Re: John Long Phaser 1 Kit Buildup plus MM P2 Restoration
So after having puzzled out how I was going to hold my handle innards in place in order to get just the right spacing for a solid fit for the batteries against the terminals, I finally had an epiphany about five minutes before it was time to work on it. I locked the butt plug in place between the tang nut and a steel hardware nut, and the interior terminals between two steel nuts. I was incredibly proud of myself for sussing that out like a real prop genius...
And that's when I noticed the problem with my spring terminals...
They weren't holding the batteries straight enough, and the nuts and washers were rotating around to the outside, right where they were sure to short out against the walls of the handle. I was no longer quite so proud of myself...
Happen to you these things do, because uppity tw@t you are.
Then, I had a real stroke of luck: While sanding down the sides of those washers in the hope of keeping them from shorting against the handle walls, the disk sander caught my piece and pulled it down into the pit underneath the disk. Because that pit is closed up on all sides, there was no way to retrieve it without having the staff dismantle the whole machine, which would cost me time and probably p!$$ them off. So I had to make a new one, and fast.
I went picking through my brass hardware and couldn't find the same screw/washer combo... but I did find a lot of it in smaller sizes. That was when I finally realized the obvious and decided all I needed was smaller hardware...
Uppity tw@t and complete ***ktard, make that.
Much more better nice! I also ground out the round holes a bit so that I could slide the terminals a little more to the center. This got them even farther away from the walls, and improved the battery holding.
One final voltage/continuity check before I commit (because like all men, I fear commitment. And roaches.):
Then I just cut the second bolt down with the cutoff wheel, and potted those puppies in with JB Kwik. I totally went to town. Then I came back and put on lots more epoxy.
That was when I had my second epiphany: I had to attach the wires to the battery assembly, not the plug, or I'd have a helluva time installing everything. So I moved the wires over, and now I had a finished battery assembly. YAAAAAAY!!!!
Why do I keep thinking about roaches?
Of course, I tested it again, and still got my 3V. At this point it was really paranoia, because this is probably the simplest circuit known to man, and even beginners can do great with it. But, you know, maybe it was my fear of commitment, maybe it was the roaches, maybe it was the roach that kept trying to get me to commit... whatever it was, I tested the circuit every time I finished a step.
So now, complete pu$$y must I also add.
Tw@t, ***ktard and pu$$y...
Some kind of loser trifecta you have hit.
Then I epoxied the battery assembly into place, butt plug and all, and thought I'd get fancy and add heat-shrink tubing. Got melted insulation for my trouble.
It's really amazing how such a tiny brain moves your
legs and your bowels and still has enough power left
over to make you do such creatively stupid ****.
Fortunately though, those wires don't show, so I didn't bother to replace them. I just removed the heat shrink tubing, because it also made the wires harder to connect to the plug. I like to screw things up as thoroughly as possible. That's just how I roll.
Here, you can see how nicely the battery compartment works with the smaller hardware. I also potted in this side of the compartment. So it's held in place in the center on both sides, and around the edges on both sides. It should stay there just fine.
And finally, we get to the plug. I cut down the prongs with my cutoff wheel and checked the fit -- it was great!
Then I pared down the brass connectors around the sides till I got a nice, loose fit. That's because I needed to put electrical tape over the connectors to keep them from shorting against the walls of the handle.
Unfortunately, I completely forgot to take a photo of the electrical tape in place...
No photo?! Were you just phoning this in, you hopeless pud??
Also, if you take another look at the photo with the prongs, you can see where my cutoff wheel slipped. Yikes! The last thing I managed to get done by midnight was to hog out the center of another wood wafer to make room for the prongs, and epoxy putty them in place with JB Steel.
That was it, it was time to clean up and leave before the staff released the hounds. All I have left to do is pot that top rim with JB Kwik, and Evercoat the crap out of the whole top, then create my plywood circular wafer for the top of the handle. After that, I'm back to putty/sand/primer/sandsandsand/putty/repeat, and then a final paint job away from my hiatus.
Back here soon with the action from home.
