How do you handle freebie requests from friends?

HarleyCyn

HarleyCyn

New Member
Two months away from a major convention. I'm neck-deep in costumes I need to finish and prop weapons I'm making for paying clients.

Then I get the message from a cosplay buddy: "How long would it take us to make (oversized huge prop)? Can we do it before the big con?"

No mention of money and, knowing this person, they don't have any to offer. They are not a crafter. They don't make their own stuff so they have no supplies to chip in or knowledge of what to get even if they did want to offer. Which they haven't. So 'we' in this sense would be me doing everything while they collect the end result.

I told them I had three major things to finish before I could take on another project. I then went on to tell them if we made it the quickest, cheapest way possible (out of poster board and duct tape) it would take about a day or two. What I got back in reply was "Oh. Um. LOL."

I haven't picked the convo up from there. Not quite sure what to say, you know? I've never had to deal with this sort of approach from someone before so I don't know what the best method is to deal with requests like these without causing drama.

What's your experience? How do you handle it when folks you know ask you for stuff por gratis?
 
The way I, personally, handle it is simple. If it sounds like a fun project I work something out. If it's something I'm not interested in I tell them I'm too busy to do it now and give them a realistic time frame. If it's something that is just a money pit that I don't want to do I say I can't do it. If I have things I've previously committed to, paying or not, they have to wait their turn. I've done a ton of non paying work for people, but I've also said no. This is not a cheap hobby, so sometimes you have to say no. I would never put a paying project to the side for a "favor" project. I don't know if anything in this dissertation helps but it boils down to this... It's perfectly alright to say no to a project.
 
This will continue to happen unless you have a heart-to-heart with him. Just be honest and tell him that you don't really have the time and reduces to make his stuff. If he gets upset with this then maybe it's time to reevaluate your relationship with him.
 
i'd only do it if i had an excess of the materials required....and the time to do it.
if you don't have both its a no go!
one or the other won't cut it.

honestly they can't get pissed off about it for asking for something for free.
i'd just say "hay if you want it bad enough put in some time or pony up some cash....cuz i ain't freaking santa claus!"
sadly enough some people have to hear it or they will just keep coming back over and over wanting free stuff.
 
Doing several volunteer gigs (museum, my HOA), I've learned the value to being honest and unemotional when saying, "No, I can't do it right now." If the response is, "Well, when can you?" or "is it a matter of money or time" or "can you show me how [probably means coaching]" ... then you can get into the nitty gritty of your other commitments and priorities not leaving room for taking on this new project.

It's selfish, but in a good way, that you have things you're trying to finish yourself. You'd be unfair to yourself if you fouled up your own interests to take on this person's.

Of course, this is presuming a zero-sum friendship/relationship. If this is someone close, or someone who has helped you in the past, then the balance scales tip a bit. But all things being equal, there's someone asking for your help, adn someone asking you to perform the activity. They're very different things.

BTW, give yourself points for thinking about this sensibly and holding yourself to account, even to the point of asking others. I wish there were more people in this world who considered the effect on others before opening their mouths.


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Just say no, sorry, I can't do that. It doesn't make you a mean person. You can't go through life being someone charity case nor should anyone expect you to be.

All of this stuff costs money and unless they are going to at least pay for their materials, then the answer is, sorry, no, I can't do it.

Besides, your stuff comes first.
 
If you have paying clients, you can't push them back for someone non-paying. I have a really good friend I pester when I have a complex math or physics question. He comes to me on car stuff. It's all info trading and if he's done even more for me, I will usually throw something his way. Typically tools. It sounds like you would be doing everything and gaining nothing. It's a lose/lose.
 
I don't understand people who expect things for nothing like that. I've built a few things for people for free, and likewise had stuff made for me, but its always been the builder that's suggested it.

This is doubly so if this is something you're actually doing to make some income. Then the person doing so is potentially even taking money out of your pocket as its time you could have spent making something to sell.

I'd not give it too much further thought. Get on with the stuff you need to get done and if they bring it up again I personally would reply with ballpark figures for how much it'd cost...but I'm not very nice XD
 
If he's a good friend, you could tell him that you are spread too thin, or in "over your head" working to complete props for paying customers. He may or may not get the hint that way, but either way, you are being brutally honest with the guy. You could also suggest a YouTube tutorial video that shows him on his own how to make whatever it is he needs, and tell him you wish you had more time to help him, but that "he has to understand the predicament" you're in....and leave it there!


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In my experience, the people you know the least ask for the most. Consider how much your time is worth, especially if you're not getting paid.
 
As a lawyer I could tell you but I would have to charge you for your request for "free advice"! [emoji23]


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Unless they know exactly what they want and are willing to do their part and pay,

RUNAWAY!!!

It is always easier to waste someoneELSE's time and money.

Also: 1)time. 2)Cost 3)ease of use. PICK TWO
 
i started planning making a proton pack and a friend was all 'I'VE ALWAYS WANTED ONE, CAN YOU MAKE ME ONE TOO?'

I said cool, i don't mind, i can make two at one, it's be quite fun, did my sums of what i'd need and said 'Cheapest we're looking at, for a half decent one is about £60 of materials, not to mention the time'

Which was waaaaaaay out of their predicted price range, and that's if my time was completely worthless.

So you've just got to say 'i don't think you have any idea how much work it would be to do what you're asking', which is a weird thing to say, because they obviously do, otherwise they wouldn't ask you to do it.
 
The best way to handle freebee requests from friends you know are not willing to reimburse you for time and money is a very friendly but firm, "sorry I don't have the time now. I'm swamped with ____ and ____ AND ____". Do it with a big smile and let it drop! Case closed. :)
 
If I have a spare casting sell it to them at cost of materials, if i have an off casting i'll usually just give it to them. Starting from scratch for free I don't do unless its something I have been looking at making anyway, in this case I will ask them to split the cost of materials.
 
My approach when someone asks for something in that fashion is to reply immediately with how much it would cost. I usually know if the person is fishing for a freebie, so either I'm giving them a good estimate of what they need to save if they're serious, or they're getting a strong hint that I'm not doing it for free.

I'm not above giving nice stuff to people as gifts, but that's always on my terms.
 
Typically I'll give them a rough estimate of what it would actually cost. Usually they have no idea what's really involved. Then I'll try to point them toward a cheaper option they can do themselves or maybe find someone else to do. If the difference in quality matters to them, they'll see the value in the original estimate. If the cheesier option is good enough, then they'll walk away happy.
 
freebees for friends? erm, no plain and simple no.

i do make them stuff but material cost times two, no deadline. at least i dont charge for my time.
 
My experience falls in woodworking, not prop making. But I always charge for materials, and I am happy to provide them receipts to show how much I paid for them. If it is relatively small and I have the scraps around I'll do about 50% of what I would pay for that material since it probably won't be used anywhere else. Time charges directly depend on how good of a friend they are. Family gets the project free or at material cost. Really good friends just get rounded up to the nearest $50 or $100 level to cover time. Good friends ask for a price and we negotiate from there.

It seems like making furniture and prop-making are similar in that most people have no idea how expensive materials can get or the amount of time that can go into a seemingly simple project. Tell them what you would normally charge for the project and ways that you might be able to reduce that cost if he chips in on time and labor if he is willing to learn the processes. But like many others have said, friends asking for a favor come after any pay customers and remain at the end of the line as new paying projects come in.
 
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