The worst movies you've ever seen?

I should clarify...

I am NOT faulting anybody for posting the films highlighted.

Again, everyone is entitled to their opinion, and everyone should respect that.

My issue, I suppose, is the lack of distinction between true technical quality, and personal subjective tastes.

You are exactly right and that's always how these threads go.
 
Skyline was so bad it fills all five slots of my top five worst movies ever. I would try to kill the memory of it with a Q-tip, but that might mean I would end up seeing it again.

Yeah, i bought that one blind, thought it was worth a look.
It still haunts me too, a painful movie, think id rather spend an hour nailing my genatalia to a door.

Lee
 
My issue, I suppose, is the lack of distinction between true technical quality, and personal subjective tastes.


I don't think "techincal merits" is any more objective than "artistic merits". For example, on top of it's artistic failings, I thought technically Blair Witch was a disaster; poorly conceived, poorly shot, poorly edited. Others I'm sure disagree as to even it's technical merits. I thought all three transformers films were techinical disasters - cinematography and editing which utterly failed to establish place or continuity, design which made our protagonsits indistinguishable from the villains. Inane scripts. And on and on. But I'm sure some people saw merit in at least the technical execution. Yeah, Manos is bad, but I never wanted to actually haul off and deck it for it's editing. It's ALWAYS going to come down to a subjective choice, so I think gut reaction "what did you HATE?" is the only way to approach it.

Two worst films I've ever paid to see

- The *&##@&* Fountain (one of the few films that ever made me angry at it)
- The Notebook

Dreck for top to bottom; sacharine cinematography, nonsensical scripting, clunky acting choices. Just totally unbearable films.
 
Battlefield Earth. Such a shame because most of the book (if you ignore the last 200 pages or so), is a fine story.
Ghost of Mars. Not even Natasha Henstrige's tatas could make this movie watchable, in my opinion.


Those are the only ones I can think of off the top of my head that I consider to have no redeeming values whatsoever.
 
Spider-man 3. When Venom finally made it to the movie screen, he's played by... Topher Grace???
Agreed!

My list would include....

Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle (Painfully stupid. Luckily it was on cable)
The Day the Earth Stood Still (I hated that Smith kid more than Keanu)
The Black Dahlia (I HAD to stay to the end just to see how bad it could get)
Scooby Doo (If not for my kids I would have demanded my money back)
Bad Boys I and II (Two guys can invade Cuba?...Really??)
The Adventures of Pluto Nash (even on cable I had to turn it off after 10 min)
Rescue Dawn (And the bland played on)
Bruno (I loved Borat, but this one?...ehh, not so much)
Gummo (Seriously, drop the bomb on that town NOW. KIDS sucked too)
The Happening (M. Night, please stop making movies...or more kittens will die. Add "Lady in the Water to his list too.)

And sadly, I have to add "The Tree of Life". It is literally one of the most beautiful awful movies I've ever seen. The visuals are stunning. The costumes are great. The cinematography is excellent. The soundtrack is moving. Yet the story...at the end I was like, "What the hell did I just watch???" Such a shame, because it could have been amazing if someone actually put the story together for the audience.
 
Ohhh I forgots about Gummo and Doo-doo Nash! Tree of Life, yes. Actually, a couple of horrible movies from that director if I'm not mistaken, Ken Park.
 
I'm going to exclude movies like Manos, because they're too easy. The list of kids' movies is too long, but I'll put the the Chipmunks franchise at the top.
I'll admit to a certain love of bad movies, and host semi-yearly bad movie nights for close friends. You guys are going to hate me for this, but we might be encouraging Uwe Boll, because we rent at least one of his movies each time. I have a certain love for "In the Name of the King". I know it's terrible, but I enjoyed watching it anyway. I don't understand it myself.
 
As big of a John Carpenter fan as I am, Ghosts of Mars just sucks. As a recap of Carpenters previous movies it totally fails to be either watchable, exciting or surprising.

No wonder Carpenter came out of retirement for The Hospital - GoM is one hell of a swansong for an otherwise good to great film maker.
 
I have a huge hate-on for Battlefield Earth and Driven.

I *almost* walked out on BE but the optimist made me sit back down and hope that it would get better. I've seen a lot of flicks and I've never felt so insulted as a viewer with some of the plot points in that piece of crap. Stuff like the human slaves finding an ancient US military base chock full of 1000 year old military equipment THAT STILL WORKS! Or that a tribe of what are essentially cavemen, jump in a still functioning simulator and are able to learn how to fly 1000 year old Harrier jets (STILL the most difficult military aircraft to fly) and they do it in a week AND everything still works! I seriously regret ever laying down cash to see it.

Driven... well, it's a Sylvester Stallone flick, which should say a lot. Being a huge racing fan at the time it came out, the whole movie is seemingly built on a fantasy of how race cars ACTUALLY function. And then there were the race scenes that were cobbled together from other races (very obviously too - the german race had a big "Molson Canadian" ad in it and featured the start/finish line of the Toronto Molson Indy). Other things, like the scene where they're racing in the city streets... those cars don't have starter motors yet the characters just jump in and hit the gas and off they go.

Both movies make me wish I had Wolvie's healing powers so I could pound a spike into my head and hopefully be less retarded when the wound heals.:facepalm:facepalm:facepalm
 
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