That is pretty much exactly how I feel. I've noticed a bit of double standard between people already in and those trying to get in as well.
Hey gang! I'm a member of the 501st and it's really unfortunate that this has been the experience of several of you. I'm not surprised from the perspective of just considering the nature of people who get passionate about something and then get very protective of it when other people take an interest. I am surprised though when I think of what we do as an organization with all of the charity work and efforts to bring joy to people. That's disappointing.
From my experience, understanding other people's perspectives can go a long way. Here are a few things I've come to understand from being in the group for a while now.
1) People are all different and don't all join for the same reasons. Some people are very heavy into the charity and some people are very heavy into hand-building screen-accurate suits. Some people are just obsessed with Star Wars and get involved with whatever they can. Many of us are a mix of all three. None of this requires that you're particularly friendly or helpful, just that you want to get involved. For myself, I really enjoy making people happy and using Star Wars fandom to do it because it's very rewarding for the little kid in front of me and myself all at the same time. I can only imagine how I would have reacted to seeing a Stormtrooper as a child! Part of that reaction though is due to supreme accuracy so we take a lot of pride in doing things right. A new armor kit that shows up out of the blue that no one has actually seen is very hard to jump all over because we heavily review and criticize all of our options out there. This probably starts conversations out with a lot of 501st members having hesitance because we don't really know what we're dealing with yet.
2) People have poured a lot of their time, energy and money over the years coming up with screen-accurate costumes and techniques and things are changing in a big way right now. All of a sudden there are these unknown kits available in huge quantities for a reasonable price but with little known about what's being delivered and it's flooding the forums and the social networks with a lot of questions and a lot of confusion. For example, there are currently several providers of armor right now each with their own nuances. The accuracy, price range, waiting list time, etc all vary quite a bit from option to option. Those nuances are well documented in places like whitearmor.net and have taken a lot of research to review. This new ANOVOS suit is an all new entity that no one knows anything about so I think some people are over-reacting a bit. It's not like in the past where there was one person saying "Hey, check out this new type of armor". It's hundreds of people. This kit might turn out to be one of the more inaccurate options and understandably that would be a step back for the screen-accuracy efforts made over the years. On the other hand, it could turn out to be very accurate and solve the problem of huge wait times for good armor, thus making it much easier for people to get involved. We just don't know right now. I for one am on the optimistic side of thinking that they'll likely do it well, so we should be happy and welcoming to those who want to join as we did because it will only lead to more smiles and more Star Wars for everyone! I personally bought one of these kits because I'm very curious if I could end up with another quality set of TK armor for a ridiculous $350!
3) Building these kits takes a lot of work and a lot of research and you go a long way in showing you're willing to do that work. When people take an interest in the 501st, there are people who range from "I'm stuck on this part. Can anyone help?" all the way to "Hey, tell me all the answers so I don't have to figure it out". If you're willing to do work, I think most 501st people would be happy to help because we have a motto which is "Troopers helping Troopers." Long time members though have been burned over the years by eager people who start flooding them with questions with no intention of doing the research and familiarizing themselves with what is already available. That's tough because no one here gets paid to do this and many people have families, careers, etc. A willingness to work goes a long way with smoothing people over.
This isn't intended to be a large list of excuses - more just trying to present the various perspectives of who you might be talking with. It in no way condones rudeness, condescension, or anything of the sort. All in all, I have met a TON of really good and friendly people in the 501st, especially in my local garrison, the Dune Sea Garrison. My suggestion is to not judge the whole organization but instead try to be understanding of where people are coming from and if you find someone difficult to deal with, just move on like you would in any other facet of life. Find those people that will work with you and are reasonable and helpful and stick with that. Above all, don't rely on online forums - get in touch with your local garrison and meet some people because people generally work together much better face to face than online.
Best of luck and keep up the fight! Being part of the 501st is amazing and life-changing because you get to enjoy the heck out of Star Wars and make people's day on a regular basis!