darthjones, it's interesting to me to have seen, over the years, what people can and can't absorb. I have enjoyed Star Trek since as far back as I can remember, but it didn't "click" for me until I was 11 or so. But from there, I was such a full-on Trekkie, it scares even me. Made my first solo costume at 13 (TNG first-season jumpsuit), was designing my own ships and writing my own fanfic. All this was in the late '80s. By the time the internet was beginning to be a thing, I was in Star Trek chatrooms on AOL, I was on the rec.arts.startrek.tech newsgroup (remember those?) arguing technical minutiæ, continuity, ship design, and doing deep lore delves (like trying to ID all forty ships at Wolf 359 -- currently we're stalled out at fifteen named, plus four to six additional unnamed). And not just fans -- we were discussing this stuff with Mike Okuda and Rick Sternbach and David Stipe and occasionally Ed Miarecki, Andy Probert, and John Eaves.
As newsgroups went away, a lot of folks transitioned to TrekBBS, but that forum bothers me more than it doesn't. I spent most of my time on another forum with some of the more deliberate and thoughtful folks from the newsgroup -- several of whom I'm frinds with to this day. But by the time all we had on the air was Voyager, it was getting harder to stay engaged. The TNG movies had been something of a let-down, and DS9 was over. Then Enterprise happened, and, after my initial grumbling that it was trying to be both the early voyages of NCC-1701 under Robert April and a story of the Founding of the Federation a century earlier, and ended up doing neither very well... Let's say that by the time Enterprise was cancelled, I hadn't been on that forum for a couple years. In my 20s, my shoulders filled out, and none of the uniforms I'd made in high school fit any more. I still haven't re-made them, twenty years later.
With JJ-Trek, it got even harder to keep liking Star Trek. I still had all my old novels and comics, I had my DVDs, I had -- and have -- my models... But not many people to talk to about it. Contemporary Trek wasn't "my" Trek any more. But I love and miss what it was in its heyday, so I've been fighting my way back. Dusting off unfinished models and remembering what I was doing, revising my patterns and research on the uniforms and props, even starting to accumulate raw materials again. I'm still furious at how Trek has been mishandled since the late '90s, but the good stuff is still there, and that's what I'm dredging back into the light to share with people.
Over in Star Wars land, the 501st is so dysfunctional some local and online crap that happened turned me away from Imperial costuming (or wanting to still join the club) for a good decade.
And so on. But what originally "sparked joy", to borrow a phrase, is still there, and the other junk can only squelch that temporarily. At least for me. I can't fathom getting rid of it all. Or rather, I
can, but the ultimate conclusion of that line of thinking is killing myself. *shrug* This really
is my
raison d'être. If I don't have it, if I can't do it, if I just become another resource-consuming economic cog, why frikkin' bother? I don't like that conclusion, so I fight to retain my enjoyment. It's hard sometimes, when the people in charge of the properties I love most keep screwing them up, but reinforcing the good stuff helps keep in on the radar -- not just for me, but for others. And, even when I've walked away from one or more of them for a while in frustration and/or disgust, I've found my way back again. Even when it takes years or decades. And after my first time experiencing that pendulum swing and back, and regretted the heck out of the stuff I'd gotten rid of (and spent a lot of money and time getting as much of it back as I could), I've learned to wait out that depressive-purge phase.
Despite your bitterness and frustration and anger, I know you still remember what it is about this universe that has kept you in it for so long. Talk to me about that -- via PM, if you like, so as not to drag this waaaaay off-topic -- and let's see if the guttering flame of creative purpose can be kept going.
Meantime, I'm keeping one eye on the lawsuit, waiting for the three things I have on order with ANOVOS, and doing my best to focus on the fifty million other things clamoring for my time and attention. Heck, even the things peripheral to my orders -- the rest of the stuff needed to do the First Order Stormtrooper, my own build of the Trek movie-era uniform undershirt and trousers... Takes more than one licensee to kill this for me.