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  1. micdavis is offline
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    Jul 5, 2010 - The Empire Strikes Back SUCKS!!! #1
    Here's why.

    Does Irvin Kirshner know anything about military tactics? I mean really why didn't the Empire send 50 SDs to destroy the rebel base. Or maybe blow up that Ion Cannon first. And those Walkers? Come on. How stupid.

    Two Star Destroyers fly directly into each other. Oh please.

    That Falcon must have one helluva set of inertia dampeners to have the folks in the ship not turn to mush. Ridiculous.

    What? They did see the GIANT TEETH when they enter the "cave". Oh yes "The Cave". Isn't Han supposed to be the slickest guy in the Galaxy? He didn't LOOK where he was going. Doesn't have sensors to tell him he was flying into the belly of a life from. He sure must have know it was dangerous, as he hot footed it out of there once he fiugre it out. DUH!!!

    Harrison phones in his performance. He's even admitted he was done with Star Wars before they made TESB and it shows. Wanted to be killed as he held no further story needs.

    Nobody would fall in love with someone as bitchy as Leia.

    How do they get from Hoth to Bespin with no light speed?

    If Bespin was so close to Hoth (no lightspeed). How could the Empire possibly lose them? Are they that stupid?

    How long does Luke train?

    How long does the Falcon take to get to Bespin?

    Why are they wearing the same clothes when they get there?

    Yoda sounds like Fozzie Bear half the time.

    Yoda looks and walks like a muppet.

    Brother and Sister, hackneyed as hackneyed can be.

    The movie has no ending, so relies completely on another film to be complete.

    Now if Kirsh had had the balls to actually end it ON the cliffhanger.

    "Ben why didn't you tell me?" Then flash the TO BE CONTINUED on SCREEN.

    That would have been something.

    I could write more believe me.

    Yep it pretty much sucks.
    Last edited by micdavis; Jul 5, 2010 at 5:15 PM.
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  3. CessnaDriver is offline
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    Jul 5, 2010 - Re: The Empire Strikes Back SUCKS!!! #2
    How does Luke crash land within walking distance of Yoda's house given an entire planet to crash onto!


    The force of course. The force is with this film and it cannot be sucessfully criticized! LOL
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  4. thedarkone is offline
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    Jul 5, 2010 - Re: The Empire Strikes Back SUCKS!!! #3
    all i can say is, one you just started a war and two...its just a movie. As far as time frames go, the events in a movie do not take the 2hrs that the movie is. episode 3 was at least 5 months long, as vaders reconstruction took almost 2 weeks.
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  5. Moviefreak is offline
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    Jul 5, 2010 - Re: The Empire Strikes Back SUCKS!!! #4
    Wow.... I think you are on the brink of a battle in this forum, lol There will be plenty wo will dissaree with you
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  6. James Kenobi 1138 is offline
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    Jul 5, 2010 - Re: The Empire Strikes Back SUCKS!!! #5
    And why didn't Han and Leia leave Hoth on the same side of the planet as Luke ? I mean, Luke just flies away while Han leaves flying directly into Empire ships. WTF ?
    Last edited by James Kenobi 1138; Jul 5, 2010 at 5:31 PM.
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  7. micdavis is offline
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    Jul 5, 2010 - Re: The Empire Strikes Back SUCKS!!! #6
    Leia KISSES Luke, eeeeeeeeewwwwwww!!!!! SISTER DUDE!!!!!

    So maybe the wrting wasn't all it was supposed to be either.

    I guess Kirsh must have a bit of a "yes man" too, to "let" Lucas not give him an ending.

    What self-respecting Director would allow the two MAIN characters kiss if they are brother and sister.
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  8. Jeyl is offline
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    Jul 5, 2010 - Re: The Empire Strikes Back SUCKS!!! #7
    I must admit, this is an intriguing thread. Keep it coming.
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  9. Jeyl is offline
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    Jul 5, 2010 - Re: The Empire Strikes Back SUCKS!!! #8
    Hold on. Let me drop a few coins. Might hit a jackpot.
    micdavis said: View Post
    How long does Luke train?
    Long enough for the Falcon to get to Bespin without a hyperdrive?
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  10. James Kenobi 1138 is offline
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    Jul 5, 2010 - Re: The Empire Strikes Back SUCKS!!! #9
    What exactly did the Wampa use to freeze Lukes legs to the ceiling in the ice cave ?

    On second thought, maybe I don't want to know.
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  11. James Kenobi 1138 is offline
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    Jul 5, 2010 - Re: The Empire Strikes Back SUCKS!!! #10
    And: Lando's guys fix the Falcons hyperdrive, but the Empire deactivates it by aparently simply FLIPPING A SWITCH that is located INSIDE the computer console and with matching INTERNAL lights (red:stop, green:go).

    Who would build anything like that ??
    Last edited by James Kenobi 1138; Jul 5, 2010 at 6:09 PM.
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  12. micdavis is offline
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    Jul 5, 2010 - Re: The Empire Strikes Back SUCKS!!! #11
    And how about them Rebels not very "green" (or perhaps "white" in Hoth's case) to show up and kick the indigenous life forms out their caves and capture a bunch of them.

    Who are the bad guys again?
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  13. cboath is offline
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    Jul 5, 2010 - Re: The Empire Strikes Back SUCKS!!! #12
    How does luke survive a 1000+ foot fall - at least from the looks of the matte painting - looked like 100's of levels. One story is about 10'....do the math. He wasn't in a mood to be using the force either.

    What's with the Monkey emperor?

    Shouldn't Han, Leia, and Chewy have been toast when exiting the ship into the stomach of the space dinosaur? For one, the acid's in it's stomach should have been eating at their feet. Second, that rock was too small to have an atmosphere. You can't walking into a place with no atmosphere with a breathing apparatus that looks like what pops out of the bulkhead in an airplane and live.

    Why did Vader have a glass and plate in front of him in the dining hall? It's not like he can eat with that helmet on....

    When Luke got sucked out the window, how did vader know exactly where to find him and seeing as it looked pretty far down there, how'd he get there so fast. It's not like he knew the layout of the city, especially the innards, very well.

    On a serious note, wasn't lucas upset in the end that Kirshner let Luke/Vader fight with only one hand on their sabers saying it was supposed to be a two handed weapon?
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  14. Egon Spengler is offline
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    Jul 5, 2010 - Re: The Empire Strikes Back SUCKS!!! #13
    I don't remember a single thing in this film being about baseball. What empire?
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  15. micdavis is offline
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    Jul 5, 2010 - Re: The Empire Strikes Back SUCKS!!! #14
    James Kenobi 1138 said: View Post
    And: Lando's guys fix the Falcons hyperdrive, but the the Empire deactivates it by aparently simply FLIPPING A SWITCH that is located INSIDE the computer console and with matching INTERNAL lights (red:stop, green:go).

    Who would build anything like that ??
    Yeah, not too smart to Jump into a ship that has been impounded by the Empire.
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  16. TymerDC is offline
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    Jul 5, 2010 - Re: The Empire Strikes Back SUCKS!!! #15
    Some people have WAYYYYYY too much time on their hands
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  17. cboath is offline
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    Jul 5, 2010 - Re: The Empire Strikes Back SUCKS!!! #16
    Who makes a movie who they admit they gear towards kids where your heroes get their butts kicked left and right for 2 solid hours? Then it ends with the heroes running away with their tails tucked between their legs...
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  18. JoMamma_Smurf is offline
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    Jul 5, 2010 - Re: The Empire Strikes Back SUCKS!!! #17
    nevermind.
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  19. James Kenobi 1138 is offline
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    Jul 5, 2010 - Re: The Empire Strikes Back SUCKS!!! #18
    Aw, we're just playing along. Any SW talk is good stuff.
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  20. cayman shen is offline
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    Jul 5, 2010 - Re: The Empire Strikes Back SUCKS!!! #19
    Anyone who thinks ESB sucks should be lobotomized. Or already has been. (No offense: I assume this thread is just a snarky response to the ROTJ thread? I mean, you are kidding, right?)
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  21. STARTREKTOS is offline
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    Jul 5, 2010 - Re: The Empire Strikes Back SUCKS!!! #20
    I just keep checking back every hour or so, waiting for the carnage to unfold.
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  22. micdavis is offline
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    Jul 5, 2010 - Re: The Empire Strikes Back SUCKS!!! #21
    cayman shen said: View Post
    Anyone who thinks ESB sucks should be lobotomized. Or already has been. (No offense: I assume this thread is just a snarky response to the ROTJ thread? I mean, you are kidding, right?)
    "That would be telling." --Number 2 (Leo McKern), The Prisoner
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  23. MooCriket is offline
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    Jul 5, 2010 - Re: The Empire Strikes Back SUCKS!!! #22
    Saying ESB sucks is the same as punching a puppy. You like puppies, don't ya Mic?
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  24. STARTREKTOS is offline
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    Jul 5, 2010 - Re: The Empire Strikes Back SUCKS!!! #23
    Well it looks like he does.
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  25. Nuclearsphinx is offline
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    Jul 5, 2010 - Re: The Empire Strikes Back SUCKS!!! #24
    Im with you Criket. Saying Empire sucks is like hitting a little kitten.
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  26. MooCriket is offline
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    Jul 5, 2010 - Re: The Empire Strikes Back SUCKS!!! #25
    ^Oh no he did'nt. Dude(TOS)...ya better put a caption in that photo saying no real puppy was hurt!
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