah, I know what you're
thinking. What's this guy making such a big stink about old library
books? Well, let me give you a hint, junior. Maybe we can live without
libraries, people like you and me. Maybe. Sure, we're too old to change
the world, but what about that kid, sitting down, opening a book, right
now, in a branch at the local library and finding drawings of pee-pees
and wee-wees on the Cat in the Hat and the Five Chinese Brothers?
Doesn't HE deserve better? Look. If you think this is about overdue
fines and missing books, you'd better think again. This is about that
kid's right to read a book without getting his mind warped! Or: maybe
that turns you on, Seinfeld; maybe that's how y'get your kicks. You and
your good-time buddies. Well I got a flash for ya, joy-boy: Party time
is over. Y'got seven days, Seinfeld. That is one week!"
the one that says "New York Public Library"? Well that may not mean
anything to you, but that means a lot to me. One whole hell of a lot.
Sure, go ahead, laugh if you want to. I've seen your type before:
Flashy, making the scene, flaunting convention. Yeah, I know what you're
thinking. What's this guy making such a big stink about old library
books? Well, let me give you a hint, junior. Maybe we can live without
libraries, people like you and me. Maybe. Sure, we're too old to change
the world, but what about that kid, sitting down, opening a book, right
now, in a branch at the local library and finding drawings of pee-pees
and wee-wees on the Cat in the Hat and the Five Chinese Brothers?
Doesn't HE deserve better? Look. If you think this is about overdue
fines and missing books, you'd better think again. This is about that
kid's right to read a book without getting his mind warped! Or: maybe
that turns you on, Seinfeld; maybe that's how y'get your kicks. You and
your good-time buddies. Well I got a flash for ya, joy-boy: Party time
is over. Y'got seven days, Seinfeld. That is one week!"
Crazy Joe Devola: "Are you still afraid of clowns?"
Kramer: "Yeahhhh."
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Jerry: "You mean the panties your mother laid out for you?"
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Crazy Joe Devola: "Pfftt, pfftt, pfftt. You hear that Jerry? I've got a hair on my tongue. But you already knew that, because you put it there. I heard you put the kibash on my with the NBC execs. Now I'm gonna put the kibosh on you."
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Psychiatrist: "Could I offer you something to drink, umm, coffee, anything?"
Kramer: "Okay, uh yeah, I'll have ahh...you have a decaf cappucino?"
Psychiatrist: "I don't think we have that."
Kramer: "Well that's a little strange."
Psychiatrist: "Uh, why does that surprise you?"
Kramer: "Well it's uh, it's a very popular drink."
Psychiatrist: "This is an office."
Kramer: "That's true."
The Wook
Kramer: "Yeahhhh."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jerry: "You mean the panties your mother laid out for you?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Crazy Joe Devola: "Pfftt, pfftt, pfftt. You hear that Jerry? I've got a hair on my tongue. But you already knew that, because you put it there. I heard you put the kibash on my with the NBC execs. Now I'm gonna put the kibosh on you."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Psychiatrist: "Could I offer you something to drink, umm, coffee, anything?"
Kramer: "Okay, uh yeah, I'll have ahh...you have a decaf cappucino?"
Psychiatrist: "I don't think we have that."
Kramer: "Well that's a little strange."
Psychiatrist: "Uh, why does that surprise you?"
Kramer: "Well it's uh, it's a very popular drink."
Psychiatrist: "This is an office."
Kramer: "That's true."
The Wook
What's the phone call frequency?
Daily.
Spending weekends together, is it something you have to plan or is it assumed?
Assumed.
Let me ask you this: is there any Tampax in your house?
...Yeah.
Well I'll tell ya what you've got there, my friend.
Yeah?
You've got yourself a girlfriend.
Daily.
Spending weekends together, is it something you have to plan or is it assumed?
Assumed.
Let me ask you this: is there any Tampax in your house?
...Yeah.
Well I'll tell ya what you've got there, my friend.
Yeah?
You've got yourself a girlfriend.
Son of Skywalker
Well-Known Member
Jerry: No, no this woman is different , she's incredible. she's just like me. She talks like me, she acts like me. She even ordered cereal at a restaurant. We even have the same initials. Wait a minute, I just realised what's going on.
Kramer: What?
Jerry: Now I know what I've been looking for all these years......myself!
I've been waiting for me to come along and now I 've swept myself off my feet.
Kramer: You stop it man.. you're FREAKING ME OUT!!!
Kramer: What?
Jerry: Now I know what I've been looking for all these years......myself!
I've been waiting for me to come along and now I 've swept myself off my feet.
Kramer: You stop it man.. you're FREAKING ME OUT!!!
robn1
Master Member
Kramer- What does the little man inside you say. You have to listen to the little man.
George- My little man doesn't know.
Kramer- The little man knows.
George- My little man is an idiot.
George- Kramer goes to a fantasy camp? His whole life is a fantasy camp, people should plunk down two thousand dollars to live like him for a week. Do nothing, fall ass backwards into money, mooch food off your neighbors and have sex without dating, that's a fantasy camp.
George- My little man doesn't know.
Kramer- The little man knows.
George- My little man is an idiot.
George- Kramer goes to a fantasy camp? His whole life is a fantasy camp, people should plunk down two thousand dollars to live like him for a week. Do nothing, fall ass backwards into money, mooch food off your neighbors and have sex without dating, that's a fantasy camp.
GEORGE: All right. Let's go over it again, one more time.
JERRY: All right. So I tell Sandy that I want to have a ménage à trois with her and her roommate.
GEORGE: That's right.
JERRY: And you believe this course of action will have a two-pronged effect. Firstly, the very mention of the idea will cause Sandy to recoil in disgust, whereupon she will insist that I remove myself from the premises.
GEORGE: Keep going.
JERRY: At this point, it is inevitable that she will seek out the roommate to apprise her of this abhorrent turn of events.
GEORGE: Continue.
JERRY: The roommate will then offer her friend the requisite sympathy even as part of her cannot help but feel somewhat flattered by her inclusion in the unusual request.
GEORGE: A few days go by and a call is placed at a time when Sandy is known to be busy at work. Once the initial awkwardness is relieved with a little playful humor, which she of course cannot resist, an invitation to a friendly dinner is proffered.
JERRY: Huh. Well, it all sounds pretty good. There's only one flaw in it: They're roommates. She'd have to go out with me behind Sandy's back. She's not gonna do that.
GEORGE: You disappoint me, my friend. Sandy wants nothing to do with you. She tells Laura, "If you want to waste your time with that pervert, that's your problem."
JERRY: It's a perfect plan. So inspired. So devious. Yet so simple.
GEORGE: This is what I do.
--------
GEORGE: So what happened?
JERRY: She's into it.
GEORGE: Into what?
JERRY: The manage. And not only that. She just called me and said she talked to the roommate and the roomate's into the manag,e too.
GEORGE: That's unbelievable.
JERRY: Oh, it's a scene man.
GEORGE: Do you ever just get down on your knees and thank God that you know me, and have access to my dementia?
JERRY: What are you talking about? I'm not gonna to do it.
GEORGE: You're not gonna to do it? What do you mean, you're not gonna to do it?
JERRY: I can't. I'm not an orgy guy.
GEORGE: Are you crazy? This is like discovering Plutonium, by accident!
JERRY: All right. So I tell Sandy that I want to have a ménage à trois with her and her roommate.
GEORGE: That's right.
JERRY: And you believe this course of action will have a two-pronged effect. Firstly, the very mention of the idea will cause Sandy to recoil in disgust, whereupon she will insist that I remove myself from the premises.
GEORGE: Keep going.
JERRY: At this point, it is inevitable that she will seek out the roommate to apprise her of this abhorrent turn of events.
GEORGE: Continue.
JERRY: The roommate will then offer her friend the requisite sympathy even as part of her cannot help but feel somewhat flattered by her inclusion in the unusual request.
GEORGE: A few days go by and a call is placed at a time when Sandy is known to be busy at work. Once the initial awkwardness is relieved with a little playful humor, which she of course cannot resist, an invitation to a friendly dinner is proffered.
JERRY: Huh. Well, it all sounds pretty good. There's only one flaw in it: They're roommates. She'd have to go out with me behind Sandy's back. She's not gonna do that.
GEORGE: You disappoint me, my friend. Sandy wants nothing to do with you. She tells Laura, "If you want to waste your time with that pervert, that's your problem."
JERRY: It's a perfect plan. So inspired. So devious. Yet so simple.
GEORGE: This is what I do.
--------
GEORGE: So what happened?
JERRY: She's into it.
GEORGE: Into what?
JERRY: The manage. And not only that. She just called me and said she talked to the roommate and the roomate's into the manag,e too.
GEORGE: That's unbelievable.
JERRY: Oh, it's a scene man.
GEORGE: Do you ever just get down on your knees and thank God that you know me, and have access to my dementia?
JERRY: What are you talking about? I'm not gonna to do it.
GEORGE: You're not gonna to do it? What do you mean, you're not gonna to do it?
JERRY: I can't. I'm not an orgy guy.
GEORGE: Are you crazy? This is like discovering Plutonium, by accident!
The Keeper
Active Member
Treadwell you left out the best part!
Im not a porn guy! I would need shag carpeting and new drapes.....
Im not a porn guy! I would need shag carpeting and new drapes.....
The episode where Kramer gets hooked on Kenny Rogers chicken...
Jerry: "I'd say you have a little problem...."
Kramer: (On his knees): "I've got a BIG problem Jerry!!!"
Jerry: "I'd say you have a little problem...."
Kramer: (On his knees): "I've got a BIG problem Jerry!!!"
Celtic007
Sr Member
Kramer yelling from his window: "STAY AWAY FROM CHICKEN! BAD. BAD CHICKEN. MESS YOU UP!" :lol
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