Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

Shylaah

Shylaah

Sr Member
The rumblings are getting louder for POTC 5. Do you think we can stand any more of Captain Jack Sparrow?

Beyond the Seas' World, hmmmm, you think we're in for more no ship nor sailing action? A land lubber film?

Can't believe someone is trying to pass off this very wordy fanfic as the plot of the new movie! They lost me at Captain Elizabeth Swann.....but man, they do bring in every element from the first four films!!
Pirates of The Caribbean 5: Beyond The Seas World (Complete Leaked Screenplay) | Newsflavor

I really liked POTC 4, On Stranger Tides. I think it's my favorite of the four, but I just don't know if I'm ready for a #5.......

.......and with the rumored Depp Vanessa split, gotta wonder if it's mid-life crisis time for JD?

Should be some interesting pirate things as we move into summer.

Shylaah
 
Re: Pirates of the Caribbean 5, Beyond the Seas World

The Pirates movies make the prequels look like masterpieces.
 
Re: Pirates of the Caribbean 5, Beyond the Seas World

Tru dat, CTF, although I'd say they more or less all suffered from the same problems of bloat. But, no, please no Pirates 5.
Although there's good fun to be had from Depp in the first one, and Rush every single moment he's onscreen in any of them (particularly the end of 2 - that was awesome) there was nothing to sustain a franchise there (and certainly not from Knightly or Bloom). It got infinitely worse as Depp played to audience expectations and moved Jack from being a brilliant pirate who occasionally played the clown to the clown occasionally playing at being a brilliant pirate as the films went on (and on, and on....jeebus, I didn't think 3 would ever end).

McShane should have been perfect and unbelievably cool as Blackbeard, but wasn't given anything to do. Cruz was never going to be bringing anything interesting to the table. Depp can sleepwalk his way through that character at this point and so had no surprises to give us.

I think the world is ready for more cool pirates, but not 'of the Caribbean'. I think it's about time for either the Sea Hawk or Captain Blood to have a new adaptation.
 
Re: Pirates of the Caribbean 5, Beyond the Seas World

Timmythekid said:
Tru dat, CTF, although I'd say they more or less all suffered from the same problems of bloat.
Click to expand...

Tru dat indeed, inevitable black gang member. The bloat was present in the first film - did they really have to go BACK to the damn island? - but it got away with it via flair and humour. I find it a bit sad that the sequels shone such a torch on the problems shared by the first film.

It got infinitely worse as Depp played to audience expectations and moved Jack from being a brilliant pirate who occasionally played the clown to the clown occasionally playing at being a brilliant pirate as the films went on (and on, and on....jeebus, I didn't think 3 would ever end).
Click to expand...

I agree so hard. Depp was phoning it in in the fourth film; Sparrow is a hollow character now. Really nobody came out of 4 well, even Rush. McShane had the look down pat...he IS unbelievably cool as Blackbeard...in stills.

God that script was undercooked. Where did the magic sword even come from? What the hell is the fountain of youth anyway, and why is it related to mermaids at all? Why not establish up front that the Spanish were coming to destroy the thing - that could at least have helped with the tension a bit. And why not at least shoot the Pearl for some new sailing scenes before rebuilding her as the QAR? And once converted...why *waste* the damn QAR so totally?! It almost seemed like a cheap way to eke a bit more income out of some existing prop and costume assets before they fell apart. A piratical Splinter of the Mind's Eye.

Just don't get it. Dog's breakfast of a movie.
 
Re: Pirates of the Caribbean 5, Beyond the Seas World

I fell asleep halfway through two, and turned off three about an hour in. I'd rather jump into a pit of starving Rottweilers wearing a pork chop thong than have to sit through any more of that crap.
 
Re: Pirates of the Caribbean 5, Beyond the Seas World

I didn't like the first one, so gave up after that. Did the last one make money?
 
Re: Pirates of the Caribbean 5, Beyond the Seas World

First one was highly entertaining and I quite enjoy it. I bought the second one sight-unseen and blew $14 or so on it. I've only watched it once.

Bloat is absolutely a key problem. The first one had a tight enough story and a good enough balance between characters. People loved Captain Jack because he was new and entertaining, but ALSO, I think, because the first film DIDN'T give the audience what it thought it wanted: non-stop Jack Sparrow. It tempered that by having Knightly and Bloom in the film, as well as Rush and others.

The 2nd film started shifting the focus, but also got WAY too ambitious and became more about spectacle than clever story. Which is not to say that the first film was all THAT clever as story goes, but it was clever enough and fresh enough to do the job. The remaining films have all suffered from terrible sequilitis: giving audiences the exact same thing as in #1, only louder, faster, and with bigger set-piece battles and explosions.

Bo-ring.


I Netflixed the 3rd one and found it intensely boring. I Netflixed the 4th one and haven't finished it yet. I've been watching it in fits and starts, and it just seems so...I dunno...tired. The writing's been pretty bad in it. Cruz and Depp don't really have screen chemistry. The material Depp and Rush and McShane have been given is all either waaaaay hammy or just dull. And, again, there's too much damn bloat. Too many badguys, too many steps and plots and plans, too many "You must do XYZ to complete the ritual, along with 47 other things...." and I really just don't give a damn about any of it.


I suppose the first one was really a fluke. A film based on a carnival ride that turned out to be surprisingly entertaining. The remaining three have really just been the carnival ride and that's it.
 
Re: Pirates of the Caribbean 5, Beyond the Seas World

Some movies are big, complex, and satisfyling, like a steak and lobster.

But who would want steak and lobster for every meal every day?

Sometimes you just want a ham sandwich.

POTC is a ham sandwich.

Watching movies and complaining about them is like eating a steak and being disappointed it doesn't take like a banana.

Sometimes movies are marketed all wrong, and you go in expecting a comedy and get a drama. I blame studios for caring more about getting people into theaters than correctly portraying what their movie is about. But now we all know what POTC is. Don't watch it if what you really want to see is a serious movie. Its just silly fun.
 
Re: Pirates of the Caribbean 5, Beyond the Seas World

Yeah, but there's silly fun that's well executed, and silly fun that's poorly executed.

The first film is silly fun and a rip-roaring good time. It's not high art, but it's solidly entertaining and has its elements well in balance. The remainder of the films lack the first film's balance, and, at least to my eye, become increasingly focused on showcasing what's most easily marketable rather than what makes for a good story -- even a good silly fun story. Specifically, the subsequent films heavily emphasize Jack Sparrow's character (who was really just 1/3 of the trio in the first film), and really lean on big showcase action sequences and special effects, without much tying them together. And the action sequences themselves aren't even that exciting -- they're overlong, needlessly complicated, and get to be both ridiculous and boring after a while.


So, to run with your ham sammich analogy, if the first film is a ham sammich, it's a ham sammich where all the elements are perfectly balanced. The bread is moist but not soggy, the ham itself is flavorful with just the right touch of salt -- not too much, not too little -- the condiments are exactly what you prefer on your ham sammich, and it's got the right kind of cheese that you like, too. It's also cut just the way you like it (whether that's diagonally or "up and down").

The subsequent films recognized the success of "ham" as a central element, and so offered a sammich which was "hammier" by being increasingly salty, and where the ham was even thicker than in the last sammich. Condiments were an afterthought, and the bread was either too soggy or too stale, not to mention pretty flimsy to hold together the whole sammich. Oh, and the cheese went from your favorite kind to the kind that was most visually striking (let's say bright orange cheddar, because brighter orange cheeses sell better, even if they don't quite work as well as, say, a milder cheddar would've).

:)
 
Re: Pirates of the Caribbean 5, Beyond the Seas World

rodneyfaile said:
Some movies are big, complex, and satisfyling, like a steak and lobster.

But who would want steak and lobster for every meal every day?

Sometimes you just want a ham sandwich.

POTC is a ham sandwich.

Watching movies and complaining about them is like eating a steak and being disappointed it doesn't take like a banana.

Sometimes movies are marketed all wrong, and you go in expecting a comedy and get a drama. I blame studios for caring more about getting people into theaters than correctly portraying what their movie is about. But now we all know what POTC is. Don't watch it if what you really want to see is a serious movie. Its just silly fun.
Click to expand...

No it's not just silly fun. It's boring. I can enjoy "popcorn entertainment" as much as the next guy but the POTC sequels (and the TF movies I might as well add as an example) are BORING. BORING BORING BORING. That's the exact opposite of what I want in a popcorn movie. I want 90 minutes of lighthearted escapist fare. The POTC sequels had me checking my watch. I would literally, no ****, rather do yard work than sit down to that dull ass crap.

I am not against ham sandwiches. I enjoy cinematic junkfood. But that doesn't mean I'll just put whatever is in front of me in my mouth. I'll take a ham sandwich, but damned if I'll choke on a **** one.

So Robocop is brilliant, Robocop 2 is a lot of fun but not as good, and Robocop 3 is unwatchable crap. You could do the same with Terminator, or Predator, Die Hard, or a million other popular franchises, and to act like being critical of lesser installments is being snobby seems...weird. YOU CAN HAVE GOOD, WELL-MADE POPCORN ENTERTAINMENT. Look at Die Hard and then watch Die Hard 4 immediately after and tell me they're even in the same ballpark. Or city. Or solar system.
 
Last edited:
Re: Pirates of the Caribbean 5, Beyond the Seas World

Please, PLEASE, stop with the PotC movies. This is just classic Disney, scrounging for money.

The over-played sensibility of this last one and what they did with PotC 3, killed my love for the series. They just need to learn when to stop -_-. As does Depp. He's only doing this because his kids are enthralled with Sparrow.
 
Re: Pirates of the Caribbean 5, Beyond the Seas World

I was pretty disappointed by the fourth, but I'm one of the few who's a big fan of the third, so, I don't now :confused. At least Verbinski & Co didn't play it safe.
 
Re: Pirates of the Caribbean 5, Beyond the Seas World

Dutchman said:
I was pretty disappointed by the fourth, but I'm one of the few who's a big fan of the third, so, I don't now :confused. At least Verbinski & Co didn't play it safe.
Click to expand...


How do you figure? Because from my dim recollection of the sequels, they were entirely "played safe." They basically gave you more of the same, only dumbed down and more in your face, and with amped up action sequences and more spectacular visuals. Is that not the very definition of "playing it safe," also known as "sequelitis?"

Don't get me wrong. One man's pleasure is another man's poison. Just because they played it safe doesn't mean the film isn't enjoyable. But I'd think even fans of the sequels would see them as still "playing it safe."
 
Re: Pirates of the Caribbean 5, Beyond the Seas World

Solo4114 said:
How do you figure? Because from my dim recollection of the sequels, they were entirely "played safe." They basically gave you more of the same, only dumbed down and more in your face, and with amped up action sequences and more spectacular visuals. Is that not the very definition of "playing it safe," also known as "sequelitis?"

Don't get me wrong. One man's pleasure is another man's poison. Just because they played it safe doesn't mean the film isn't enjoyable. But I'd think even fans of the sequels would see them as still "playing it safe."
Click to expand...

Well, I'm a fan of the two sequels, and I seriously had to redifine my definition on "playing it safe" after seeing the fourth. Compared to On Stranger Tides, the previous two movies are VERY adventuras, in many different ways.

Off course(!) it's ALL safe-play, we ARE talking about commercial movies here, created to become blockbusters anyway.

But within those limitations (...) I still think Verbinski did some crazy *****!
 
Re: Pirates of the Caribbean 5, Beyond the Seas World

Absolutely loved the first film...Liked but didn't love the second and third...And I didn't really have high hopes for the 4th at all.

Since I went in with pretty low expectations, I was somewhat surprised. I actually enjoyed it...(but i only paid a matinee price) :)

My take on the original three is this...They tried to simply introduce way too much stuff in the last two films. When they wrote the first one, they had no idea if it would be successful or not. Had they introduced a few of the core concepts that drove 2 and 3 into the first film, then those two subsequent films MIGHT not have seemed so forced and bloated.

Obviously the big question going into 4 was in regards to Depp carrying the film as the lead hero. He was the comic relief in the first, and even though he inched closer to "hero" status in the next two, he always had Orlando and Keira there to help carry the load.

But let's be serious...This fourth film did over a billion dollars worldwide (not including DVD rentals/sales, etc.)...They are absolutely 100% going to make a 5th one...And probably a 6th one...They are just not going to leave that kind of money on the table.

Jason
 
Re: Pirates of the Caribbean 5, Beyond the Seas World

Was going to respond to the ham metaphor, but, damn...now I just want some cheese...

Besides trying to introduce too much they made the mistake of, in a popcorn film, trying to add so much ****ing WEIGHT and world-shaking importance to the proceedings (and I'll liken this again to the LotR movies, the Matrix, and much of what was wrong with the SW PT) that it stopped being fun, and started being eye-rollingly ponderous, filled with self-important forced mythology.

What made the first one work to the extent that it did was some nicely shot epic swordfights, Geoffrey Rush getting his Long John Silver on and just going WAY over to the hammy side of the force until he went all the way around and came back to awesome, some cool requisite ship battles, a clever, charming and disarming anti-hero in Depp, and the balls-out coolness of zombie-pirates. Simple story, personal scale.
 
Re: Pirates of the Caribbean 5, Beyond the Seas World

Please stop with these movies. After getting out of the 2nd and 3rd movies I was just like...WTF did I just see? The 4th one was bleh at best, just a lot of bloat and actors that seemed to phone it in (not that there wasn't a lot of that in the originals). The first movie was one of those movies you go into with low expectations and it comes out better than you hope. I remember thinking "Ugh...a movie based on a Disney ride?...really?" and I was surprised that it was decent, even if it did have Bloom and Knightley in it.

They will make another I'm sure, it's all about the $$$. Didn't Depp make some comment about how he'd like it to be a second trilogy of movies? Or something about wanting to play Jack Sparrow in as many movies as they'd want him.
 
Re: Pirates of the Caribbean 5, Beyond the Seas World

Depp said he'd play the character as long as they paid him enough, because he wants his kids to have money after he dies.

The third was the best for me. On Stranger Tides was alright, but it was pretty clear that they phone the last one in. It seems like they wrote the story to include sequences that they wanted to fit in rather than designing sequences around the story. I totally agree with Timmythekid above about the brilliant pirate/clown reversal.

Don't really feel the need to revisit this franchise.
 
This thread is more than 6 years old.

Your message may be considered spam for the following reasons:

  1. This thread hasn't been active in some time. A new post in this thread might not contribute constructively to this discussion after so long.
If you wish to reply despite these issues, check the box below before replying.
Be aware that malicious compliance may result in more severe penalties.

Similar threads

Captain Dunsel
Pirates of the Caribbean 6?
2 3 4
Replies
65
Views
2,755
NakedMoleRat
NakedMoleRat
janglesworthy
Star Wars Tales of The Empire D+ animated series
Replies
12
Views
523
NakedMoleRat
NakedMoleRat
Moviefreak
X-Men 97 trailer
2 3
Replies
43
Views
1,880
NeoRutty
NeoRutty
Apollo
Randy Meisner of the Eagles dead at 77
Replies
0
Views
311
Apollo
Apollo
Moviefreak
Back To The Future: Tales from the Time Train comic
Replies
2
Views
476
justy
justy
Back
Top